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Did you have dad in delivery room?

eg214eg214 member
in Single Parents

So baby daddy has decided to pay up and do right after he had the audacity to show up at my mothers house. She gave it to him good and he decided to call my midwife and pay for all of my medical bills. Showing signs of intelligence...

Anyway, for those of you who are unmarried/were unmarried/broken up/etc....did you allow baby daddy in delivery room? I'm not 100% sure and have plenty of time to think it through. I will do what's best for me, but curious if any of you allowed dad in. 


PCOS // Loss 3/2010 // Single Mom // Natural Birth // DC Metro // Baby Girl Born 2/2/2014
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Re: Did you have dad in delivery room?

  • babymama619babymama619 member

    My BD hasn't said a word to me since the BFP other than he'll "need DNA beforehe gets involved". So I can't imagine that he will want to join me. If he did crawl out of the wood work I'd need to think long and hard about it. 

    I think that you are right, YOU HAVE LOTS OF TIME. Don't commit to anything one way or the other. If he presses, just tell him you need to think about it.  

    Also, when you get there you will need to do what is best for you. If having him there will be a stressor, then he isn't invited. If you're planning on taking birth classes you'll want to do that around 7 months, and you may want a birth partner with you. If things are still touch and go, I might suggest you pick someone else so you're not committed to BD if he goes off the deep end before D-day.

    I'm glad he did step up and pay the bills though. 


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  • ktedmonktedmon member

    I will not be allowing BD in the delivery room. He hasn't really been involved, other than asking how I'm doing and the baby, though using other undesirable nn. My sister is the one that is going to be going to the birthing class and my other sister will also be with me. Other than that, I don't want much involvement from BD. He's a liar and a user. He got another girl pregnant after me and is trying to get back together with her and so much drama, I don't need in my life. Good luck in your decision, just make the best choice for you and your baby.

     

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  • pregokatpregokat member
    Nope, he was hours away playing family man with the girl he got pregnant 2 months after getting me pregnant 
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  • dmndsr4evadmndsr4eva member
    BD and I were together at the time so he was there and saw me at my most vulnerable.  Birth is not pretty.  Now that he dumped me I regret in a lot of ways that I allowed him to share that experience with me.  If were you I would not have him there.  Have supportive women who can help you.  He is welcome to come see the baby after the birth.
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  • mamaHippo23mamaHippo23 member
    My feeling is you're either 100% in this or not. If the dad is going to be consistently involved in the child's life and give long-term financial and emotional support, then yes I would let him in the room. Otherwise, no he can not just participate in the special occasions and then leave you with the rest. I did let the dad be present for the birth, because he earned it by helping me all through the pregnancy and took an interest in all the preparations and decisions. If he had not put in that effort, I would have made him stay in the waiting room. 
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  • eg214eg214 member
    Yeah mine just sealed his fate by throwing his hands up and walking away from helping with my maternity care so...at this point...there is no dad. No dad for the birth certificate. No dad for his last name. Blah blah. Like you said, my belief is you are not going to throw your hands up and walk away just to swoop in for the fun stuff at the end.

    PCOS // Loss 3/2010 // Single Mom // Natural Birth // DC Metro // Baby Girl Born 2/2/2014
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  • tig594tig594 member
    Yes...i let him in for my c-section. We weren't getting along very well at the time but, as long as he was sober i said he could come. I think i did it more for our daughter. I have pictures of her daddy holding her in the OR. She will appreciate that someday. I also know that just because we can't get along he still loves his daughter.
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  • inthelostinthelost member
    I have not heard a word from my BD expressing any interest in wanting to be their for the birth of his daughter, and I don't really want him there, so he probably won't be there. I'm still debating if I should even tell him when I go into labor..I'm not sure if he'll care..
    Liliana Seraphina born 9/5/2103


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  • rachaelT28rachaelT28 member
    I have been putting off my husband about going into delivery with me because hes a cheater, but I feel bad because I think he does really care about the baby, so I told him he could come in but stay out of the way I have a birthing coach and that's who I want by my side not him. Our baby is high risk and I was just told Thursday even though I am 26 weeks I am literally on a "it could happen at anytime basis" hes been with me through our other two it would be strange without him at least in the room.
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