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Am I leaning in...or out?

AgoAgo member
in Working Moms

Next month DD and I will be moving three hours away to the city where my husband has found a job and started working at in March.  We had originally hoped to keep the current arrangement for a year before moving up there, but it has just been too hard on my daughter and me.  I went out on a limb with my agency after working there 5 years and proposed a remote location arrangment, where I would still be coming into our corporate office 2-3x month for a day or two, separate weeks.  I was very thourough in my proposal and it was approved.  Very few people have a remote location setup in my agency, and those who do have higher positions than I do (I am in an assistant director position).  I have worked very hard for the agency and have proven myself as dedicated. 

I am starting to feel some intense guilt about my new arrangement.  A couple of the VPs have approached me to express surprise at me moving, but also glad to hear I'm staying on.  My response has been that the agency has been very gracious to allow me the opportunity and that I will still be in the office occasionally each month and readily available by phone (our offices are across the state(but the closest is 1:15 from where I wil be living), so it is not unusual to have communication primarily through phone, e-mail, video conferencing).  In the past, the same VPs have expressed that they see me moving up, and I wonder if this next step is seen as leaning out.  I get a feeling that some of the approach to me is to make me feel guilty, but my husband thinks it might be just to get some reassurance from me that this isn't the first step of me leaving.  I have a feeling I'm going to be spending a lot of this next year proving myself once again.

University of Kansas alum Geoff Folker applies food coloring to his snow sculpture at his home on Park Street in Olathe, Kan., on Sunday, March 24, 2013. A storm that dumped up to 15 inches of snow on parts of Colorado and Kansas is making its way east, with winter storm warnings and advisories issued for today and tomorrow as far east as Pennsylvania. (AP Photo/The Kansas City Star, John Sleezer)

January OAD Siggy Challenge: Creative Snow Sculptures

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Re: Am I leaning in...or out?

  • 2chatter2chatter member

    I think that people view remote arrangements with some surprise, and I don't really understand what drives that.  I have worked remotely for three years, and my team has never been local.  I previously officed out of another group's local office for three years, and their work was entirely unrelated to mine.  Even then, people would respond strangely when they found out what city I was in - it's hard to explain.

    I will say it has never actually impeded me in any way.  It's just an odd reaction.  I would say this is not a lean in or out thing - they made an arragement with you, and people are just curious.   

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  • AgoAgo member
    Thank you!  That is a good perspective to put to it and helps me know what to expect from someone who has been there.
    University of Kansas alum Geoff Folker applies food coloring to his snow sculpture at his home on Park Street in Olathe, Kan., on Sunday, March 24, 2013. A storm that dumped up to 15 inches of snow on parts of Colorado and Kansas is making its way east, with winter storm warnings and advisories issued for today and tomorrow as far east as Pennsylvania. (AP Photo/The Kansas City Star, John Sleezer)

    January OAD Siggy Challenge: Creative Snow Sculptures

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  • CrawltheWarriorKingCrawltheWarriorKing member

    I don't think it's seen as leaning out necessarily since you are moving due to your husbands job.  But at the same time you might not be the first person that comes to mind for a promotion if that position would require more face time with the execs or a team. 

    As far as your comment on proving yourself for the next year, I think this is 100% accurate and I think you should make even more of an effort to shine because like you said very few people have remote location set ups and you need to prove you are able to still succeed when not in the office.

    Another thing to think about, you love your job and company but realistically is moving up in the company possible with you not living there?  Something to think about for yourself and see if maybe there are other opportunities for you to grow closer to your new home.

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  • jd614jd614 member
    I think leaning out would be quitting. You are showing clear commitment to the company and your team and as long as the quality of your work doesn't suffer I think it's a great arrangement . Family
    Comes first and you ar doing what's best for ur family . This just happened to work out as well. Good luck !
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