Moms of older kids

Mrs.G123 · July 2013

At what age did you start mentioning inappropriate touching and behavior, and how frequently did you have this conversation?

ChrisG83 · July 2013

When I met my husband his boys were had just turned 4 and 5. They had already started that conversation however it had to be reinforced when someone went to the bathroom or was taking a bath. They would walk in on each other and the other one would get upset so my husband would sit them down and explain why people need privacy etc.. So almost everyday this happened. Also to this day if I am out with the boys and they have to go to the bathroom I still tell them to not talk to anyone in the bathroom and be sure to lock the stall.

Mrs.G123 · July 2013

piffle42 said:
I think around 4ish. He PT super late so we talked about it then. We still talk about it occasionally. Usually if something comes up that makes for a good transition. There have been a lot of news stories by us that make it easy to bring it up unfortunately.

There was a post about this on Parenting recently with some good advice. I think I bookmarked it. I'll look for it next time I get a chance to get on my laptop.

Please do!

Mrs.RockyM · July 2013

a little after 2 or so we started talking about her bathing suit area and how nobody should touch anything in that area but mommy or daddy or the doctor. DD is 4 now, and we've just started talking about how mommy does certain things (like baths) and not daddy. we probably have to have a real talk about it soon though.

Mrs.G123 · July 2013

Mrs.RockyM said:
a little after 2 or so we started talking about her bathing suit area and how nobody should touch anything in that area but mommy or daddy or the doctor. DD is 4 now, and we've just started talking about how mommy does certain things (like baths) and not daddy. we probably have to have a real talk about it soon though.

Wait. Your H doesn't bathe her???

Mrs.G123 · July 2013

@Mrs. RockyM

nealbl · July 2013

Mrs.G123 said:

Mrs.RockyM said:
a little after 2 or so we started talking about her bathing suit area and how nobody should touch anything in that area but mommy or daddy or the doctor. DD is 4 now, and we've just started talking about how mommy does certain things (like baths) and not daddy. we probably have to have a real talk about it soon though.
Wait. Your H doesn't bathe her???

I'm curious on this one too.

nealbl · July 2013

We already started that with dd1. I am a technical term person and I tell her that nobody should be touching her vagina unless mommy or daddy are cleaning her. She went through a phase not long ago where, if she was naked, she would touch herself. So we had to talk about that too.

Mrs.RockyM · July 2013

No, DH doesn't bathe the girls. He bathed DD1 when I was super duper pregnant and couldn't get down by the tub, but that's it. He's never bathed DD2. He says he's uncomfortable and he doesn't know how to clean girl parts. I personally think he's just lazy and doesn't want to do it, even though I've told him it's just like cleaning your butt. I partially really wanted DD2 to be a boy, just so I could use that excuse too. I'm sure if I were out of town he'd just suck it up and do it.

At this point I'm used to it. But, on a happy note, I take the girls up for baths (and it really is fun to watch them play together) and when I come down dinner is cleaned, everything is put away and the dishwasher is emptied and reloaded.

nealbl · July 2013

Mrs.RockyM said:
No, DH doesn't bathe the girls. He bathed DD1 when I was super duper pregnant and couldn't get down by the tub, but that's it. He's never bathed DD2. He says he's uncomfortable and he doesn't know how to clean girl parts. I personally think he's just lazy and doesn't want to do it, even though I've told him it's just like cleaning your butt. I partially really wanted DD2 to be a boy, just so I could use that excuse too. I'm sure if I were out of town he'd just suck it up and do it.
At this point I'm used to it. But, on a happy note, I take the girls up for baths (and it really is fun to watch them play together) and when I come down dinner is cleaned, everything is put away and the dishwasher is emptied and
reloaded.

Hmmm dishes cleaned up you may be onto something

Rachelilly23 · July 2013

We're PT DS1 now so we're starting to talk about not touching himself all the time etc. He's a "young 3", so im not sure he understands yet about when it's appropriate to touch it or which people can (i.e. DH and I when we're cleaning him from accidents or in the tub/shower)? However, he is learning to hold it himself when he pees and cleans himself in the shower. I imagine we'll need to start talking about it more as he gets closer to 4, 5 years old.

wesleycrusher · July 2013

Don't have an older kid, but I love the way fredalina on Parenting has taught her daughter. Hopefully piffle has the link.

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