Maternity Leave

lollipoppoop · July 2013

I am planning on taking 12 weeks of maternity leave then returning to work. I am just for some reason having a hard time taking that long when I know they are going to hire a temp. I keep thinking what if they like the temp better and other irrational stuff. I know I like being in control at work and I won't have any control when im gone. Any advice? I am seriously in tears over this for some reason.

TheBorg7of9 · July 2013

Take the 12 weeks and do not think twice about it. What happens at work while you are gone is out of your control. Do the best you can until you leave for maternity leave and then let it go. You will never be able to get that baby time back if you give it up.

BTW, I am due the same day as you! I plan to take 18 weeks.

lollipoppoop · July 2013

TheBorg7of9 said:

Take the 12 weeks and do not think twice about it. What happens at work while you are gone is out of your control. Do the best you can until you leave for maternity leave and then let it go. You will never be able to get that baby time back if you give it up.

BTW, I am due the same day as you! I plan to take 18 weeks.

Thank you! I will def take your advice

It's refreshing to here your taking 18 weeks. Everyone I have talked to took 6 weeks and thinks 12 is too long.

Mustardseed2007 · July 2013

TheBorg7of9 said:

Take the 12 weeks and do not think twice about it. What happens at work while you are gone is out of your control. Do the best you can until you leave for maternity leave and then let it go. You will never be able to get that baby time back if you give it up.

BTW, I am due the same day as you! I plan to take 18 weeks.

This is great advice. Just don't worry about it, some things are too important not to do - like taking time with your infant. So since you need to take the time, don't think about what they are doing without you.

And keep in mind, you're job IS protected by FMLA, so firing you and replacing you with your temp in the same job would be illegal. Yeah we can all be afraid about corporate politics and strange maneuvering by management, but federal law does provide that measure of comfort.

TheBorg7of9 · July 2013

People in Europe and Canada get one year.

mariamaria · July 2013

Take it! It will go so fast. I took 15 weeks and have 2 weeks left and I can't believe how fast it's gone. I'm super controlling about my job and some of my work had to shift to others and I may not get it back; however, I got over if. I can tell you from going through this twice so far, once you are busy with baby you will be surprised how quickly you let go of work. Enjoy the time cuz you will never get it back (so cliche I know)! I still kept tabs on things and connected with coworkers only so my dread going back wouldn't be as strong.

Karla CS · July 2013

Take all the time you can! I originally thought I'd only do 12 weeks, then opted for 16.. at the end of the day only 12 weeks were with the baby (she was laaaaaaaaaaaaate!).. At some point during that leave, my priorities shifted, and I wouldn't change it for the world. I wish I could have had even more time, but my job and all it's ups and downs were waiting for me when I got back.

jnnfrrose6 · July 2013

Take it. You can't control what others do while you are away, but as PP said, your job (or technically one of equal pay/level) is protected while you are out by FMLA. Sucks that it FMLA isn't paid (except for short term disability), but if you can afford to take the time, take it!

lollipoppoop · July 2013

Thanks everyone! I feel much better today about it. I do believe 100% that when I hold my baby for the first time I won't be thinking about work problems while im gone

aibrean · July 2013

Well I took 14 weeks and then put in my notice (got a better job that came up while I was off...working for one of my programmers I outsource development work to).

Reilly626 · July 2013

Once the baby comes you will be crying having to leave them in 12 weeks, you don't know until they are here believe me! I took 13 months and I'm sad.

costa2011 · July 2013

As long as you qualify for FMLA, they are not going to get rid of you and have to have a job of equal pay and status waiting for you when you get back. So don't worry about it and take your full 12 weeks, you're going to need and want it!

olga1311 · July 2013

I agree with PP. Just take it and enjoy your baby. Its such precious time that you will regret not having if you were to come back too early. I am sure work will be far from your mind once the LO gets here. FWIW I am taking 24-29 weeks (6-7 months) with my work's blessing and I can't wait to be with my LO although is seems like so long now it will fly by.

amberhoothoot · July 2013

I am jealous of all of you! I only got 6 weeks with baby, and then had to use various other days on the same FMLA note. We get 12 total for the year, but I had to use the time for any days taken for OB visits, nausea, and I had a heart condition so that took some of it too. Plus I had to leave a couple weeks leftover of the 12 after coming back so i could take baby to all the baby appts and my follow ups. Oh well, it killed me leaving DS at 6 weeks but as I'm commissioned, it was better for the banks accounts.

Hoping you don't think about work once while you're with your new baby!!!

Also a tip... instruct your friends/co-workers not to tell you about work things while you're off. It can really throw you back into the "oh crap I missing important stuff at work" mindset.

Stephorse · July 2013

I took the 12 weeks off like you did, and it was wonderful, until I went back to work. I found out that my sub talked poorly about me behind my back. Turns out that the superintendent believed her rather than the junior high/ high school principal and decided to hire her and let me go at the end of the school year. Now I'll have a nicer job, but will be paid less. That was what happened to me, but if you've got good job performance and great colleagues at work, I doubt it'll happen to you.

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