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Baby Registry Etiquette

KMB611KMB611 member
in Baby Showers
I know someone who is having a third child. She has registered for baby items and some of them are quite costly. She has already had 2 baby showers and is expecting folks to buy her gifts again. She is expecting individuals to purchase these costly items. Many of our family members are refusing because they either don't have the funds or just don't want to be bothered. Is there an etiquette when it comes to what the cost is of an item you register for? I know what I personally would do but I just want some insight from others.
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Re: Baby Registry Etiquette

  • Michelle NMichelle N member
    edited July 2013
    There is an etiquette that you don't have three baby showers. 
    I don't think she should have registered at all other than for completion coupons. I'd be busy for baby shower day. 
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  • Texasmomma13Texasmomma13 member
    I read your other posts as well. In answer to your questions, yes your family and grandmother are correct. You shouldn't have showers for your third baby, unless there are people who really WANT to throw one for you. Even then, there shouldn't be a registry and it should be very small.  In this case, that doesn't seem to be what is happening. If your family is side eyeing her behavior/requests then her friends most likely are too.
    If I were you, I wouldn't even go to the shower. If you would like to give the baby a gift, I would keep it small.
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  • EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member
    Well, she can "expect" all she wants, but in the end - each one of you has the choice to buy a gift or not, and buy whatever you want.  No guns are being held to anyone's head. 

    She sounds rude, but that gives her no say in how you all spend your  money.
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  • KMB611KMB611 member
    edited July 2013
    First, I apologize for this posting multiple times. I clicked submit and got an error message. Darn message board!

    When she had her second child I purchased a car seat and a breast pump for her. I understand a new baby needs many things but needing a travel system with an infant carrier versus wanting a $400 travel system is crazy. The baby isn't going to care if he or she is an an expensive stroller and car seat. Thank you for understanding where I'm coming from with this.
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  • KMB611KMB611 member
    MosyMama, I'm sure you're in a different situation than the individual I am speaking about. She has had the opportunity to have the pricey items. After her second child, she got rid of EVERYTHING. I understand that regulations for cribs and car seats have changed . Asking for the pricey items for your first child is one thing, but to expect it for your third child is hard for me to get my head around. I also understand registering for the items you want so you can receive the completion coupon.
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  • KMB611KMB611 member

    lisarene77 said:
    I read your other posts as well. In answer to your questions, yes your family and grandmother are correct. You shouldn't have showers for your third baby, unless there are people who really WANT to throw one for you. Even then, there shouldn't be a registry and it should be very small.  In this case, that doesn't seem to be what is happening. If your family is side eyeing her behavior/requests then her friends most likely are too.
    If I were you, I wouldn't even go to the shower. If you would like to give the baby a gift, I would keep it small.
    People forget the difference between wants and needs. While I want a luxury automobile, I need something economical. My mother told me that if I want certain items for my child she'll help me purchase them without having to ask other people to purchase them. 
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  • KMB611KMB611 member
    EastCoastBride said:
    Well, she can "expect" all she wants, but in the end - each one of you has the choice to buy a gift or not, and buy whatever you want.  No guns are being held to anyone's head. 

    She sounds rude, but that gives her no say in how you all spend your  money.
    I can get past the fact that she has a registry. But to ask for a stroller costing more than $300 and a high chair that's close to $200 (which by the way you won't even use right away) is a bit selfish in my opinion. These are the same people that always expect gifts but when there's a shower given in someone else's honor, they don't buy anything. Some of this is personal; I'm tired of buying people nice gifts. Can you sense I'm a bit frustrated? LOL!
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  • carlieanddanweddingcarlieanddanwedding member
    She shouldn't even HAVE a public registry. There is nothing wrong with having a registry, for your own use and completion coupons, for a third child, and there is nothing wrong with putting expensive items on it. The faux pas here is not the expense of the items, but the fact that she is sharing the registry at all. At very least she should only be sharing her registry if specifically asked for it (and if you specifically ask her for her registry, then IMO it's rude of you to side-eye items on it).
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  • KMB611KMB611 member
    carlieanddanwedding said:
    She shouldn't even HAVE a public registry. There is nothing wrong with having a registry, for your own use and completion coupons, for a third child, and there is nothing wrong with putting expensive items on it. The faux pas here is not the expense of the items, but the fact that she is sharing the registry at all. At very least she should only be sharing her registry if specifically asked for it (and if you specifically ask her for her registry, then IMO it's rude of you to side-eye items on it).
    I'm not side-eyeing her registry. If she tells me she's registered somewhere, I'm going to look. I just didn't appreciate that fact that she and I were talking about her pregnancy and she made a point of saying, "I'm registered at Babies R Us."
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  • rachepierachepie member
    I really don't understand why everyone gets so uppity about registries and baby gift etiquette.  It doesn't hurt to make a list of things you want/need: it's helpful for the people who do want to get something for the baby.  If there's something "outrageous" on the registry, don't buy it.  If you don't want to buy a gift (for whatever reason or no reason at all), don't buy a gift or even look on the registry.  Problem solved.

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  • MMason12MMason12 member
    I agree with PP..... having a 3rd shower is super tacky; however, putting expensive items on your registry is far from tacky.  Don't you know about the completion coupon they give you after your shower so you can purchase items that no one did on your list at a discount?  That's the perfect thing to do with those large/expensive items that you really want and hardly ever go on sale.  
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