Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
knottie3c0525a8a3c64eaa
member
Re: Repeat csection mommas?
I'm the total opposite and am one of the women you describe in your post. I want an unmedicated VBAC next time...for sure!!! Honestly...in most cases the VBAC is a lot safer than a RCS. The section is major surgery.
Just really do your research...even with more than one dr or midwife.
Also...even though we are different we are still moms and having a section makes you no less of a mom than a vaginal birth.
I've never delivered vaginally yet, but I really believe c sections are harder. The recover is brutal. We are just as much a mom!!!!!
Good luck!'
Mom to Carter (6), and Calianne (1).
Proud VBAC, natural birth, breastfeeding, cloth diapering momma!
This! All of mine have been CS/RCS. I'm a firm believer in VBAC's and so is my doctor but they just aren't the best choice for everyone. Oddly enough my Dad is the only one who's given me a hard time for not trying VBAC. I just don't think he quite understands.
The reason people criticize is because it validates their own experiences. This is what I remind myself when I hear condescending pregnancy or parenting advice. I chose a RCS over a VBAC because I actually had such a good experience with my first c/s and was not a good candidate due to a medical condition. And it was a good thing I did because I ended up with a true knot in the cord which would have tightened with the breaking of the water and cut off oxygen had I attempted a vaginal delivery. Plus LO was 12lb 6oz and I'm somewhat small so there was just no way no matter what anyone wants to say!
I think as long as you are happy with your decision then no one should be able to take that away from you. There is so much pressure on women today with way too many double edged swords. You should do this, you should do that, you should stay at home, you should work, you should only have x number of children, etc. In these situations the best thing I do is remember not to judge someone in a future situation. You can't change the other women, but you can remember how it feels to be judged and support another woman in the future with whatever decision she is making even if it doesn't match our ideals or our own experiences. I wish you luck in your RCS and hope you have a memorable birth!
It may be hard, but try not to let other people's opinions effect you. I don't mean this snarky, but who the heck cares if someone doesn't like your birthing choice, they have way too much time on their hands and no life if they're going to argue over how someone else gives birth. I don't understand why people think it's any of their business how someone chooses to bring a baby into this world. I've had a vaginal birth and 2 c/s (though I was hoping to VBAC the 2nd c/s). I can tell you that my c/s were definitely not the easy way out, less of birthing, or any of that. Sure you skip the contractions, they last 1-2 FREAKING DAYS. With a c/s you get a much larger cut than an episiotomy, weeks of stomach pains every time you cough, sneeze, blow you nose, laugh too hard. All 3 of my deliveries have been "by the book", no complications at all. I've never heard any negativity based on my birthing options, but it really ticks me off when people think they have a right to an opinion on this subject.
Too late, but to make it short, try not to listen to them. They have no idea about your situation (even if you explained it to them they wouldn't truly know) so they really have no clue what they're talking about.
GSx1 - 05/13/2013
GSx2 for T&B - EDD 6/21/2015 - They're having a GIRL!
I have had three c/s. When I was pregnant with #2 a few people talked to me about a VBAC, not in a condescending way, but more of a " this is why I chose a VBAC" way. However, no one was ever rude to me about having a c/s. A few people have pointed out how different I am from my mom because she had 7 homebirths, but that is about all.
YES!! I get this all the time. My first baby was 7lbs 9oz and broke my tail bone on the way out. With my second my doctor called me after my growth scan and advised me to have a c-section as the baby was measuring really big. Although the last thing I wanted was a c-section I chose to follow my Doctors advice as she has 30 years of experienc. He ended up being 9lbs 8ozs and although the recovery sucked I have no regrets because I know in my heart I would have had serious issues delivering him naturally.
I received such a negative response on my decision it was unreal. Acquaintances deleted me on facebook and put me on blast on for my decision. I was totally taken aback and really sad about how many people felt the need to weigh in on the decision that was such a hard one for my husband and I to make.
I am now 35 weeks pregnant with my third and am getting the same type of feedback for not trying a vbac. A) my Doctor won't even perform them
my best friend almost died after trying for a vbac, she ended up in emergency surgery for 5 hours to repair her uterus C) out of 13 people I know that tried for a vbac only one has been successful, the other 12 have ended up with emergency c sections after they labored and their babies either wouldn't cooperate or ended up in distress.
It blows my mind that people think they have the right to make you feel bad for the decisions you make. Everyone has different experiences with labor and everyone needs to decide what is best for their baby and for themselves and everyone else needs to keep their opinions to themselves
This exactly. I know the reality of my situation and will make decisions based on that. I hate when people act like I am doing something along the level of drugs by having a c section. My body, my choice. I don't sit around and judge/taunt all those women who tried to have a natural birth and then ended up getting drugs so why do they get to judge me!
You guys are so right. I thought I was going nuts. The more I read about it, the more I want to steer away from VBACs. I'm not sure why some women get so mad about us choosing a csection. Do we get mad at people who choose unmedicated home births? It doesn't come without its risks either. So it just blows my mind.
My brother is a doctor and I just spend 40 minutes on the phone with me. He gave me reassurance the csection was the right thing for us. This combined with your comments make me feel more at peace and less upset about the way crazy people are reacting to my choice. Thanks ladies!!
I'm having a repeat because I'm not a candidate for VBAC due to spacing of my children. I did my research. I knew what my choices are = limited. I've been lucky because people have only asked me why I wasn't choosing VBAC as an option to which I explain it isn't an option I have and why.
Hang tough and stay true to you. Let those other people talk to themselves with all that noise!
I have had 5 sections and will be having my 6th and last in April.
It's your body, your birth, your baby, and ultimately your decision. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for doing what you and your doctor believe is best for you and your baby.
For the record, I got tons of crap for wanting a VBAC. My parents and H kept trying to talk me out of it. I even got an "I told you so" when I had a RCS. It's a simple fact of life that everyone knows what's best for you better than you do.
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