Intro and confused

one2andnow3 · July 2013

Hi all. I just got home from the dr and baby had stopped growing and no heartbeat. My dr gave me 3 options and I am so sad I do not know what to choose.

Option 1 pass naturally
Option 2 pill
Option 3 D and C

Please help me with any advice or experience you may have had. Thank you.

Kinipela7 · July 2013

Everyone is different but do what you think is best for you, but here's what I did! My body was not giving me ANY signs of miscarriage so I chose to wait a little longer (while having more scans/blood work). Once I was absolutely positive it was not viable, I opted for the D&C because I was tired of waiting, I wanted it over, and I wanted to move on ASAP. There are risks with every option and what scared me the most is that even if you do take the pills, you may still need to have the D&C. The D&C was easy (although scary for sure!) and I'm so glad I chose that route (although I don't have anything else to compare it too). Make the decision that YOU want. *hugs*

mcquader1 · July 2013

I understand completely what you are going through and feel so sorry for your loss. The exact same thing happened to me 1.5 wks ago. I was faced w making such a difficult decision. I wanted to take the pill bc of lower risks of complicated future pregnancies. But then was scared of hemmorage and needing the d&c anyway. I'd also never had general anesthesia. I ended up weighing my options- and went with the d&c. Just had it this morning. It was SOOO easy and totally painless. In that way, it was the perfect solution. But I cannot say for sure if it was the best choice until I successfully am pregnant again. We were told to wait for one cycle to try again. I have a 9 month old son whom we were pregnant without trying. This pregnancy we were successful on the first try. I'm hoping I will still be fertile "myrtle" after this procedure. Wishing you the best- take your time.

E&B0811 · July 2013

I am so sorry for your loss. I was given the option of a d and c or the pills when I had my mmc a few weeks ago. I was too far along and not showing any signs of mc naturally so that wasn't an option for me.

I initially took miso to induce the physical part of the mc. The pills did not work for me and I needed a d and c. In the end, the miso allowed me to experience some of the physical pain and symptoms I would have associated with a mc and helped me have closure. But, in the end, I wish I had just done the d and c to begin with.

Good luck with your decision. T and p to you during this time.

cindydee · July 2013

I am on the same boat as you. Yesterday doctor told me there was no heartbeat. I should be 8w but ultrasound showed 7w3days. I got the pill but cannot bring myself to take it. I'm calling doctor again to have another ultrasound in a week just to put my mind at ease that this is not a viable pregnancy. I think i'm leaning towards a d&c next week since I've been reading the pill does not work for many. Good luck to you and i'm so sorry you are going through this. This is so difficult and no one should have to go through this. *hugs* I know how you feel.

one2andnow3 · July 2013

Thank you for your input. I have googled it and I am trying the pill as we speak. I am scarred that everything won't come out. Of course if that happens I will move on to the next option. I am so sad that I have to be here and feel guilty about being excited for a baby. DH is awesome he left work and is taking the best care of me. As sad as I am I feel so lucky that I have wonderful people surrounding my life. If anyone has more detailed experience about the pill and is comfortable sharing I would like to hear.

deren1em · July 2013

So sorry for you loss. Looks like you made a decision and I wish you the best luck. Hopefully everything goes smoothly. Glad to hear your DH is being supportive - they can be amazing can't they? Even though they are sad and suffering as well. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your hub!

E&B0811 · July 2013

aleigha85 said:
Thank you for your input. I have googled it and I am trying the pill as we speak. I am scarred that everything won't come out. Of course if that happens I will move on to the next option. I am so sad that I have to be here and feel guilty about being excited for a baby. DH is awesome he left work and is taking the best care of me. As sad as I am I feel so lucky that I have wonderful people surrounding my life. If anyone has more detailed experience about the pill and is comfortable sharing I would like to hear.

Here's some info on my experience with the pills.

I took the miso on at about 2 pm the day after we learned that our baby had stopped growing and no longer had a hb. The first 5 or 6 hours were the worst. At first, until about 430, it was just the sadness and anticipation of everything. But between 430 and about 7 it was the worst physical pain I have ever had. I started bcp in high school because of bad cramps and the cramps and pain I had that night were way more intense. I could hardly stand up and at one point it was so bad that I started to vomit. The pain went from 25 on a scale pf 1 to 10 to an intermitent 6 or 7 until anoit 2:30 am that night. The doctor told me that the pain would be intense but I really underestimated her warning. By about 9 I began to bleed and passed some medium sized, grape size and smaller, clots and then a couple that were much larger by midnight or so.

I bled fairly heavily for 2 days and I think I underestimated how the prolonged bleeding would make me feel. A day or so after i took the pills about, the pain was almost totally gone, and i did not take anything more for the pain. But, after continuing to bleed and passing a lime sized clot, 3 days post miso, my ob had me go to the er to be seen. After a scan and hours in the er, I had to have an emergency d and c. Sucky.

I really do think the pain and having the privacy helped me with the grief. Because i had no symptoms before the sad ultrasound, I think I really needed this experience to really know it was over.

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