NBR: quitting my job (long)

TradeMama · July 2013

So, basically... my boss seemed fine and even excited when I told her I was pregnant. She was one of the very first people I told... I was less than 6 weeks along. She never gave me any trouble about it until the very end. At the very end, she seemed really uncomfortable with me leaving on maternity leave... and while on one hand she would keep saying that I could take as much time as I needed, she seemed really unsure about it. So at the end, I only took 6 weeks off even though I had had a C-section and it took at least that long to be able to walk up a flight of stairs.

Once I came back, she insisted on doing a performance evaluation the day I returned. She told me that I had left her in a "bind" by going out, and in turn she gave me a really negative review, saying that I didn't meet deadlines (because I left work for my replacement that I had only been assigned days before I went out on leave). I have never had any complaints from clients about my work, and my boss always said that I did a great job until I got back from maternity leave. She hired someone temporarily to fill in for me, but not until after I left to go out on leave, so I'm not sure what he did/didn't do. In addition to that, since I had been working for her a year, she had me sign a new contract and we went over the "policies"... and part of that was deciding that instead of getting paid federal holidays off as it was in my original contract, we would only get Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and 4th of July. Also, she didn't give me my yearly raise, saying that we would "re-evaluate" in a few months. So, not only did she take away my paid leave... but without a raise, my pay actually went down. So, now after working for well over a year, I make the same as I did when I started here part time. Also, while I was gone she hired a new employee who gets benefits. My boss had stated that if she gave the new girl benefits, I would get the cash equivalent because I get insurance, etc. through my husband. But, so far I've gotten nothing.

So, the final straw for me was that my boss pushed me to take a certification exam with a notoriously low pass rate (3%). I paid for the exam ($200) and the prep course ($1100) and the required materials ($800) out of pocket. She said that she would reimburse me, but that was before I went out on leave... and she hasn't said anything about it since. She now refuses to give me time off to study for my exam.

I pay $2000 a month in daycare for DS, and now that we are expecting again, I have to consider what life would be like at my current job with no hope of a promotion or a raise and TWO babies in daycare. I want to work-- I'm a lawyer by trade, although my current job is more regulatory than legal-- but just not for my current employer. We can survive off my husband's salary alone, my income is emergency funds and savings. So my plan is to quit, take my exam, and find something else. My boss will hit the roof when I quit, and probably will give me a negative recommendation.

This is my first "real" job out of law school... so I've never done this before. Does anyone have any advice? I'm sure it's what I want but I'm nervous I'm making a mistake. Help!

jayro10 · July 2013

You probably know better than I do, but is there some sort of legal recourse in there? Seems like a lot of discrimination going on! And only getting 6 weeks leave after a c-section is crazy!

MOMama987 · July 2013

Ugh. Sounds like a horrible situation, and I think you're smart to get out. I would hope that she'd maintain professionalism as a reference, but given her history, I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't. Can you avoid using her as a reference? I know at my company, we CAN'T use them as a reference if we leave - it's their policy. They can only confirm previous employment. Hopefully you can use your exam results, degree, and perhaps personal / professional references (I"d consider law school professors / internship advisors ? to be professional references) to speak for you

snowgirl427 · July 2013

Not sure what state you live in but in FL they can't give a negative recommendation. All they can say is if they would or would not hire you again.

This situation really stinks and I feel for you. On the bright side you aren't in a bind and being a SAHM for a while is an option. You can enjoy this time with your LO while getting ready for #2!

Good luck! And while its hard I wouldn't worry about your bosses reaction to your leaving. Give your two weeks and don't look back. Personally, in my letter of resignation I would include the reasons for leaving that you outlined here. Just mail it factual, leaving out any emotion.

MOMama987 · July 2013

jayro10 said:

You probably know better than I do, but is there some sort of legal recourse in there? Seems like a lot of discrimination going on! And only getting 6 weeks leave after a c-section is crazy!

Ditto this. I would think there would be grounds for some kind of medical leave - even if it was unpaid.

TradeMama · July 2013

Thanks everyone for your input. I'm considering starting my own business once my non-compete period is up.

annagrya · July 2013

No advice but I feel for you. If you do end up quitting it might be a blessing to be able to stay home with your babies for a while. I hope the situation gets better!