Why Are Women Mean to Their Pregnant Peers?

TrueBeliever925 · July 2013

https://familiesintheloop.com/new-and-noteworthy/15000/women-mean-to-women-pregnancy/

It's interesting to hear from the male point of view and I agree on his comments... but I also can't help but think of the DDs who come here asking for advice and then whine when everyone tells them to google it or they get a response they don't like.

I'd smack someone if they ever said any of those comments the author mentioned.

mochalattemama · July 2013

I feel like in public people are extra rude to me now that I am obviously pregnant. I've been wondering what that's all about.

TurtleMomma · July 2013

But that doesn't explain why us pregnant women are so mean to other pregnant women, as our newbies like to point out over and over!

I will admit, reading that article, The Grinch song was playing in my head...

Soleil3 · July 2013

Ive never noticed people are mean to pregnant people. Pretty much everyone IRL seems to go out of their way to be nice.

lindsayanne14 · July 2013

I will admit to being surprised by the things people comment on, especially how big or small you are!

piperjayne · July 2013

I feel like I've been ridiculously lucky that I've never gotten any negative comments with either pregnancy. The only thing I did get was shock when I was pregnant with DS and went a week overdue and people would ask me when I was due. Whenever I'd say "three days ago" or whatever, they'd look at me like my water was going to break on the floor right then and there, haha.

But seriously, from all the comments from you guys and people I know in real life, I feel like I have been incredibly lucky that no one has said anything other than "When are you due?" "Do you know what you're having?" then maaaaaybe a comment about the gender. *knocks on wood* Now someone is probably going to make some horrible assface comment to me this week.

TrueBeliever925 · July 2013

lindsayanne79 said:

I will admit to being surprised by the things people comment on, especially how big or small you are!

I agree! It's either they are concerned because you are too big or too small. Who the heck are they comparing you to? And not to mention it's always older folks who haven't been pregnant for YEARS and YEARS (or their wives haven't).

I got yelled at by a 70+ year old woman (extended family member) who asked how much weight I had gained (overweight to begin with) and when I told her (I have NO idea why I answered it) she began to lecture me because it wasn't "enough" even though my doctor is fine with it.

TrueBeliever925 · July 2013

TurtleMomma said:

But that doesn't explain why us pregnant women are so mean to other pregnant women, as our newbies like to point out over and over! I will admit, reading that article, The Grinch song was playing in my head...

:-\" Boredom? or hormones? hilarity?

)

RoosterMemphis · July 2013

The only time I've ever had someone be rude to me was a guy that stole the Expecting Mothers parking space right as I was trying to turn into it. He also wouldn't move his car. I hopped out of my car and expressed my anger in the most appropriate way I could muster (I was completely inappropriate) and also complained to the manager, but that's the only time I've ever had anything crazy happen. People have made stupid comments on my size, but they meant well I'm sure.

magdalina.h · July 2013

Nope, never had anyone be mean to me. Well not intentionally. We have new co-workers that don't know I lost my first so they'll say stupid things, but not trying to be mean. Our society is just awkward so when people are trying to make conversation, it gets blown out of proportion OR they do say stupid things.

Texasmomma13 · July 2013

I love his suggested responses. I'll definitely have to keep those in mind the next 5 weeks or so. I have received the worst comments from strangers. I think those who know me probably know better. I can be a bit of a b*tch.

N_Koz · July 2013

The only one who has been completely out of line has been my mom. In my experience people just open their mouths and say words about 30 seconds before their brains catch up. That and all of the women I talk to aren't really interested in my answers they just want to tell their own pregnancy/birth stories

RoosterMemphis · July 2013

N_Koz said:

The only one who has been completely out of line has been my mom. In my experience people just open their mouths and say words about 30 seconds before their brains catch up. That and all of the women I talk to aren't really interested in my answers they just want to tell their own pregnancy/birth stories

this!! wow, I completely skipped my mom too. My mom has been especially awful as well. But she's more like a crazy person than anything else.

TrueBeliever925 · July 2013

N_Koz said:

The only one who has been completely out of line has been my mom. In my experience people just open their mouths and say words about 30 seconds before their brains catch up. That and all of the women I talk to aren't really interested in my answers they just want to tell their own pregnancy/birth stories

This too! My dads girlfriend (total b!tch anyway) decides to tell me all of her AMAZING birth stories and how all of them went SOOO smooth and perfect *barf!*. Then proceeds to ask what I've done in preparation (breathing techniques, stretches) and she proceeds to tell me I should just have a c-section.

Roseluv10 · July 2013

At 32 weeks I had a 300+lb lady ask me when I'm due--I told 8 more weeks to go. Her response : "it must be twins then!!!" Then I watched her shove her face full of cake and cookies which almost made me sick.

Erikaserenity84 · July 2013

I think most people have been nice since I've been PG but I agree that any rude comments I have gotten have been from women. One younger woman at work was asking me PG questions and then rudely said she doesn't care as long as I don't bring the baby around her. Rude much? First of all I own and run the coffee shop at the hospital. She comes for coffee occasionally but works in another building and registers patients. We have practically no contact and I felt her comment was off the wall. Like rude for the sake of being rude.

Cosmic+Love · July 2013

Erikaserenity84 said:

One younger woman at work was asking me PG questions and then rudely said she doesn't care as long as I don't bring the baby around her. Rude much?

Hmm. I would have said, "Why? Are you allergic to cuteness or awesomeness?"

Erikaserenity84 · July 2013

Cosmic+Love said:

Erikaserenity84 said:

One younger woman at work was asking me PG questions and then rudely said she doesn't care as long as I don't bring the baby around her. Rude much?

Hmm. I would have said, "Why? Are you allergic to cuteness or awesomeness?"

I wish my mind was quick with comebacks! That would've been perfect. It was the first time I felt that motherly need to protect my LO. That kind of rude attitude is not welcome around my Baby girl. So she'll never have to worry about even getting the privilege to see her!

NiksMama · July 2013

The worst comment ever made to me while pregnant was made by a 70 year old man while I was pregnant with my son. He came into my office and told me, in front of all my coworkers, that I needed to watch how much weight I gained because I wasn't little like the other girls in my office. That sh!t hurt.

Women can be nasty, but men aren't innocent either.

TrueBeliever925 · July 2013

NiksMama said:

The worst comment ever made to me while pregnant was made by a 70 year old man while I was pregnant with my son. He came into my office and told me, in front of all my coworkers, that I needed to watch how much weight I gained because I wasn't little like the other girls in my office. That sh!t hurt. Women can be nasty, but men aren't innocent either.

That's awful! Its true though, women aren't always the culprits. I remember someone mentioning a week or so ago that their male co-worker was guilty of comparing her to his wife. Luckily, the men in my life are much more cautious about asking questions or talking about pregnancy. Even DH hasn't made any comments that I'd make him take back.

Cosmic+Love · July 2013

Men, I think, just tend to be oblivious. There is this bank teller around my age that keeps comparing my pregnancy to his wife's - she gave birth last year. Last time I was in line, he asked me in front of everyone if I was planning to go without the epidural. Then he exclaimed that his wife was only in labor for 6 hours and she said that "labor wasn't as hard as everyone says it is".

I wanted to ask him for his wife's phone number for confirmation.

TrueBeliever925 · July 2013

Cosmic+Love said:

Men, I think, just tend to be oblivious. There is this bank teller around my age that keeps comparing my pregnancy to his wife's - she gave birth last year. Last time I was in line, he asked me in front of everyone if I was planning to go without the epidural. Then he exclaimed that his wife was only in labor for 6 hours and she said that "labor wasn't as hard as everyone says it is".
I wanted to ask him for his wife's phone number for confirmation.

) She must be Superwoman or extremely lucky? You should have asked!

emmaleigh05 · July 2013

I remember this coming up awhile ago with people judging your food and drink options. I used the witty comeback posted in that discussion today- gal behind me at Starbucks says something about my drink choice and I felt compelled to tell her it helps with constipation. Thought the barista was going to pass out laughing.

BlueJewelM · July 2013

Soleil3 said:

Ive never noticed people are mean to pregnant people. Pretty much everyone IRL seems to go out of their way to be nice.

this!

suv75 · July 2013

The manager at the store I went to buy mattresses from was the rudest. On my first visit he says to me "Do you know you have something growing in your front". Wtf? Next time I was with my DH and he says "i can't believe you are walking around like that" and turns to my DH and says "what did you do to her". Wow!

AprilRaine · July 2013

Ahhahahaha! I already get the gender one quite a bit (this is our second boy). I will absolutely be using that comeback in the future! Thanks for sharing!

Erikaserenity84 · July 2013

chattychiqa said:

"Oh that's fine. I have no desire to expose her to you anyway. You were on my stay away list... Actually you ARE the stay away list!!"

I hope she comes back just so I can say this!

Khaleesi07 · July 2013

The rudest thing someone has said to me was "Well I don't see a ring on your finger!!! Isn't MARRIAGE supposed to come before a BABY!!"

I barely know this man, we happen to work in the same building for different companies. I politely told him "Thankfully times have changed". And walked away. It wouldn't have been so pretty if I wasn't at work.

I do think that most people go out of their way to be nice to pregnant women, but there's always the occassional contrarian that has to smugly chime in with an assinine comment.