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Blessed but Stressed

colemangal85colemangal85 member
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months
Ok, I first have to say that I know without a doubt that I'm blessed. My MIL doesn't work so she can take care of my son almost whenever I need her but before my son was born - I was use to seeing my In Laws maybe once a week. A little back story, my family doesn't live here, they live 1600 miles away. 

So when my son was born, I needed help and my MIL was there to save the day but the older my son gets, the more time I have to spend with my MIL, and I have to say as much as I need her - it stresses me out! I think I'm a little resentful even because I know my family isn't here and it isn't her fault but I hate when she makes comments like it has been a whole week since I've seen my grandbaby and I'm like it has been 3 months since my family has seen him - give me a break! So anyways .... I hate feeling the way I do especially knowing that the situation will never really change - I'm always going to need help, my MIL is always going to be the best and free option and I need to get out of this rut of feeling bitter and stressed.

I also get stressed because I'm the one always asking for help when its not just me who needs it but her son (and my husband obviously) too. 

Anyone in a similar situation? Or am I just weird. 
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Re: Blessed but Stressed

  • colemangal85colemangal85 member
    It's not just the comment that makes me stressed - that just annoys me because every time she says it it reminds me that I miss my family and I want to go home. 

    What stresses me out is going from not needing anyone from needing people and constantly having to battle other peoples personalities and opinions and comments and never really being alone or on my own again. Like I said, I know I'm blessed so I am grateful but I hate feeling like I need help and I can't just go a day without it. 
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  • GrantHensonGrantHenson member

    I totally understand.  I love that my MIL is willing to help out (the 6 months that she is in the same city), but I think that it reminds me that my own mom who lives 15 min away is not offering to help all of the time.  For some reason my mom decided that when I had a baby was a good time to start school.

      I also think that its needing help at all that can be tough. 

      I think that it is normal to be annoyed and so glad to hear that you are feeling greatful as well.

     

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  • KisstyKissty member

    Chin up!  I know what you are going through and are having similar issues.  It feels much worse than it sounds. 

    Ok time for tough love: You're a mom now and will never be alone.  Every choice you make will impact not only you but your child as well.  If that means spending more time with the in-laws then so be it, so that your child can spend time with their grandparents who love them dearly.  Unfortunately they're only with us for a short time.  Bite your tongue, smile and let MIL help.  It could be much worse, she won't always be there.

    Remember that yes you are blessed.  So be a duck and let it roll off your back.

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  • monkeybutt61612monkeybutt61612 member
    The bump sucks ass
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  • JJ_13JJ_13 member
    I agree that it would be annoying - my MIL makes comments like that all the freaking time ("oh my gosh, it's been so long since I've seen my grandchild! She's not going to know who I am when she grows up unless I see her more!"... for the love of God, give me a break!). It annoys me to no end, but luckily it is just talk and, in actions, she's not actually intrusive and DH and I are on the same page about grandparents' involvement so I just try not to let it stress me out. It's not worth it.
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  • heather3879heather3879 member
    I am feeling the same way! My MIL watches K while I'm at work, and when I come home and see her car in the driveway, I want to scream! I am so glad to have a family member watching her, but everything she says and does drives me crazy. The worst is when MIL is around my mom and wants to show off how well she knows K and makes my mom feel bad that she can't do more. Actually, the worst is when she tries to tell ME things about DD, like I don't know my own kid. I think it's fair to vent! People not in the same can't understand.

     

     

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