Communicating with DH

designer303 · July 2013

DH and I have been having massive communication problems pretty much since DS was born. I have attributed it to us both being tired, stressed, etc. I am starting to worry more now, because it seems like we can end up in a huge fight over the dumbest things and the really stupid part is that neither one of us wants to fight, but we misinterept what each other is saying or assume the other means something different and then it blows up. We have sat down and talked about it and we agree to try to be better and not assume the other person is being mean or hurtful and just try to stay calm and talk things through. Then last night we had another blow up, comptely silly topic and no reason to fight, but we were talking through plans to vist Dh's grandma and he wants to stay at her house for one night during a week long vacation - sleeping arrangments will be horrible and so I asked if maybe it wouldnt be okay for us to stay at hotel that night as well, he said I was being selfish and then I lost it. Something about being called selfish on a day where at 5am I got up with DS who's sleep is all messed up again, got him ready, took him to school, went to work, worked a full day, picked up DS from school, ran errands including buying beer for Dh's boy's night tonight, cleaned up the house, fed Ds, bathed DS and got Ds ready and into bed. Dh had a work dinner so he got home just as I was putting DS down for the night. I was just starting to eat my dinner (salad I grabbed while running errands) and then convo started and so did the fight. I feel like I need to stop sharing my real feelings and just smile and nod, I know that isnt what Dh wants me to do, but I just cant stand the fighting anymore. Guess I am just wondering if anyone one else has problems like this and if you found a way to actually get past the stupid fights.

Jmcmahon21 · July 2013

I think we had this issue sometimes after DS was first born, the stress of being new parents is rough. I think sitting down and talking has always been the best way we get through things. Also, I've found that when you talk to men, to actually get through to them you basically have to talk monotone and not raise your voice otherwise they shut down and don't listen. That's the way it is with my dad and DH so I'm trying to learn to communicate better with them, but really I want to scream

I hope it gets better, maybe a date night would be a good idea so you can both reconnect.

-T- · July 2013

I second the date night idea. We have had some major communication issues too, so you're not alone. We both have so much going on that it's tough to make time for each other. Honestly, I don't like to spend time alone with DH. I would much rather spend time as a family. So many people have said to make sure you do spend time alone, so I'm thinking that it is more important than I realize.

designer303 · July 2013

Thanks Ladies, good to know we arent the only having these silly spats- date night is probably a good idea

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