How much does your LO's opinion matter?

mommymegan831 · July 2013

My LOs were going to a blue school. It was ok, but I didn't get the sense that DD was really learning much, she never once in the 7 months she was there came home with anything other than scribbles or something glued to a piece of paper. The thing that bothered me the most was that DS would be moving to a room soon where there wasn't a changing table, so every time a child needed to be changed the whole class had to go across the hall, and the teacher just seems sort of off. I found a school near our home, the green school. I brought DD twice and she seemed very interested in the toys. They have a set curriculum, there are lots of arts of crafts on the wall, it's in general brighter and cleaner than the blue school. I also like its near home rather than near work so other people can help out if they get sent home sick.

I'm home for the summer so both kids are home with me. When I talk about school DD says she doesn't want to go. I'm starting to get it through to her that after summer she goes to school, but she keeps saying she doesn't want to go to her green school, she wants to go to her blue school. It's breaking my heart. How much would you listen to your 3 year old. I'll send her for 2 weeks 2 days a week before they're there full time. I'm thinking if she still prefers the blue school then I'll switch them back. What would you do?

SunAndRain · July 2013

Quality of education is important. I wouldn't keep my child in a place they were miserable but I'm thinking she'll get over it.

honeybee111 · July 2013

I will take DD's opinion into account for some things, but for this, I wouldn't give in. You're the adult - you know what's best for your kid at this point in terms of education, so I'd go with the better school. I also think she'll get over it once she settles in. Heck, my DD screamed/cried for 2 weeks straight when she started preschool. Now, she loves it, and tells me how much she misses school(she's on summer break).

laurakaz13 · July 2013

I would not take a 3 year olds opinion into account for her education (or much else to be honest). We go through this with DD every time she moves up into a new class, then a few weeks into it she loves it.

Pips09 · July 2013

Estwd2 said:

I would take a teenager's opinion into account when choosing schools, but certainly not a three year old's.

I agree with this. You're the parent, and you know best.

cecilyandgautam · July 2013

I'm guessing that your 3 year old enjoys her old school and looks forward to seeing her friends again; the new school is unknown and therefore a bit scary. I remember changing schools after 1st grade and wanting to stay at my old (inferior) school just because I had no idea what to expect with the new one. Just keep talking to your child about her concerns, that she can still see her old friends, and that new experiences can be a bit scary but also exciting. As long as she feels like you care about her feelings, I'm sure she'll be fine.

DiveFrog · July 2013

I agree with al lthe pp..As the parent you choose the school/education. that is a non-negotiable.

However, if she is having a difficult time with the thought of going to the new school, I would give her some choices about getting ready. In other words, let her pick out a new backpack and lunch bag. Let her pick out a new outfit for her first day. And I would dig deep into why she doesn't want to go. At three she should be able to tell you a bit more...is she upset about leavingher friends? Assure her she could still see them/play with them on the weekends, or special occasions like inviting them to her birthday party. Is she scared about meeting new kids/teacher? Assure her there will be new kids just like her, and maybe coach her on how she can introduce herself to new kids. Remind her how much fun she had, and how much she liked the school when you visited. They had xx toy and you liked y, remember?

Finally you mentioned that being closer to home will allow for others to be available to help out if and pick the kids up if they end up sick. Is it possible to see if the family or friends you are referring to would be interested in picking her up or taking her to school once a week. She might see that as something to look forward to.enjoy about being at a new school. "Yeah! Wednesdays Grandpa picks me up from school" kind of thing.

Good Luck. I hope tings go smoothly in a few weeks.

EastCoastBride · July 2013

Yeah - to follow on the others, I take DSs opinion into account when it comes to "do you want to go do __ today?", or "We can go to __ or ___ for dinner. Which would you prefer?" etc.

But on topics like education? Um, no. I'm the decider on this. Your 3 yr old doesn't have the decision making skills or the concept of "bigger picture" to be able to make a decision like this.

cedenton · July 2013

Pretty much what everyone else says. Is there anyway to start letting her visit and she can start making friends? I'd talk it up a lot and maybe drive by and show it to her and maybe show her the playground (I assume they have one) and talk about how cool it is.

aglenn · July 2013

We went through this with DD when we switched centers in the spring. I used it as an opening to talk about her feeling sad to leave her friends and how it is difficult to make new friends. She did still say she wanted to go back to her old school for the first few weeks until she found her groove with the new classroom, but she is fine now and loves her new school. I think your DD is just sad and nervous, as one of the pps suggested. That's a totally normal reaction and it's OK to talk about that with her.

Mjmksb04 · July 2013

With a 3 year old? Not much. Not that I wouldn't want my child to be happy, but at that age, they are usually most comfortable with what they are accustomed to, whcih doesn't always translate to what is best for them. I wouldn't worry about it and frankly, I would stop talking about the new school until right before the school year begins. Continually bringing it up probably causes her to be anxious about the change.

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