Sorry...need to vent!

mcgeeva · July 2013

So..nothing like starting the morning off boiling pissed. I get a text this morning from my brother complaining about my parents because they must of chewed him a new one last night. I should start off by giving a back story..

My brother and his wife (most selfish person I have ever met) had a baby last November. The baby has scabs all over her body, rashes everywhere (past the point of eczema) and every time I see her I ask has she gone to a allergist yet. Every time same answer, no we are too busy. She is 9 months and the size of a 3 month baby. Barely eats anything and is miserable all the time ripping her clothes off due to being uncomfortable. I saw her this past weekend because my brother stopped by with the baby by himself complaining he feels like he is a single dad for the past month because his wife is too busy looking for another job. My brother was never the guys that wanted a pet, hates responsibilities nor kids. He has really bad crohnes disease and I still to this day remember him saying he didn’t want kids due to his own issues. Like everything else he gives into his wife. Gets a dog..sells it 4 days later its too much work for him and his wife is too busy to walk it etc. Shocking but not really.

Anyways..its been over 6 months of this child looking like this and being miserable. I go off on Saturday night when he leaves that it is unacceptable neither can take the time to take her to the doctor and just pass it off like there is nothing wrong with her. They put random creams on her and that is it. My cousin even told them who is a pediatric nurse practitioner at children’s hospital and sees this stuff all the time and said that the baby needed to be tested because she thought she had a specific allergy/issue . Nothing came of it of course. So finally the baby was going to an allergist yesterday and my father offered to take the baby since my brother was complaining daycare was too far to go to after the apt. His wife decided interviews are more important and cant be bothered so of course my brother makes the decision to cancel the baby’s appointment and just schedule for a month later and tells no one. My dad missed a full day of work ( he just layed off a bunch of people and is short staffed so it’s a big deal for him to be off) and my brother doesn’t even tell him. So now the baby is waiting another month when she is suffering and my parents are pissed.

First off my husband and I live in va and everyone else is in MD so we don’t see my family that often. I am one pissed that he has the nerve to get mad at my parents who took off work for him to take his kid to the doctor and then disgusted at the fact that him and his wife do not think their child is a priority. It may not have been my place but I went off on him as well that there is no excuse to take off work to get your hair done or go on interviews but you can’t take your kid to the doctors. His wife claims she can’t take time off because she is saving it for interviews..sorry that is fd up right there alone. I love my brother but I am so mad at the situation. I told him I don’t want to see his baby anymore until she is not suffering anymore. It’s too much to be around and people act like everything is fine then complain she doesn’t sleep at night. Wonder why?!!

Sorry for the long long long story. What the hell am I to do? Should I just take time off work myself and drive to md to take her to the doctor? I don’t want her to suffer anymore but I also feel like they have to be adults as some point.

mcgeeva · July 2013

I should also add...my brother and I were both allergic to milk..which makes me still believe its a milk allergy.

mcgeeva · July 2013

No it's not a joke. That's the worst part. Two months ago we went to the beach and my brother showed up with a baby for the night and I called my mom because I was so stressed out about his baby. She was pulling her little onsie off trying to scratch at her neck and using her feet to scratch her legs it horrible to see. He ended up leaving at 11 that night because he knew she was going to be up at night. But they don't seem to listen to anyone. I don't know what worse..people being too lazy and selfish to take time out of their schedule to deal with the issue or the fact they think she is cute she is so tiny.

Dragonfly1226 · July 2013

Oh my - how heart breaking. That poor little baby! I don't know what you can do besides continuing to tell your brother how despicable this is. I am assuming you do not want to call CPS on your brother? What you are describing sounds like neglect. Stories like this make me so angry! There are plenty of ladies on the IF board who would be thrilled to have that baby and take such good care of him.

mcgeeva · July 2013

No I don't. I love him I am just disappointed that no one sees it as a big deal. I also don't want to be that terrible judging person. It's just been going on so long I can understand because if it was ds I would be going to the doc the day of or after if something was off. So now if I have said my peace do I leave it be especially since my parents have let them know how angry they are as well? Sticky situation to say the least.

mcgeeva · July 2013

Question then...how can you tell someone there is a difference between an allergy needing to see a specialist over it being just eczema?

Mr. & Mrs. Woodtick · July 2013

I am so sorry that you family is in this situation. If it were me and this was my brother, I would likely take a day off and take her to the doctor myself. I understand it is not your responsibility, but there is no way I could continue to watch a child suffer. Does this child go to well baby checkups? Is her normal pedi not concerned about her skin?

mcgeeva · July 2013

Well that's the problem. She goes to the well appointments with my brother who can't seem to ever remember exactly what was talked about. So I have told them many times before whenever I was asking about her skin that if the pediatrician is the issue to see a new one. But now im not so sure if it's my brother handling this appointments and not paying attention or the doctor as well. But there were told to go see a specialist and given the written authorization to do so. I move in two weeks so I can't take off any time until after since it will be a day drip for me. But after for sure if she still has not gone. I am hoping they will surprise me and do what they need to do.

mcgeeva · July 2013

Well on the positive my parents told him they would take her again but there is no cancelling of any appointments and were told to get there priorities straight. So we shall see.

mdiblasi10 · July 2013

How awful

I cannot handle to see a baby suffering either. I hope that she gets in to the doctor with your parents as soon as possible.

imoverit · July 2013

This makes me so sad. It really needs to come from them to get something done though which is the hard part. Too bad you couldnt threaten them with CPS.

mcgeeva · July 2013

Well between my parents and myself we will make sure something is done. I think this was the final straw for everyone

Mr. & Mrs. Woodtick · July 2013

Well if she is going to her well baby appointments I hope her pedi is taking note of their neglect of her medical issues. Does your brother not care about his kid? How does he not pay attention to her dr? Does her daycare not say anything?

mcgeeva · July 2013

I have no answers for those questions. Only my brother takes her to her appointments. His wife picks her up from daycare and I know daycare has sent her home when her scabs start bleeding etc. But nothing else or they just haven't told our family anything else. I am not sure why he doesn't pay attention. I'm not sure if they both don't care to listen or what. No clue. So what's the obvious for everyone else..not so much for them.

Mr. & Mrs. Woodtick · July 2013

I think it is just so hard for people who tried so hard to have children (at least for me anyway) to see parents being so cavalier about the health and welfare of their child. I am sorry you have to witness this.

mcgeeva · July 2013

Oh no trust me I feel the same way. I feel so blessed for him every day and only want the best for my son. But I also do think there are a lot of people that have kids for the wrong reasons and do not treat their children as the most important things in their life above all else.

Dragonfly1226 · July 2013

Mr. & Mrs. Woodtick said:

I think it is just so hard for people who tried so hard to have children (at least for me anyway) to see parents being so cavalier about the health and welfare of their child. I am sorry you have to witness this.

This is exactly how I feel.

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