One & Done: Only child

Freezing sperm/eggs if O&D?

I was surprised this came up from talk with DH about a vasectomy. He's is worried that if god forbid something happened to DD we might decide we want another.  I can't even fathom that but I can see his point.  However, they are reversible and if that is what will make him feel secure I guess it is OK on the other hand it feels a bit weird to think he'd have sperm out there somewhere.  Anyone else had this talk or done this?

Re: Freezing sperm/eggs if O&D?

  • This is interesting because we talked about this after the fact. I told him that maybe we should have looked into something like that just in case we both had a -drastic- change of heart. It was something we shrugged off.

    The only thing is- what if IVF/insemination didnt work and you ran out? It's not like backup is a sterile cup away. Ive never been down that road so maybe that wouldnt be an issue, but I would think if we got that ball rolling, I would need a baby. 

     

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  • We did not discuss this, specifically, but this is one of the reasons why I had a tubal ligation.  We had to do IVF to get pregnant, so having my tubes tied wouldn't change that for us.  Whereas, DH having a vasectomy would make getting to his sperm more difficult. 

    If this is a big enough concern for you and/or your DH, perhaps something like an IUD would be a better form of birth control since it is long term, but not permanent.  FWIW, if I were younger and/or hadn't had the medical complications I had, I might not have so readily gotten my tubes tied. 

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  • imageM&MHaveMyHeart:

    Never even thought about that.

    It kills me to even think about but if anything ever happened like that, I don't think I would want another kid, honestly. 

    This, I hate to even think things like this :(

    But no.. personally, H and I would not want another child if this happened.  We "timed" things so I was in my mid 20's when we had her.  I'll be 34 in a few weeks, and there is NO WAY I would EVER start over.  Part of the reason we are OAD is because I honestly don't care for the newborn stage.  So I simply won't go there again, we would remain without kid.

    E+C
    (+ hers and his, ages 13 & 8)
    TTC
  • Like a lot of PP's this is not something we even considered.  He hasn't had the big V yet, but we are on our way.  I honestly don't think I would take the time and expense.

    I don't want another baby, and that's not going to change if the most terrible thing in the entire world happens and I lose my girl.  


    image
    C is 3 years old

  • After my parents had me, my dad got "fixed" and they adopted my brother.  People asked them that- what if something happened to ME?  Wouldn't they want another bio child?

    They were both like "Nothing could replace her".

    And I feel the same.  Ds is DS.  He's not just "a kid" to us.  If something happened...  I don't see how having another child would fix anything. 

    Plus - some of our reasons for being OAD would still exist.  I'm 43!  I'm not having another child at this point.  For ANY reason!

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • imageEastCoastBride:

    After my parents had me, my dad got "fixed" and they adopted my brother.  People asked them that- what if something happened to ME?  Wouldn't they want another bio child?

    They were both like "Nothing could replace her".

    And I feel the same.  Ds is DS.  He's not just "a kid" to us.  If something happened...  I don't see how having another child would fix anything. 

    Plus - some of our reasons for being OAD would still exist.  I'm 43!  I'm not having another child at this point.  For ANY reason!

    Thank you! I think having another child would at least take away the part of not loosing the only person on the planet you love as much as you love your child, but that doesnt even compare to the loss of child as a whole.

     

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  • I wasn't suggesting (nor is DH) that we would replace DD -- but rather that we might change our minds about having another.  There is only one DD and nothing changes that.

     

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