Screaming/ demanding toddler. Need advice. Timeouts?

ChelsiAnn13 · July 2013

So for the past few weeks my DD has been increasingly loud. She is screaming when she protests and has also been more loud when she is happy or playing, it's just been an increase of volume over all. She is also getting more into the mine stage and is getting more demanding. I want to nip this in the bud so she knows this behavior is not acceptable.

For example: she was holding her fish crackers and wanted to go on Nana's bed with them. Nana said no because they could get to messy. She started to really scream at Nana. I was so taken aback because this bratty behavior is not like her I immediately got to my knees, held her hands and told her that screaming was not an appropriate response. She stopped screaming right away and began talking normally but I asked her to apologize before she grabbed a toy and started to play, which she did.
This is just a very small example and the screaming/ demanding and every now and then hitting has been increasing.

I understand the tantrums, she isn't old enough to process her emotions well, but this isn't tantrums its getting to be more bratty so I feel something like a time out needs to be put in place.

Do you feel a time out is a good method to handle this? How do you do time outs? I was thinking about getting a literal spot that I can easily roll up and take with me.
Do you use / recommend a different tactic and if so what?

TIA an sorry that was so long.

mamajames · July 2013

I feel time outs are great. I hate to admit it, but I use super nanny's method. Where you give the child a warning and then if they continue with the behavior they go to a designated time out spot. I use the stairs. For every yr of age is how many minutes they sit there. Set a timer so you don't forget. Then when times up, go over, get down to their level and explain again why they were put in time out. Ask them to apologize, when they do give hugs and kisses and go on about your day.

When they're older you can ask them if they know why they were placed in time out.

The important part and some times hardest is staying calm. I'm not gona lie and say I've never raised my voice to my kids cuz I have, but I find the time out is most effective when you keep your cool.

ECT2012 · July 2013

We haven't tried time out yet, but do plan on it when it seems necessary.

To PP - when you say that you use the stairs as time out, does your child just stay there when you tell them it's time out? Do you sit there with them? How do you make them stay there for a minute for every year of age? At some point it seems like it becomes a power struggle to make them stay there for that long...

ChelsiAnn13 · July 2013

Thank you. I honestly liked super nannys method and it seems to work. That is what I will do then. Thank you.

mamajames · July 2013

ECT2012:
We haven't tried time out yet, but do plan on it when it seems necessary.
To PP - when you say that you use the stairs as time out, does your child just stay there when you tell them it's time out? Do you sit there with them? How do you make them stay there for a minute for every year of age? At some point it seems like it becomes a power struggle to make them stay there for that long...

That's where the keeping your cool part comes in handy and becomes most challenging lol. You place the child in time out and tell them you will tell them when the are done in time out, then walk away. If they get up you put them back and start the timer over again. My niece is 20 mo and she kept miss behaving when I was watching her. Her parents don't really discipline so it was a challenge and took me putting her back on her butt 6 times but she realized Auntie meant business and eventually she stayed.

LatteLady5 · July 2013

I wouldn't say she's bratty, she just doesn't know how to express her emotions. DD does the same thing sometimes but just getting down on her level and telling her something like "DD, screaming at Nana is not acceptable. If you continue you will go to time out" usually stops the behavior. We've done timeout since about 16ish months. She sits on the bottom step of the stairs for two minutes or less.She's only every gotten up out of timeout once when she was still learning she needed to sit.

I also think it's important to know what you'll use timeout for. I don't use it for everything. If she throws herself on the ground and gets mad because I won't let her have/do something, she goes to timeout. If she's just loud and upset because I can't understand what she's saying, I try to figure it out. That's not really timeout worthy IMO. I also like using some logical consequences as well. For instance if she throws or hits her dolls she gets a warning, if she does it again, I take the doll away.

In the example you listed, I wouldn't have put her in timeout. She stopped screaming and apologized. If she would have continued, I would have done timeout.

ChelsiAnn13 · July 2013

I agree because she stopped she wouldn't have needed a time out.

I have such a great child and I completely agree and understand that a lot of it is struggling with her emotions. My mom is a teacher and is home for the summer and has been spending a lot of time catering to her and I'm afraid she is getting a little spoiled. I suppose that's where my fear she could be getting a little bratty from. Plus, like I said, she is so good that its surprising to me.

What do you think about this situation:

She was painting my nails and when it was time to clean up she got a little upset that we had to stop and really started to throw a fit when DH wiped down her hands. She of course went to my mom who wanted to get her to stop crying. It resulted in my mom pulling out painting materials which just seemed to overwhelm her. I finally said it was enough and DD opted to get out of her chair. She then went whining to my mom again who asked if she wanted juice but when my mom went to get it with her it made her flip out. ( that's they way I saw it/ it was explained to me because I was still cleaning up. ) she wouldn't calm down even when I tried to get her to channel her frustration, she just kept trying to feed off of my moms babying. I finally told my mom to leave the room and made her sit on the love seat and ignored her tantrum for a minute, I suppose like a time out, then asked her to calm down. She did, but was having some trouble, so I sat with her and talked with her until she calmed down.

I was calm but inside I was kind of shaken up because she doesn't do things like that often so I wasn't sure f I was handling it right...

cecilyandgautam · July 2013

I'm a huge fan of time outs but in the example you give - your less than 2 year old screamed out of excitement and then correct herself when you asked her to - I would not give a time out. I find that some combination of explaining what is appropriate and nicely asking DD to behave appropriately handles 99% of behavior problems at this age. I know each kid's different, but it sounds like what you did worked - so I would stick with that.

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Screaming/ demanding toddler. Need advice. Timeouts?

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