feeling like a failure today

hrhone328 · July 2013

Maybe sleep deprivation has got me feeling this way, but I am just feeling like a failure at mommying today. I feel so guilty for having to be at work and leaving LO. She is being watched by my SIL, but I still can't help but feel guilty. My milk supply has been slowly going down... I have a hard enough time getting enough for 3 feedings from pumping 4 times. She's been having to supplement with a couple of oz of formula which is making me feel like a big fat failure! Breastfeeding for the first year has been really important to me, but I am worried I don't have the supply to keep up. I've been eating oatmeal everyday and lots of protein and had been hoping to put off taking fenugreek (since I've heard it makes you gassy and smell weird), but I think I might have to start it. And now I think LO is either going through a growth spurt or starting the 4 mo wakeful. She has been waking up at least once a night since the end of last week and last night she was up about 4 times!

Sigh... maybe just a mommy have a rough day here.

tnabrd · July 2013

I hate those days!! a friend once told me that if you don't feel guilty then you aren't a mom. Leaving your little one with a sitter just makes seeing her at the end of the day that much more fun, it teaches you to appreciate each other, or so i have been told. I live in a small town and there is only daycare during school so my man has been coming to work with me, i am looking forward to the days when we can appreciate each other more! I too am trying to go a year with breastmilk, i do not know anyone who has done this so now it is a challenge. Noah only gets breast milk two times a day now, i can not keep up. After you get over that initial failure feeling because you can not feed your child you feel a million times better, and your production goes up. stress is a major factor so worring all the time about it just makes it worse. Noah gets formula for his snacks, four ounces at nine and three. I only give him four because formula takes longer to digest. when he wakes up at six he usually drinks a little over six ounces of breast milk. at lunch he gets four ounces of breast milk and fruit with cereal. then his formula snack and then for supper he gets breast milk and more solids. have you started her on solids yet? that is another way to keep her full longer, Noah started at four months, mostly because i couldnt keep up. good luck!! i have never heard of fenugreek but if it is a chemical dont do it!! good luck mommy!! you are doing great

hrhone328 · July 2013

Fenugreek is just an herbal supplement. It's highly recommended for increasing supply. We're not starting solids until 6 months when we are going to start baby led weaning. We want to try and avoid purees. She's not quite 4 months, so I think it's still a little early either way. But I think you're right about letting the guilt go! And definitely right about guilt coming with being a mom!

Jcat123 · July 2013

You're not a failure! I haven't started working again (I'm a school teacher), but am already feeling bad for leaving my LO. We need the money though and I keep telling myself that every spare minute I will try and spend it with her.

I have used fenugreek and didn't have any side effects. It didn't increase my supply though either. I struggled with bfeeding and had to start supplementing because my LO wasn't growing and I really wasn't producing much no matter what I did. LO also had a bad latch which hurt my supply as well. Finally after a lot of stress and guilt, I gave up when she was 6 weeks. I really wanted to bfeed until I went back to work at least, but sometimes things don't work out as planned. I am a much happier mommy now though and a lot less stressed. Do what's right for you and baby. And don't feel bad!

megc051779 · July 2013

You're not a failure! Any amount of breastmilk is great so be proud of what you are providing!!! I had a problem with my supply dropping as well so we cut out LO's lunch, replacing that with BF, and I started taking Golacta supplements as well as More Milk Plus from Motherlove. Golacta is great, capsules that taste a bit like tea. More milk plus contains fenugreek, and if you do take it I'd highly recommend a pill instead of the liquid, it is the worst tasting thing I've ever had. Truly horrible. I haven't noticed it making me gassy, but I don't take much of it, I did however notice my underarms starting to smell a bit like it, but I sweat like a beast! Good luck and keep it up mommy!

MrsWindyCity · July 2013

You are not a failure. BFing is HARD and pumping is hard, too. With DS1, we had to start supplementing around 6 months and although I was upset about it at first, it ended up being a HUGE stress reliever. If I was a couple oz. short with pumping, it wasn't a big deal. If he was extra hungry at daycare that day, it wasn't a big deal. Like 95% of his calories were still coming from BM so he was getting all the benefits. Right now DS2 is still EBF/has pumped milk at daycare, but I'm barely making it, so we'll probably have to give him a little formula eventually and I'm so much more laid back about it this time around. There comes a point when killing yourself to keep up just isn't worth it.

skidderdo · July 2013

Whatever the amount, your LO IS getting the benefits of having BM in his diet, and that is something to be very proud of. Keep it up mama, you and your LO are still getting tons of benefits from breastfeeding!

hrhone328 · July 2013

Thanks for the boost of confidence, ladies! I sure need it today. I definitely just need to realize that anything I'm doing for LO is right. Some breastmilk is better than no breastmilk!

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