How did you tell your boss?

Paddlefisher · July 2013

By now many/most of the Dec '13 moms have probably told their bosses at work. Please share your ideas - what worked & didn't about negotiating, describing how you thought your work might be covered while on leave(especially if you had ideas for covering parts of your job, but not all of it). I had planned to tell at 22 weeks, but probably going to tomorrow or Thursday because of boss' vacation schedule.

TXmamatobe · July 2013

I'm only asking this because I really want to know. I keep seeing posts where maternity leave is being negotiated. What is there to negotiate? Are these companies that aren't covered by FMLA?

Good luck telling your boss.

MelAnnDi · July 2013

I had to tell a while ago since my OB office scehdule was crazy in the beginning and making me go in every two weeks because the testing and regular appointments were on wrong weeks...

I had to tell her I wasnt dying, since I had to leave early and to go to the dr every other week.

I have nothing to negotiate, and work for a large company, so they hire temps to cover people.

Whitterpow · July 2013

TXmamatobe:
I'm only asking this because I really want to know. I keep seeing posts where maternity leave is being negotiated. What is there to negotiate? Are these companies that aren't covered by FMLA?
Good luck telling your boss.

I thought that was odd too. My short term disability and FMLA basically make mine pretty set between 6 and 12 weeks, but I choose how much in between. On the question, it really depends on the boss. I know my boss pretty well and know that he is uncomfortable with these sorts of conversations so I sent it in an email, but I did it very early because I felt more notice was better given my position and duties. You just have to feel out the situation and decide what way is best for your boss. I basically told mine I had just recently found out but wanted to give him plenty of notice so we could complete any large projects and do any training that needed to be done prior to my leave.

EmJacks0n · July 2013

TXmamatobe:
I'm only asking this because I really want to know. I keep seeing posts where maternity leave is being negotiated. What is there to negotiate? Are these companies that aren't covered by FMLA? Good luck telling your boss.

The smaller companies don't have to follow the three month FMLA if the number of employees is under below a certain amount. (I've read 50 & 100 so I am not really sure which.) I'm also in that boat. My boss and office manager said in the 25+ years, they've never had a woman be pregnant. So they are talking to their accountant, their lawyer, and their insurance rep and will "get back to me" this Thursday... I told them over a month ago. They are by far the slowest moving, least caring bunch. I told them right off the bat I need three months. Whether or not they try to screw me over is up to them. I think they will definitely try to screw me over.

tattooedtragedy · July 2013

I ended up telling my boss a few weeks earlier than I had planned because I was sick every day the first trimester. I just scheduled a meeting with her towards the end of the day and told her that I wasn't fighting the plague Smile

She knew that we had been thinking about trying for baby #2 and was very supportive and happy for me. She was also very understanding about not wanting anyone else in the office to know for a while longer.

Recently, due to some other drama around the office, she has been asking leading questions about whether or not I intend to return after my leave. I've found that if you are even thinking about not returning it is best to keep that info to yourself. I do plan on returning but I will say as little as possible on the subject while I can.

My company has to follow FMLA policies so I don't have anything to negotiate- at some point I will have to tell her about how much time I think I will take.

Good luck breaking the news to your boss.

natleilynn · July 2013

I had to tell my boss because I was puking in the bathroom when another VP walked in. I didn't want any other rumors going around so I figured I would just tell her and get it over with.

I did have it a little easier though - I hadn't told her about my previous pregnancy. She found out the day I found out I was miscarrying because I was going to have to be out for awhile. Because of that, she understood that I'd be at the doctor more than normal.

Either way, I'm the first baby in that office in about 10 years so they're beyond excited. The first thing out of nearly every woman's mouth is how excited they are for the baby shower. Score one for a supportive office!

KelseyKetchum · July 2013

I just started my job and I was already about 3 months along. I told my boss after a month of work mainly because I wanted to prove I could do my job pregnant as well as anyone else. She was supportive I am taking of December 9 to February 10. Later down the road hr is coming in to talk about fmla and all that.

mommascircus3 · July 2013

My boss found out from the "rumor" going around work but I'm an LNA and pretty much had to tell everyone early because of the risk of the job wih certain people we take care of she was so happy for me and ran and gave me a big hug now every time I see her she just keeps asking if I know what I'm having yet she's very happy for me

Paddlefisher · July 2013

TXmamatobe:
I'm only asking this because I really want to know. I keep seeing posts where maternity leave is being negotiated. What is there to negotiate? Are these companies that aren't covered by FMLA? Good luck telling your boss.

I responded to this question on the previous thread of similar topic.

notkateanymore · July 2013

Cashingn2:
ColeRose:
Paddlefisher:
TXmamatobe:
I'm only asking this because I really want to know. I keep seeing posts where maternity leave is being negotiated. What is there to negotiate? Are these companies that aren't covered by FMLA? Good luck telling your boss.

I responded to this question on the previous thread of similar topic.
Huh? You made a post and PP has a question, why not just answer it?
Bc apparently we all read her reply on the other thread. Don't you know?

And if the other thread is similar why did she start a new one.

I also don't understand what there is to negotiate...most companies have policies, even if not covered by FMLA.

Paddlefisher · July 2013

ColeRose:
Cashingn2:
ColeRose:
Paddlefisher:
TXmamatobe:
I'm only asking this because I really want to know. I keep seeing posts where maternity leave is being negotiated. What is there to negotiate? Are these companies that aren't covered by FMLA? Good luck telling your boss.

I responded to this question on the previous thread of similar topic.
Huh? You made a post and PP has a question, why not just answer it?
Bc apparently we all read her reply on the other thread. Don't you know?
OP you can't even check your post history because you have it set to private just FYI.

Thank you! Maybe that's why I can't find it either to give a link to it.

Paddlefisher · July 2013

Cashingn2:
Paddlefisher:
TXmamatobe:
I'm only asking this because I really want to know. I keep seeing posts where maternity leave is being negotiated. What is there to negotiate? Are these companies that aren't covered by FMLA? Good luck telling your boss.

I responded to this question on the previous thread of similar topic.
So it's too much effort to explain again? Bc not everyone read the other thread. If you want to link the other thread in here, I'd go read it but telling us you responded to that question in another thread is not helpful when I have no idea which thread you're talking about. Eta: I actually would have asked this same question but saw that TX had asked so I waited for your answer.

I tried to find the post, but the search function is giving me nonesense. Not super tech savvy.

The short version of the previous response was:

* I work for an FMLA employer;

* Our HR manual indicates you can take "up to" 12 weeks, but basically, it has to be something both you and your boss agree to. <- negotiating

* Hoping to take 8 weeks off full time, and then some partial weeks. <-negotiating

Paddlefisher · July 2013

ColeRose:
Paddlefisher:
ColeRose:

OP you can't even check your post history because you have it set to private just FYI.
Thank you! Maybe that's why I can't find it either to give a link to it.
No problem! The privacy setting shouldn't affect your own viewing, but if it was more than a few posts ago you won't be able to see it either unfortunately.

The post was 2 or 3 weeks ago. What's the best way to find it, do you think?

Paddlefisher · July 2013

ColeRose:
Paddlefisher:
ColeRose:
Paddlefisher:
ColeRose:

OP you can't even check your post history because you have it set to private just FYI.
Thank you! Maybe that's why I can't find it either to give a link to it.
No problem! The privacy setting shouldn't affect your own viewing, but if it was more than a few posts ago you won't be able to see it either unfortunately.

The post was 2 or 3 weeks ago. What's the best way to find it, do you think?
If you remember who posted it or the title of the post I would try google. I think it works way better than the crappy bump search function. After the changes tomorrow night you will be able to see all of your posts ever made in the history of TB which could be useful for times like this. Good luck!

Well, tomorrow I'll be golden with the new post history, because I've got bupkas tonight on both searches. I posted the original comment, but it was more than a week old.

Paddlefisher · July 2013

Cashingn2:
Paddlefisher:
Cashingn2:
Paddlefisher:
TXmamatobe:
I'm only asking this because I really want to know. I keep seeing posts where maternity leave is being negotiated. What is there to negotiate? Are these companies that aren't covered by FMLA? Good luck telling your boss.

I responded to this question on the previous thread of similar topic.
So it's too much effort to explain again? Bc not everyone read the other thread. If you want to link the other thread in here, I'd go read it but telling us you responded to that question in another thread is not helpful when I have no idea which thread you're talking about. Eta: I actually would have asked this same question but saw that TX had asked so I waited for your answer.

I tried to find the post, but the search function is giving me nonesense. Not super tech savvy.
The short version of the previous response was:
* I work for an FMLA employer;
* Our HR manual indicates you can take "up to" 12 weeks, but basically, it has to be something both you and your boss agree to. <- negotiating
* Hoping to take 8 weeks off full time, and then some partial weeks. <-negotiating

I'm pretty sure that FMLA requires them to allow the 12 weeks whether your boss wants you to or not. I am only taking 8 weeks myself...though, I feel like I will go stir crazy lol.

If that's true for my employer, negotiating a few part-time weeks should be a breeze. Our HR sure does not read that way, though. One gets the distinct impression it's not a 100% employee-made decision. Thus all the discussion about negotiating.

Paddlefisher · July 2013

EmJacks0n:
TXmamatobe:
I'm only asking this because I really want to know. I keep seeing posts where maternity leave is being negotiated. What is there to negotiate? Are these companies that aren't covered by FMLA? Good luck telling your boss.

The smaller companies don't have to follow the three month FMLA if the number of employees is under below a certain amount. (I've read 50 & 100 so I am not really sure which.) I'm also in that boat. My boss and office manager said in the 25+ years, they've never had a woman be pregnant. So they are talking to their accountant, their lawyer, and their insurance rep and will "get back to me" this Thursday... I told them over a month ago. They are by far the slowest moving, least caring bunch. I told them right off the bat I need three months. Whether or not they try to screw me over is up to them. I think they will definitely try to screw me over.

Fingers crossed for a good response from your company!!!

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