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Attachment Parenting
boogerbearoriginal
member
S+TMs, Talk Me Down
boogerbearoriginal
member
I need some reassurance that handling 2 babies is possible without me losing my mind.
While I don't think of LO as high needs, he can play by himself, etc he does love BFing and takes his sweet time, switches back/forth, etc. He also likes to nurse to sleep (but will go down just fine without if I'm not home), and to wake up. When I get home from work, we'll usually spend ~20mins on the couch nursing. Basically, I feel like he nurses as much as I've seen people describe their 6m olds nursing.
Now I realize, in the next 6m a lot may/can change. Especially if/when my milk supply dwindles he may slow down the lengthy, frequent sessions. But how am I supposed to handle this? Will I just nurse both non-stop? What about sleep!?!
Also, bedtime is a big worry for me. My H works afternoons and won't be available to help, so I'll have a newborn and a toddler that takes anywhere from 5-45mins to nurse to sleep. I'm having a hard time envisioning how this will work. The logical part of me knows I will figure something out, but I still am worrying. I plan to work on night weaning, for a number of reasons, so hopefully that will help ease some of the stress.
Basically, I'd just love some BTDT moms to reassure me it's possible. I think LO may adjust easier than me sometimes lol.
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Re: S+TMs, Talk Me Down
Mine are 2.5 years apart and it looks like yours will be very similar spacing. DD (my first) has always been on the intense side and I was worried she'd never stop nursing and/or would start back up after the baby came, but she just suddenly stopped nursing one day when I was headed into my third tri. She never asked again or showed any interest in it once the baby came. She also was a horrible sleeper but got a lot better around age 2, all on her own (she was resistant to any intervention in this area). So, I don't have a lot of advice on either issue because for us it just magically happened...but I do think some of it is just a factor of time and maturity and your DS is probably really close to getting there, too.
Before she weaned completely I had started to cut back the time that I would spend in DD's room at bedtime, anticipating the same issues you are. We would read a couple books, lights out, nurse for a little while, and once she was calm I would tell her it was time for me to go to bed, tuck her in, and say good night. She took it much better than I would have predicted. If I were in your shoes I would start gradually cutting back on the bedtime nursing sessions and see how things go. You have time to work it all out, so try not to stress!
It's definitely possible. I think the PPer gave some great advice. I also have to add that my older one quit nursing while I was pregnant so it's entirely possible that that will happen to you also. I would start working on cutting back the amount of time spent on bedtime. We did that and it makes a huge difference. We read during the day so I don't do books at bedtime anymore. I can have her bathed and in bed in under 5 mins which is super important for me right now because DS is a handful and if I'm home alone with them and he's screaming his head off, I have to be able to get DD down quickly.
I would start to work on the bedtime routine and night weaning. Generally speaking, I very much favor going with whatever baby needs/go with the flow kind of mentality but practically, I can't imagine waking up over night to tend to 2 children or taking 45 mins for bedtime. If I were you I would work on those 2 things and try to have them where you want them 1-2 months before baby is born. That way you have some time with things going smoothly before you transition to 2 kids.
I was hoping for a magical self-weaning like pp had. Didn't happen - he slowed down for a while when my milk was nearly gone, but I think my colostrum is back and so is he.
What has changed is that he can take no for an answer, and I can do a count down from 5 and he'll usually unlatch before I get to "blastoff!" I also nightweaned at 18 months. I wish I could tell you he STTN (he did for a while...), but the upside is he'll now take his 2 am cuddle from DH. Night weaning did help me just plain not resent nursing. I needed to do it, and it went pretty quickly with not too much drama (about 4 rough nights).
Ask me how it's going in a few weeks.
I've decided to just take things one day at a time and work on meeting our needs as I go. Don't borrow tomorrow's trouble for today - just decide what you, DS, and DH need today and work toward that.
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That's a very good point - I need to stop worrying about things that may never come to pass.
Nightweaning is on the agenda, I've tried telling him nursies went to sleep during the night, and it's actually gone surprisingly well. I just need to be consistent with it. Still keeping my hopes up for magical weaning but based on posts I've seen though, Token, your LO reminds me of mine in regard to the love of nursing.
Thanks for the tips ladies, and general reassurance. I go through periods where I'm super excited and then super scared lol. Luckily pg is 9m long so I have lots of time to worry...I mean plan.
I am anticipating the first few weeks to feel like a blur of crazy, and lots of TV/movies for #1 lol.