He just makes me so upset. I feel like I DO EVERYTHING for DD. Normally, I wouldn't mind this so much- if I didn't also work a 45-50 hour work week. I would really love to have a 2nd child one day, but I just don't think I can do it if things don't change, b/c there is no way I'm working 45-50 hours/week AND caring for both a toddler and a baby w/ his little help.
He works nights, but when he's home he spends the majority of the time in the bonus den watching ESPN and smoking cigarettes (which is why DD and I will not go in there). He'll come out and play kissy face with DD- kiss on me for one minute before disapperaing again to the den. You would think it would make me feel better, but it doesn't. In fact, it just makes me more angry b/c it's like his way of trying to show he loves us and cares, but he won't actually spend a lot of time with us, or offer to help. If I want help- I always have to ask.
Ok, vent over. I really do love my DH. I just never knew how much of "Team Zimm" would really be all me.
Re: I really do love my DH...really.
Maybe he needs a gentle reminder? If talking doesn't work, what would happen if you went on strike? For a few days (if you can last that long) don't clean up after him, don't do the dishes, don't cook meals, hand him DD the minute he comes out of the den and tell him she needs a diaper change...basically make him realize just how much you're doing.
good luck