So, this is hard..

JulyMomma2U2 · July 2013

DS 2 is 9 days old.. It's hard.. but not at all (yet) for the reasons I expected.

I miss my OJo time. And, it's probably just coincidence, but maybe not.. he's going through a major Daddy phase.. like, doesn't even want me near him.. cries the second Daddy walks away, etc. It doesn't help that having had a RCS I can't pick him up.. can't hold him.. can't go up and down the steps, etc, so it's been Daddy who's been doing all the normal "mommy" duties..Daddy who gets him up in the morning, puts him down for bed, does his bath time, takes him for walks outside, etc.

That part is breaking my heart. I miss my OJo snuggles. I expected to be tied to DS2 in the beginning, and I am.. nursing all the time.. literally, what feels like every hour.. I just didn't anticipate how difficult it would be to not have my normal "time" with DS1, and for the little time we do have together, DS1 screams and cries for Daddy every second...!

Also.. I've been so worried about DS2.. we had a Ped appointment last Thursday, and DS2 had only gained 2oz in the 3 days we were home from the hospital.. and, his eyes are still very jaundice looking.. she is seeing us again tomorrow to make sure DS2 is gaining as he should and to re-check the jaundice.. I've been trying to nurse, nurse, nurse as much as I can in hopes that he'll have put on some weight and have been keeping DS2 in the sunniest spots in our home to try and help him soak up some vitamin D and get rid of the yellow, but I'm not sure if either is working I'm so nervous she's going to send him back to the hospital to be under the blue lights for a day, or that she'll tell me I need to start supplementing with formula, or pumping and feeding so I know how much he's getting.. if she says I need to pump and feed, my BFing days will likely be over as there's little chance I'll be able to manage that while also having a 1 year old running around.. Wish us luck tomorrow!

SouthernBellaKS · July 2013

**Big hugs** Good luck hun. Just remember, those mommy/daddy phases come in and out. There will be a time where all he wants is momma.

ProfessorPedals825 · July 2013

((Hugs)) I'll be sending T&Ps for a great appointment tomorrow. And give DS1 some time. I'm sure it's just a phase with all the new changes going on. You're doing great momma!

katigox · July 2013

FX for tomorrow's appointment!

As for DS1, I'm sure he'll want his Mama soon enough ~ maybe he just senses that DS2 needs a bit more of your time on a very basic survival level? But I'll bet he'll come around so fast, it'll give you whiplash

JulyMomma2U2 · July 2013

Thanks guys! I miss my little OJo time so much and then coupled with the daddy phase it's just heartbreaking! The anti-momma phase started when I first went into the hospital.. Thought maybe just me being n the hospital bed with the IV and such scared him.. But even PP in the hospital he wanted nothing to do with me... Cried everytime someone placed him close to me.. Hoped t was just the strange setting and would clear up when we got home.. Convinced OB to discharge me a day early, got home and still OJo wants no Momma at all... This was Monday.

I can't wait for snuggles and little boy love from DS1.. I know it'll switch back, it's just bad timing right now!! Makes me feel like/worry that he's mada me...

will update after our ped appointment! Thanks ladies!!

delino · July 2013

I'm so sorry you're having such a difficult time. I hope everything turns out ok with his weight gain and jaundice. :::hugs:::

melly918 · July 2013

I know the first few weeks are rough. You all are adjusting to a new way of life and your little guy is too young to understand what is really happening. My kids' pedi recommended I spend 10 to 15 minutes alone with DS a day so he wasn't feeling resentful of the baby (he's 3). If you can have someone, your husband, take the baby for just 10 minutes, take DS1 outside to play, go for a walk, or go into another room and play or read together. He may resist at first but just keep it up every day. GL and I hope the jaundice clears up for baby too.

tetiananina · July 2013

Big hugs to you. I'm sorry your feeling that way. I'm sure the post having a baby blues aren't helping you miss it even more. I'm hoping you can still nurse.

Ps I hope your going to be ready for all my questions come January/February. I hope you can get a DS1 and mommy day soon

ksyknelvr73 · July 2013

I'm so sorry - it would break my heart too. Sending lots of hugs to you!

adoxyinherear · July 2013

So many hugs. Hang in there, mama... BFed babies can be slow gainers in the beginning. It took DD nearly three weeks to regain her birth weight. Have you considered a weighed feeding? Then you'd know he was transferring well, and if not, look into what you can do about it.

Also, OJo loves his mama!! I'm sure it's a big adjustment for him, too. Hugs, hugs, hugs. You're doing great.

vflipo · July 2013

((hugs)) I hope things get better. I'm sure DS1 will come around.

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