Issues with Sharing

melissa0726 · July 2013

Anyone else's kids starting to have issues with sharing? I can't tell if it's just the age (a lot of friends tell me this crops up around 2 yrs old) or if it has to do with the new baby, or a combination of the two.

While we go to play dates weekly, we never have people over to play at our house since DH works from home. We generally go to community play places or to the homes of some of our friends.

Well, one of my MOMs Club friends stopped by with her kids (who DD sees often) about two weeks after the baby was born. DD COMPLETELY freaked out when they started playing with some of her toys in the living room. And she proceeded to scream and cry for the next half hour every time one of them touched something new. It was horrible! This also happened the following week when we had another friend and her son stop by.

My friends assured me it was probably just because she was being territorial in our house. But the next week we went to the playground, and she was crying periodically because she didn't want anyone else to use the various equipment that she was using.

Anyone else have any sharing issues? Any tips or tricks to share to deal with this? While I really do think a lot of it has to do with the new baby (and having to suddenly share mommy and daddy), I would love your thoughts on the best way to respond to her when she is melting down over sharing.

NotSharknado · July 2013

Unfortunately we are having the same issues. :::sits next to Melissa and waits for answers:::

BnchaNums · July 2013

Dd doesn't do this (yet!) but she has been very emotional since baby arrived.

a friends daughter who is the same age as dd1 has been like that for mos and my friend has gotten really strict with the meltdowns. She shows the car to her daughter and asks her if they need to leave, if she doesn't stop, they do. It sounds mean, but it seems to have improved the frequency. This kid has always been pretty dramatic though.

eatmorecupcakes · July 2013

We do "okay" and I use the term "okay" loosely. In our play group we don't really promote sharing at this age. We encourage turn taking and only playing with one or two things at a time and it seems to really help with the meltdowns. Although we "make" the kids take turns, we try to let the whoever is playing with the toy have as long as a turn as they want. For example, if Max has a car it is his car until he decides he is done playing with it and we don't make him give it up until he is done. If there is a car and a ball and Jacob wants to come play, then Max can only have one of the toys at a time so that Jacob can play too. Does that make sense?

I don't know if that would help in this situation since she seems to want all of the things though. I definitely think it is the age and whoever's 2 year doesn't have epic meltdowns is definitely in the minority.

melissa0726 · July 2013

BnchaNums:
Dd doesn't do this (yet!) but she has been very emotional since baby arrived.

a friends daughter who is the same age as dd1 has been like that for mos and my friend has gotten really strict with the meltdowns. She shows the car to her daughter and asks her if they need to leave, if she doesn't stop, they do. It sounds mean, but it seems to have improved the frequency. This kid has always been pretty dramatic though.

Oh yes, emotional is the word! She is pretty good with the baby, and very patient and helpful, but the weirdest stuff is setting her off. I'm sure it'll be better in time.

Your friend's tactic is exactly what I would do if she was really freaking out in public. I'll never forget last summer when we saw a kid having a full blown meltdown, and the woman with him spent 10 minutes trying to reason with him when he was so obviously beyond that point. We couldn't figure out why she just didn't pick the kid up and leave, it was ridiculous.

melissa0726 · July 2013

eatmorecupcakes:
We do "okay" and I use the term "okay" loosely. In our play group we don't really promote sharing at this age. We encourage turn taking and only playing with one or two things at a time and it seems to really help with the meltdowns. Although we "make" the kids take turns, we try to let the whoever is playing with the toy have as long as a turn as they want. For example, if Max has a car it is his car until he decides he is done playing with it and we don't make him give it up until he is done. If there is a car and a ball and Jacob wants to come play, then Max can only have one of the toys at a time so that Jacob can play too. Does that make sense?
I don't know if that would help in this situation since she seems to want all of the things though. I definitely think it is the age and whoever's 2 year doesn't have epic meltdowns is definitely in the minority.

I very much agree with the approach that you described. The other moms seem inclined to promote sharing by having their kids give up the toy to M, and I don't think they should have to do that. BUT...these kids are at least a year older than her and definitely have a better understanding of taking turns and what that means. So I just sort of go along with it if that's their approach and it helps calm her down

Duffgurl · July 2013

When we go to Logan's gym class and there is alone free play time with a bunch of toys. Logan is pretty good about not caring if another kid takes a toy. Now don't get me wrong every now and then he will whine for a toy but soon will get over it.

Now when we have friends come over with their LO's and they start to play with his toys he does get more territorial and we have to let him know to share and be nice.

I think this is a normal stage and we just have to keep reminding them to be nice and share.

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