Saying no

Heyjordynhey · July 2013

My DS is 7 months, and is crawling and getting into EVERYTHING. his favorite activity is chasing our cat. He likes to chase after him and once she runs away he finds something else to get into, cords, bags, anything he can get his hands on. It makes me nervous because if i take my eyes off of him for more than 2 mins he'll be across the room. I'm a FTM, and just curious when you other momma's starting teaching your child the word no. or what's a appropriate way of teaching him the things he can't play with and the things he can't. It might sound silly but i'm just confused

Any help is appreciated!

vettymama · July 2013

I'm a FTM also. So far we get his attention, say no and shake our heads. If that doesn't work after a few tries we redirect him and give something else to play with. He isn't quite crawling yet but can still get into plenty of things.

jobiann · July 2013

I'm a FTM too to a 6 1/2 month old, we've already started saying "no" to DS...I was hoping he'd recognize the tone and the word to realize that maybe it's not okay to do what he is doing. We don't do it all the time...but if he is doing something he really shouldn't like pulling on my hair really hard, I give a soft but firm "no" or if he puts something in his mouth that he shouldn't he gets it too. Right now he just kind of looks at me...I'm sure he doesn't understand but I thought it would be a good idea to start the word so he starts to realize what it means.

hmontty · July 2013

Start now! There is nothing wrong with saying no (although some people would say it's too "negative," I personally find that to be over the top -- much like giving trophies for last place).

Obviously there is no need to yell. Just a firm "no" and perhaps a finger wag, followed by immediate redirection, worked well (and still does) for my DD.

But redirection is the key -- and will be for a long time. Distract with something else, offer a toy or another safer thing to play with.

Even now, my 28-month-old DD, for example, will start screaming and crying when we say it's time to go up to bed. So I say, "Hey, where's Baby?" (her doll that she goes nowhere without), and she IMMEDIATELY stops crying and says in the sweetest voice, "Where is she?" and starts looking.

LOVE redirection.

pb_bride · July 2013

The KEY thing right now for your 7 month-old son, is to make sure your house is safe & baby-proofed. If there are items you don't want your baby to get hold of, just put it out of the way so he can't reach it.

We have hidden all our electric cords (except for the cable for TV) from DS, so he won't get into trouble. When he reaches for that one and only cable, I'll tell him no and shake my head. He is slowly learning "no". But at this age, REDIRECTION is the most effective method. Babies this age are curious and they are out to explore. It's the job of the parent to make sure that the things they explore are not dangerous. They are not misbehaving (they don't learn that until much older), it's just their innate nature to explore.

honeybee72 · July 2013

We've babyproofed, but with our twins we have "I want the toy she has" issues. We noticed that our DC uses "No, thank you" with redirection. We've employed that at home so our girls are getting a consistent message.

They also both respond to their names (first and middle) said in a warning tone.

wesleycrusher · July 2013

About a month ago is when we started to say "no" in a firm voice to DD. We do this when she grabs at DH and my glasses. She doesn't get it yet but we are consistent with it.

Chappy_jr · July 2013

Absolutely! DS is almost 6 months olds and not mobile, yet, but we have been teaching him the words "gentle" and "no" when touching the pets. We have a cat and a dog, both of whom are reactive and do not have great track-records with children. So far, they do great with DS and he does great being "gentle". But the few time when he grabs, rather than pets, we give him a stern "No", look him in the eye, and remove his hand from their fur. Babies are receptive to both the tone of your voice and the words you use as long as they are simple. Kind of like how our pets are ... so the training really has to go both ways. We praise DS when he is gentle and praise our pets when they let him pet.

this decaf life · July 2013

At this age they're just learning and so interested in everything so it's no surprise. DD loves cords + computers! I'm trying not to say no but rather redirect her towards things she actually can play with.

ngarden01 · July 2013

pb_bride:
The KEY thing right now for your 7 month-old son, is to make sure your house is safe & baby-proofed. If there are items you don't want your baby to get hold of, just put it out of the way so he can't reach it.

I'm glad you said this because it was the first thing that came to mind when she listed off the things he's getting into! Definitely time to baby-proof.

Heyjordynhey · July 2013

i'm glad you said this. i have a cat and a dog too, but DS LOVES to grab their fur. They can put up with it, but sometimes he pulls them too hard and i'm scared they're gonna hurt DS. But we make sure at least one of us is around him when he's with our animals

meaglamillion · July 2013

MrsMuq:
You're best off re-directing him to an appropriate toy or game. It's going to still be a while before he understands "no."
Try a favorite too or stuffed animal, or peekaboo or sing a song.

Pretty much this. I try not to say no too much, because it sucks when they start saying it back to you. All. The. Time.

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