Offended to the Max!! — The Bump
January 2014 Moms

Offended to the Max!!

There is this one girl at work that acts super jealous since I've been pregnant. I was showing my ultra sound pics at work. She had the nerve to say GOSH THIS BABY GOT A BIG HEAD... At first I laughed it off and said they all do at this point until they grow into it. Then she said it again.. I went OFF!! I told her don't u ever talk about my baby again, I don't care if she is not born. Remember u have three kids and u should know better. U could here crickets in my office for about the next three hours. Don't mess with my BABY!!
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Re: Offended to the Max!!

  • I probably wouldn't have went off on a co worker. You do have to work with her on a daily basis. You know she's jealous of you. I would have just chalked it up to that, ignored her comments, and moved on. People are going to say lots of things about your child throughout the years. You're going to have to learn how to pick your battles.
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    Jacob & Audra - married since 05.28.11
    Emma Kate - born 10.16.03 @ 29 weeks, weighed 1lb 13oz and 13.5" long.
    Ozzy Joseph - born 11.01.13 @ 31 weeks, weighed 3lbs 7oz and 16" long.
    TTC #3
    _______________________________________________________________________________________

  • ccip82ccip82 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 250 Answers 500 Love Its
    Yeah, I would not have blown up at a co-worker over this.... Indifferent

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  • imageaessary03:
    I probably wouldn't have went off on a co worker. You do have to work with her on a daily basis. You know she's jealous of you. I would have just chalked it up to that, ignored her comments, and moved on. People are going to say lots of things about your child throughout the years. You're going to have to learn how to pick your battles.

     

    Agree.  Or maybe she was just kidding around? I understand being annoyed but sometimes it's better to just walk away.   

    DS1 born 3/27/12 DS2 due 1/8/14
  • Overreact much?

  • imageaessary03:
    I probably wouldn't have went off on a co worker. You do have to work with her on a daily basis. You know she's jealous of you. I would have just chalked it up to that, ignored her comments, and moved on. People are going to say lots of things about your child throughout the years. You're going to have to learn how to pick your battles.

    Yup, all of this. I would also like to add that if you aren't fond of the comments she makes, maybe next time you could avoid discussing the pregnancy while she is around. 


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  • The other thing that I think is worth mentioning is that babies' heads ARE abnormally large at this stage. They take up like half of their bodies. My baby has a big head, I'm not afraid to admit it.

  • I probably wouldn't have flipped out on her. It's just not worth it since you have to see her (and all your other coworkers you may have overheard you) every day. No one wants an awkward work environment. People are going to say stupid things. You just have to roll with it.
    OHM born 12/16/11, BAM born 1/10/14, mmc 06/30/15
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  • I would have been more offended by her inability to speak properly....

     

    EDIT: and yes, all babies at this point have big heads.

     

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    Missing Our July Sparkler
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    BFP#2-4/23/13 EDD-01/02/14 baby BOY born 12/31/13 Michael Cameron <3

  • Talk about hormone issues. What a dumb reason to make things awkward for yourself.
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  • I'm sorry I would have flipped out on her the same way. I used to work with people like that and that one comment would not have been the FIRST thing to set me off. It does not sound like the proper way to handle a coworker but I used to get bullied alot. While I'm not justifying it, I think it likely she will think before she speaks next time.

    I think I'm a little emotional right now and super defensive of my Janju-mommies Stick out tongue

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  • First of all I know my baby head is big and it's suppose to be. And no she wasn't kidding.. Maybe it's hormones but she has three children and should know better than to say things like that.
  • imagegregnmelly:
    First of all I know my baby head is big and it's suppose to be. And no she wasn't kidding.. Maybe it's hormones but she has three children and should know better than to say things like that.

    If you know your baby's head is big, and she said it was, then why would you get mad? It's not like she said something untrue and rude about your baby.

    Sorry I just don't see this as a reason to go off on someone. Especially someone who you work with.

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    Missing Our July Sparkler
    BFP#1-11/12/12, MMC 1/16/13-baby stopped growing @ 9wks, found out at 13wks, D&E 1/25/13
    BFP#2-4/23/13 EDD-01/02/14 baby BOY born 12/31/13 Michael Cameron <3

  • I'm not entirely sure I understand what offended you. Of course your baby has a big head - so does mine! So does everyone's on this board! If it didn't I'd be worried, so if she was really trying to get to you, I probably would have just responded with a sarcastic comment about how smart he/she was going to be and moved on.
  • imagegregnmelly:
    First of all I know my baby head is big and it's suppose to be. And no she wasn't kidding.. Maybe it's hormones but she has three children and should know better than to say things like that.

    It's definitely hormones. You are way overreacting to this. And you probably made a bit of an a$$ of yourself, more so than she did by saying that your baby's head was big.


  • imagegregnmelly:
    First of all I know my baby head is big and it's suppose to be. And no she wasn't kidding.. Maybe it's hormones but she has three children and should know better than to say things like that.

    Becoming a mother does not automatically make you sensitive to the feelings of other mothers or mothers-to-be. Just because someone says something stupid, or mean, or insensitive doesn't give you the right to freak out in a professional situation. Should she have pushed your buttons? Probably not, but yelling at her does absolutely nothing to improve the situation.

    My suggestion? Refrain from sharing anything baby-related with this person. And when you hear negative comments (particularly at work) take a couple of deep breaths and either respond in a calm, constructive fashion or just WALK AWAY.

    OHM born 12/16/11, BAM born 1/10/14, mmc 06/30/15
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • ccip82ccip82 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 250 Answers 500 Love Its

    imagegregnmelly:
    First of all I know my baby head is big and it's suppose to be. And no she wasn't kidding.. Maybe it's hormones but she has three children and should know better than to say things like that.

     

    So...if you know that all babies heads are big, wasn't she just stating the obvious? Granted that is not necessarily something I would say in response to someone showing me an ultrasound pic, but still that is no reason to go off on her...

    Also, many people do not get that excited for babies if it is not their own...unless it is grandparents, most people do not care that much.

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    sibling love  

  • imagegregnmelly:
    First of all I know my baby head is big and it's suppose to be. And no she wasn't kidding.. Maybe it's hormones but she has three children and should know better than to say things like that.

    Hormones or not....people will continue to make you mad in pregnancy and afterward. You're going to have to learn how to control your reactions. You can't just blame it on hormones. I hate that excuse. You're still a rational person.

    Some people have no filter and don't know better than to say things....kids or not. I still maintain ignoring and moving on is your best solution. Especially with co workers. Like other pp's said, I wouldn't share anymore when she's around. 

    _______________________________________________________________________________________

    Jacob & Audra - married since 05.28.11
    Emma Kate - born 10.16.03 @ 29 weeks, weighed 1lb 13oz and 13.5" long.
    Ozzy Joseph - born 11.01.13 @ 31 weeks, weighed 3lbs 7oz and 16" long.
    TTC #3
    _______________________________________________________________________________________

  • To quote you from the it's a girl post earlier:

    imagegregnmelly:
    Can't believe some are offended by that. get a grip

  • imagesugarland726:

    To quote you from the it's a girl post earlier:

    imagegregnmelly:
    Can't believe some are offended by that. get a grip

    Sugar, I totally just saw that and was like WTF?!? Seriously?!


  • imagepeanut+muse:
    imagesugarland726:

    To quote you from the it's a girl post earlier:

    imagegregnmelly:
    Can't believe some are offended by that. get a grip

    Sugar, I totally just saw that and was like WTF?!? Seriously?!

    I just loved the irony. I thought it was perfect here.

  • imagesugarland726:
    imagepeanut+muse:
    imagesugarland726:

    To quote you from the it's a girl post earlier:

    imagegregnmelly:
    Can't believe some are offended by that. get a grip

    Sugar, I totally just saw that and was like WTF?!? Seriously?!

    I just loved the irony. I thought it was perfect here.

    I saw this too and had to double check that it was the same person. Yup, love the irony. 


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  • imageBalletLover:
    imagesugarland726:
    imagepeanut+muse:
    imagesugarland726:

    To quote you from the it's a girl post earlier:

    imagegregnmelly:
    Can't believe some are offended by that. get a grip

    Sugar, I totally just saw that and was like WTF?!? Seriously?!

    I just loved the irony. I thought it was perfect here.

    I saw this too and had to double check that it was the same person. Yup, love the irony. 

    All I can do is giggle at the total mess. 

    _______________________________________________________________________________________

    Jacob & Audra - married since 05.28.11
    Emma Kate - born 10.16.03 @ 29 weeks, weighed 1lb 13oz and 13.5" long.
    Ozzy Joseph - born 11.01.13 @ 31 weeks, weighed 3lbs 7oz and 16" long.
    TTC #3
    _______________________________________________________________________________________

  • imagesugarland726:

    I just loved the irony. I thought it was perfect here.

    And the fact that it was happening at pretty much the same time as she was posting this -- boggles the mind.


  • Yeah, probably not worth it to get all upset with a coworker over something so silly. I also think that people at work couldn't care less about ultrasound pictures. I share those with family and that's about it.
     
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  • I don't think I would have been upset since it's obvious the person who said this is ignorant and uneducated regarding this topic regardless if she has children or not. I would just ignore her moving forward and bite your tounge so this does not cause issues within the office for you. That's the last thing you need!

    Jaclyn D'Ausilio Jackie D'Ausilio

     Married 6.22.12

         Baby Oliver Born 1.11.14

               

     

     

  • 1. I don't think this was anything to get offended over. If it made you mad, you walk away, not blow up on a co-worker.

    2. Please don't blame the hormones. I worked with a few idiots (not my co-workers, but the public) when I was pregnant with DS and never found myself blowing up in their faces when the made stupid/ignorant remarks. If you're having that hard of a time dealing with them, maybe you need to refrain from talking about your pregnancy at work.

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    January2014 Blog ** Admin to the January 2014 FB group!
  • I have to say my preggo horomones have made me do some slightly irrational things ... everyone is different, everyones chemistry is different. I have felt completely not myself at times during this pregnancy being so emotional, and I am typically not even a TINY bit confrontational but I have been a bit more strong willed now that I am protective of this little one in me.

    The times I have over reacted while pregnant I have made sure to apologize once I calmed down -- even if a bit of my feelings were justified I apologized for the way I acted about it instead of attempting to discuss or handle things maturely. You might consider really humbling yourself and explaining your feelings to your coworker so there is not a stressful atmosphere at work .... the last thing we need is stress!!!! I think the outcome of that would be really good.


  • imagecarisue143:

    The times I have over reacted while pregnant I have made sure to apologize once I calmed down -- even if a bit of my feelings were justified I apologized for the way I acted about it instead of attempting to discuss or handle things maturely. You might consider really humbling yourself and explaining your feelings to your coworker so there is not a stressful atmosphere at work .... the last thing we need is stress!!!! I think the outcome of that would be really good.

    Great advice Cari Sue.  


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  • imagesugarland726:

    To quote you from the it's a girl post earlier:

    imagegregnmelly:
    Can't believe some are offended by that. get a grip

    I was literally JUST going to do this. Thanks for doing it for me. ;) 

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    Carter Robert 7.18.08 | Brynn Sophia 5.24.10 | Reid Joseph 9.10.12 | Emerson Mae 1.27.14

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  • I'm sorry, but she needed to be put in her place. If she was just joking then I would have just laughed if off too. However, if she was being rude, I probably would have told her the same thing. I would never yell at someone in my office, but I will put them in their place if I need to. I work in an office of four people and sometimes you have to be honest with a person or they will keep putting and pulling you down.
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  • I think people need to learn to pick their battles.....that's not one I would have picked but hey, if it really bothered you then asking if you could speak with your coworker in private would have been a REALLY good idea. 
    I should imagine the rest of your coworkers are going to be walking on eggshells around you for a few weeks.

  • imagewashyourhandsplease:
    I'm sorry, but she needed to be put in her place. If she was just joking then I would have just laughed if off too. However, if she was being rude, I probably would have told her the same thing. I would never yell at someone in my office, but I will put them in their place if I need to. I work in an office of four people and sometimes you have to be honest with a person or they will keep putting and pulling you down.

    I think there is a huge difference between calmly being honest with someone about their rudeness and "going OFF" as OP described. It's not ok to deal with a coworker in a way that makes the rest of the office uncomfortable.

    OHM born 12/16/11, BAM born 1/10/14, mmc 06/30/15
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • imageBookshelves:
    Kind of offended I spent two minutes of my life reading this thread.

    hahahah Yes

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    Missing Our July Sparkler
    BFP#1-11/12/12, MMC 1/16/13-baby stopped growing @ 9wks, found out at 13wks, D&E 1/25/13
    BFP#2-4/23/13 EDD-01/02/14 baby BOY born 12/31/13 Michael Cameron <3

  • ccip82ccip82 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 250 Answers 500 Love Its

    Is this how it all went down???

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  • imageccip82:

    Is this how it all went down???

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    hahahahahaha you win GIF of the week! 

    DS1 born 3/27/12 DS2 due 1/8/14
  • imageccip82:

    Is this how it all went down???

    LOL. Please, just start putting your gifs in. That will make it not a waste of time for people.

  • I'm thinking it is just hormones. I personally would never attack a coworker like that because you are stuck working with her. Hopefully you can take a deep breath and just let it go next time you feel like you need to explode. 
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  • imageBookshelves:
    Kind of offended I spent two minutes of my life reading this thread.

     

    haha! 

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  • There's no way I would have acted that way in my office. Hormones or no hormones, I hope you don't have a performance review coming up. Why would you be proud of making everyone in your office so uncomfortable that no one even talked for 3 hours? I would think twice about the way you choose to handle conflict at work.


    Married: 9.22.12 - DD: 1.7.14 - EDD 2: 10.30.17 - J14 OG
  • Although I wouldn't have said or done the same as you, I don't think it's right to rip you apart for what you said or did. We're all human and sometimes we have moments we're not proud of. I'd say chalk this one up to a learning experience and think of how you'd like to handle it the next time around.
    Baby Boy #2
    Due Date 11/10/16
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