Maternity Leave WWYD?

MamaAllison · July 2013

Hey all. So last time I took 11 months off. It was nice to have all that time, plus I had some PPA issues and definitely would not have been ready to go back before about 6 months anyway. Timing of DH's grad school, etc. allowed me to take almost the whole year.

Now I am in a job where I plan to be for the rest of my life. Everyone at work is super happy about the pregnancy, nothing but excited, positive responses from Principal, HR, etc. Principal suggested we could be flexible with the leave... and when I mentioned taking some time off unpaid to extend my leave HR lady said she would love to know if that is going to happen before September (when our fiscal year resets).

I am due February 8th. I get 3 months paid leave (I know, awesome). My question is this: should I take an additional 5 weeks unpaid leave so I can be at home with the baby for the first 7 months straight? I would love for the new LO NOT to have to go to daycare until he/she is 6+ months.

Option #1: Go back to work at the end of 3 months. Pros: responsible thing to do at work (a lot of my Dept. Chair duties are centered around the end of school), no effect on pay. Cons: Baby will have to go to DC. I feel like if pumping doesn't go well my supply could take a hit that it doesn't recover from. Don't know how effective I'll be at work.

Option #2: Take the 5 weeks off. Will amount to about a $6,000 pay cut which we cannot really afford (although my mom would probably happily make up the difference). I could help make up a lot of that though by pulling DD from DC for the summer (that's $3,000 plus right there). Pros: home with the baby longer, much less stress. I should be able to BF and if we make it to 7 months that's great - then I won't feel guilty if we supplement after that. Cons: not as professional, although many women at my school do this. Would have to ask someone to cover my Dept Chair duties. We also have a new head of school so I'm not sure how favorably this will be looked at by him (also not sure if I should care if my Principal is supportive??)

Option #3: I could just take an additional week or two off and then DH could take vacation to cover the last 2.5 weeks when I'm back. This way LO would still not have to go to DC, and the salary hit would not be as much. The con with this might be that is is kind of mean to my students to just bounce back in right before their finals.

Ok, thoughts and insights? If you even read this whole thing you are a rockstar and if I was clever and knew how to post a picture of a big, delicious plate of bacon cheese fries I would.

MsCrispy · July 2013

If you can afford it, option 2 would be great, but it sounds like it may not be the best option for your family.

I would kind of lean toward option 3. Do you have any family that can come and stay with your LO? If your ILs and parents each take a week or two and your DH covers another week or two, then you may be covered. You didn't mention family besides your DH, so this may not be possible.

Pumping is tough, but you can struggle through it for 5 weeks. I never pumped enough at work and had to get up in the middle of the night to make up for it. I did this for months, so 5 weeks may be stressful, but it is doable.

jf198400 · July 2013

Personally I would take the extra time off as long as the school will hold your job. It seems silly to send your LO to daycare for a month and then stay home all summer. You have plenty of time to save up some money before your leave to help cover the loss in salary, and your boss has plenty of time to plan for someone else to cover your duties.

ccam · July 2013

Option #2 sounds ideal. But if we couldn't afford it, then it wouldn't be an option. I, personally, wouldn't rely on my parents to make up the difference. But it does seem kind of crazy to put your LO in daycare for such a short time to only be taken out for the summer. I would go with #3 and find people now to cover that time for you.

You also have to take into consideration what if you go earlier than your due date though.

Iblamethebeer · July 2013

I'd be inclined to go with a modified version of #3.

If this is a job you want to keep for life, and those 5 weeks back at work would be really helpful in getting everything wrapped up, then I would probably have DH take 2 weeks (can he delay paternity leave until then? At my office a lot of guys take 2 weeks right after baby and another 2-4 when their wives go back to work), and then see if a grandma or someone can fill in the gap. That way you don't have to enroll in daycare or shlep a newborn out of the house, but you can finish the year well.

I wouldn't try to come back for just 2 1/2 weeks when it's harder for your students. That seems like the worst of both worlds to me.

Stephorse · July 2013

I am in the same situation as you; however, I am starting a new teaching job, so I don't think I could take three months off and have it be paid. I haven't even told work yet as I'm just turning in the paperwork. I will probably just take the typical 6 weeks off.

In your situation though I would probably go with option 1. I've just had bad experiences with my maternity sub and would hate to leave my students just to return right before the end of the year and finals which I think would be more stressful on me and them since I wouldn't have been at work long enough to adjust before the craziness of the end of the year. I know it sucks sending LO to daycare for only a couple of months, but for me this makes the most sense unless you have family to help you with option 3. All our family is 14 hours away so that would not be an option for us.

LoCarb · July 2013

#2 is nice but due to finances I'm leaning towards #3

TheBorg7of9 · July 2013

Could your husband take paternity leave for those five weeks?

olga1311 · July 2013

I would take the additional 5 weeks (option #2) if you can afford it. I am not sure why you consider it not professional? If these 5 weeks are allowed by either the state or the company policy all you are doing is taking the maximum time off you are entitled to. I don't see anything unprofessional about that.

MamaAllison · July 2013

Thanks for the responses ladies. I spoke with DH last night and my principal this morning and am still struggling with this decision. Also pretty pissed about the fact that my principal is more supportive of me taking the extra time off than DH is but that is a whole other story....

bcnoelle · July 2013

I think option 2 works best. I would think that even for your students it might be better. Seems a bit disruptive for them to have a temp for 3 months, then your for 5 weeks, and then summer break. I'm assuming you're a teacher- but maybe you are more on the administrative side? Also, is it possible to even put a child in daycare for 5 weeks? Seems like many daycares have wait lists and it's difficult to pick your exact dates needed. I wouldn't feel guilty about any of this. It sound like your mom is helping financially too? I didn't really understand the difference that your mom will make up the difference? If you can do all this financially, it seems like it makes sense.

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