awkward netflix

csandroo · July 2013

My significant others last relationship ended several years ago but he has stayed acquaintances with her because they still have to see each other occassionally through work. She also rents a house that he owns so he is pretty much her landlord. A big reason why their relationship failed was because he was torn about wanting a family but after her first child with her ex-husband she had complications and had to have surgery - she can not have another child.

Fast forward to now... her and her son still use his netflix account. Which at first didn't bother me but now it's getting a little awkward. Before he told her we were pregnant she commented on how we watched "what to expect when you're expecting." Now only a few days after telling her we're pregnant it shows that she watched this documentary movie about having fertility issues... next to "The Business of Being Born" which I am watching .... it just feels so awkward to me.

I keep suggesting we set up our TV to connect to MY netflix acct ... or that he ask her to get her own ... it is like 8 dollars a month so it's not a crazy request. It's just a little weird to know everything she's watching/her know what we're watching. She is in a happy relationship now but she has made comments about how I am too young for my S.O. and that I'm too young to be a Mom now (I'm 24.) She's been sort of critical of our relationship all around-including adding me on facebook and then deleting me a few days later... I'm ready for her to get her own netflix and for him to sell the house he owns that she rents.

Is this weird or it's just me?!!!

peanutmuse · July 2013

It's really flucking weird.

bethughknee · July 2013

This is definitely weird. Like you said, it's $8 a month. At this point, it seems to me that it's not a money issue to her, but a way to keep tabs on what you guys are doing. Maybe not in a malicious way, but just a way to satisfy curiosity. Very weird.

susieandmarty · July 2013

peanutmuse:
It's really flucking weird.

This. Cut all nonprofessional ties

valigrl21 · July 2013

MarBee1214:
Personally, yes, I would have an issue with it. I think that when you end a relationship, you need to cut ties especially when starting a new one...especially when when having a child with the new one! It would be different if this woman's child was his, but its not. I don't see any reason why he needs to have any ties with her. Being her landlord is one thing...thats just business...but for heaven's sake get your own netflix account! Sounds like she has some jealously issues towards you and that can be toxic to a relationship.

This!

aessary03 · July 2013

It's beyond awkward. I would definitely ask him to sever all ties to this woman. Continue to be cordial with her if they run into each other at work, etc. But her life sounds way too meshed with your and your significant other's at this time. I would be way uncomfortable with this whole situation.

Have you talked to your so about this and how you're feeling? If not, I certainly would.

csandroo · July 2013

Yes we have spoken about it twice now ... one time was a rough convo because I basically just got pissed at him ... I woke up at midnight after falling asleep on the couch and he was facebook messaging her -- she had written him about picking up rent/bills from the house thinking he would probably get it the next day I guess ... but I told him midnight is not an appropriate time to message someone. He showed me the convo openly so its not like he was hiding anything but at the end of talking about "business" she asked him if he was in LOVE with me! Chris just said that is a really personal thing to be asking about. So that wasn't a fun convo I had with him lol and wasn't very productive.

After that we had a more productive convo on the topic I told him that I don't communicate with nor am I even facebook friends with any of my exes so it is hard for me to comprehend how he is still friends with her. I told him I'de appreciate them talking much less/cutting out casual chatter and to not tell her personal details about us -- she had been asking if I was sick with the pregnancy etc. He agreed and has stopped talking to her about non-rent related things and now after all these responses I texted him at work and he agreed he'd ask her to get her own netflix and that it's weird.

csandroo · July 2013

PS- he did say he feels weird with all these people on the message boards knowing our business but he understands i need support so its fine.... hehe.

Unknown · July 2013

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sugarland726 · July 2013

carisue143:
PS- he did say he feels weird with all these people on the message boards knowing our business but he understands i need support so its fine.... hehe.

He has a problem with complete strangers you will never meet knowing your anonymous business but not his ex-girlfriend commenting on the TV shows you choose to watch and questioning your relationship? Not only is the ex-girlfriend really weird for snooping and commenting on it, but your SO gets a little side eye from me on not thinking that's weird.

stellar77 · July 2013

Change the password - don't give it to them. Done deal.

I'd be damned if I allowed my DH's ex to use something I/We were paying for.

halfthetree · July 2013

It's all weird. I would never be so ok with her lingering. Make her get her own damn Netflix and I would be making sure she moved soon. Seems so odd to me.

Dishylo · July 2013

Weird, weird, weird. I get exes staying acquaintances but there has to be a line. In my opinion, you've got to sever ties and a shared netflix account is not fully severed. Tell him it's bothering you and that you and he and your LO need a completely separate lift from her and her child.

PocketofSunshine09 · July 2013

Amylou333:
If it ended several years ago and not like a few months then it's VERY WEIRD. Change the password so she will have to get her own Netflix! The renting a house from him is not as weird because I guess, but still odd

This. It's very weird. I like the idea about changing the password. She can get her own netflix. It's $7.99 a month for instant view.

MissRdotS · July 2013

It's very weird.

baby2ra · July 2013

peanut+muse:
It's really flucking weird.

Yes.

moosebaby2011 · July 2013

Very weird. The netflix thing and the facebook thing would both make me very uncomfortable. I'm glad you and SO had a productive conversation about it, though.