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Toddlers: 24 Months+
Lisadi
member
DS missing DH while traveling
Lisadi
member
DH just had his annual week-long conference out of town. Last year was no biggie for DS. This year, now that he's 2.75, he asked a lot about daddy. After all, DH is the Duplo Lego expert, had a remote-controlled monster truck and DS is starting to look up to him. :-) On the night that DH came home, DS could not wind down for bedtime.
Any tips on smoothing the transition when one parent leaves and returns after a time? DH had some changes in his company. He'll be traveling now maybe once a week for a day or two while he meets the new customers.
Any tips on smoothing the transition when one parent leaves and returns after a time? DH had some changes in his company. He'll be traveling now maybe once a week for a day or two while he meets the new customers.
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Re: DS missing DH while traveling
DH is military and is gone a lot. It usually doesn't effect the kids too much, but I think we have all become used to his being gone. Some things that we do/have done that helps...
- Do fun things while DH is gone to make the time go by faster, this honestly helps the most. When DH is gone for 2 weeks or more at a time we travel to visit family. On shorter trips we go to the zoo, splash pad, etc. to stay busy.
- Skype/Google chat
- Count down calendars to DH's return
- Recordable bedtime books, if bedtime was part of your DH's routine
- DD loves taking pictures of things and sending them to daddy
Good luck! It gets easier with time.
DH is military too and we just got off a stint of him being gone for a year. The pp suggestions all worked for us. Plus, we have a lot of picture books of family trips and he loves to look at those pictures and talk about Daddy. I also try to have a good, consistent routine that helps him to feel secure and know what's going on.
I think after awhile, your DS will get used to it and it won't be so challenging. I'm sorry that you are dealing with this. Stay strong and cut yourself some slack. Do what you need to to minimize the stress. This past year I did lots of easy dinners like ravioli with pesto, sandwiches, eggs, etc. I also hired a housekeeper for every two weeks which is amazingly helpful if you can swing it.
I have three conferences per year. Two that are a week each and one that's 4 days. The biggest help for us was switching to iPhones and using FaceTime, twice a day when possible.
Shorter frequent trips will be less significant, fortunately.
Generally, I prefer when DH travels for longer (like the 4-5 days) one week versus 1 - 2 days each week because we get into our own groove and seems easier. My kids know "daddy is on a work trip" and they now will talk about where he is/that he has a meeting/work and that they can talk to him on the phone. I let them call in the morning to at least leave a message for DH if they want, and we call every night before bed. We used to Skype, but haven't been able to lately. We say a special prayer for daddy to come home safe to us and they like that. My son seems to have a harder time adjusting now that he is 4, but overall they do ok because I do 90% of everything even when DH isn't traveling. I also make sure to do lots of fun stuff during those days (long time at the park, play dates, the zoo) and sometimes we do a "surprise" for daddy - bake, clean something, one week DS potty trained, etc.
GL!
The PPs have great suggestions.
You mentioned that DH will be travelling more for work. I bet DS will get used to his absences as they happen more frequently.
DH travels about 1 week every month or two. He's gone - to Europe, usually Germany - for at least a week at a time. This has been happening since DD was 10 weeks old, so she's quite used to it. We Skype once a day if possible. (With the time change, this is not always easy.)
I travel a few weekends a year sans kid and DH too.
DH and I both make an effort to do extra special things with DD when the other is not around. These include children's museum trips, dinners out at kid friendly restaurants, play dates at new parks and fun meals at home. Also, we have our friends visit or visit our friends more when the other spouse is out of town. We don't have family in the area, so our close friends are our DD's "aunts" and "uncles." She loves the extra time with her urban family. I think it distracts her from the other parent's absence too.
Good luck!