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Just curious...

Meery82Meery82 member
in Attachment Parenting
What do you do (or don't do) that makes you consider yourself an attachment parent? What kinds of things would you consider to not be attachment parenting? (Besides the obvious, like CIO.) It doesn't seem to be a clearly defined topic. TIA!
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Re: Just curious...

  • KateLouiseKateLouise member

    I don't think it's the tool as much as how it's used.

    Yes things like babywearing, extended breastfeeding and bedsharing are easy tools to use as part of the AP approach, but bottle feeding, stroller use, and putting baby in a cot doesn't make you non-AP, or aren't inherently non-AP

    CIO is non-AP because it means ignoring the needs of your child, and the whole philosophy of AP means responding to your baby promptly and gently.

    So I guess to me the only Non-AP thing is to not respond to your child and providing to their needs. That could mean CIO. Or it could mean putting your child in front of the TV for hours while you play on the internet (not saying it's bad to let your child watch TV to some degree, but if it's at the expense of your child's needs for stimulation and communication then that's not ok) It could mean telling them so "snap out of it" when they fall over and bump their knee.

    Does that make sense, or am I waffling? 

     

     

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  • musicalmama5musicalmama5 member

    This is an interesting post, because up until pretty recently I think I misunderstood what AP was. I thought I had to babywear 24/7, bedshare, breastfeed, etc. in order to be AP. By that definition I wasn't necessarily AP. My baby doesn't really care to be worn unless we're on a walk (and even then, he sometimes prefers the stroller because it's mega hot here); when I'm just doing stuff around the house, he is WAY happier in his bouncy seat, Bumbo, floor mat, etc. And as for bedsharing... let's just say that last night we revisited bedsharing, and it SUCKED. I didn't get any sleep, and I don't think my baby got much either. Definitely going back to the crib tonight. That being said, I have supersonic hearing and the instant he starts fussing I go in and get him and nurse him back to sleep.

    So really the only thing I was doing that I thought was AP was breastfeeding. But now I have a different definition of AP which is responding lovingly to my child's needs. By that definition, I'm totally AP! 

     

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  • Meery82Meery82 member
    imageKateLouise:

    I don't think it's the tool as much as how it's used.

    Yes things like babywearing, extended breastfeeding and bedsharing are easy tools to use as part of the AP approach, but bottle feeding, stroller use, and putting baby in a cot doesn't make you non-AP, or aren't inherently non-AP

    CIO is non-AP because it means ignoring the needs of your child, and the whole philosophy of AP means responding to your baby promptly and gently.

    So I guess to me the only Non-AP thing is to not respond to your child and providing to their needs. That could mean CIO. Or it could mean putting your child in front of the TV for hours while you play on the internet (not saying it's bad to let your child watch TV to some degree, but if it's at the expense of your child's needs for stimulation and communication then that's not ok) It could mean telling them so "snap out of it" when they fall over and bump their knee.

    Does that make sense, or am I waffling? 

     

     

    Makes sense. It seems that AP can be difficult to define, but this helps. 

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