Oops! Not a DD One Upper friend

ashleybrown6411 · July 2013

I'm new to this, and I must have just deleted my post somehow!! It was regarding one upping friends...

Winnieella · July 2013

Can you please write out your post again?

Arrgcr · July 2013

How dare u!!! Lol my app messes up sometimes and while I'm typing a response or reply it'll hide and I'll press cancel while still trying to type. Sometimes I start over sometime and im like oh screw it my opinion/advice isn't all that great lol

ashleybrown6411 · July 2013

A friend of mine who already has a child keeps "one upping" my pregnancy, or so I feel. Every time I have an update she doesn't seem excited for me, but instead talks about how her pregnancy was better. An example was when I tole her that we will soon get to find out the sex, she talked about how much sooner she found out. I was aking if anyone else had dealt with this.

ashleybrown6411 · July 2013

Now everyone thinks that I DD'd!

sugarland726 · July 2013

ashleybrown6411:
Now everyone thinks that I DD'd!

No worries! You explained and it was a mistake. That's not really a DD. Big Smile

quidditchcapn1120 · July 2013

My original reply went something like this: Now that I am approaching 30, I have started to avoid one uppers at all cost. However, I don't really think your friend's response was a real one upper type resonse. How good of a friend is she? If she's a BFF, I do find her response kind of weird. I know I would be super excited about my BFF's pregnancy. You never know, she might have her reasons for not being excited. Maybe she is having trouble getting pregnant a second time and so she's trying to relive her previous pregnancy. Or maybe she envisioned you two as pregnant together and she's sad that she's not right now. If she's a good friend, try to give her the benefit of the doubt. If not, it might be time to distance yourself from her.

ashleybrown6411 · July 2013

Her baby is 7 months old. I sure wouldn't be TTC that early, lol! I guess I just feel that I was extremely happy and excited for her when she was pregnant and now after having a MC and finally pregnant again, she would be a little more excited for me. Maybe I'm just emotional.

July1215 · July 2013

quidditchcapn1120:
My original reply went something like this: Now that I am approaching 30, I have started to avoid one uppers at all cost. However, I don't really think your friend's response was a real one upper type resonse. How good of a friend is she? If she's a BFF, I do find her response kind of weird. I know I would be super excited about my BFF's pregnancy. You never know, she might have her reasons for not being excited. Maybe she is having trouble getting pregnant a second time and so she's trying to relive her previous pregnancy. Or maybe she envisioned you two as pregnant together and she's sad that she's not right now. If she's a good friend, try to give her the benefit of the doubt. If not, it might be time to distance yourself from her.

This is good advice. I just wanted to add that there is also the possibility that she really enjoyed her pregnancy and misses that time in her life, so talking to you brings up memories. if it bothers you, try not to talk to her much about your

Another idea would be to consider giving her the opportunity to share then it won't be as annoying and then she may be more willing to listen. For example, ask when she found out the sex of her baby and let her tell and then talk about your pregnancy.

July1215 · July 2013

Bump burp

July1215 · July 2013

ashleybrown6411:
Her baby is 7 months old. I sure wouldn't be TTC that early, lol! I guess I just feel that I was extremely happy and excited for her when she was pregnant and now after having a MC and finally pregnant again, she would be a little more excited for me. Maybe I'm just emotional.

is there a possibility that she is excited and her way of showing that is by sharing her experiences with you? Like PP said, it depends on how close you are, but I know women like to talk about their pregnancy experiences because it truly is an amazing experience. Good or bad.

ashleybrown6411 · July 2013

July1215:
Bump burp[/quote

??

hopeful808 · July 2013

Please remember that you can't expect others to be as excited as you are about your pregnancy. Especially, about itty bitty things like finding out the sex soon. That's not really earth shattering news for people who aren't the pregnant one. If that was her reaction to you telling her the sex of your baby then I'd be more concerned.

What type of reaction were you looking for? Personally, I wouldn't know how to react to news like that. Congrats isn't really appropriate, neat sounds strange... In situations like that I generally share a similar experience or say that's great if I haven't had any similar experiences. I'm not trying to one up the person there just isn't much to say in situations like that.

ashleybrown6411 · July 2013

hopeful808:
Please remember that you can't expect others to be as excited as you are about your pregnancy. Especially, about itty bitty things like finding out the sex soon. That's not really earth shattering news for people who aren't the pregnant one. If that was her reaction to you telling her the sex of your baby then I'd be more concerned.nbsp;What type of reaction were you looking for? Personally, I wouldn't know how to react to news like that. Congrats isn't really appropriate, neat sounds strange... In situations like that I generally share a similar experience or say that's great if I haven't had any similar experiences. nbsp;I'm not trying to one up the person there just isn't much to say in situations like that. nbsp;

I guess I expected something more than a "hmm I found out way sooner". She know the hurt I went through when I miscarried and i guess i expected her to understand my excitement now that I'm pregnant again.

jknauer8 · July 2013

I actually agree with you OP...you're not just being emotional. I would be upset too.

ashleybrown6411 · July 2013

jknauer8:
I actually agree with you OP...you're not just being emotional. I would be upset too.

Thank you!

ashleybrown6411 · July 2013

jknauer8:
I actually agree with you OP...you're not just being emotional. I would be upset too.

Thank you!

Winnieella · July 2013

I would be upset too. I did have an experience where a friend was always one upper my wedding (she had hers over a year before mine). She got so bad that I just had to stop being friends with her.

yogi1012 · July 2013

Maybe she is just jealous that she isn't the one pregnant, might be having baby blues and feels like she was more blissful pregnant than as a mommy. Sometimes people just like talking about themselves too!

lolinshag · July 2013

Is anyone humming "dirty deletes...done dirt cheap"? It is going to be stuck in my head all night!
OP I wasn't saying you DD'd. Just laughing about the tune. On the original topic, I catch myself starting to oneup people all the time. I stop when I realize I am doing it, but sometimes it slips. BTW, if I do that to anyone on here FLAME ME!!

July1215 · July 2013

OP...

a bump burp is when the bump double posts something. I edited the second post and added bump burp, so the whole thing wasn't there twice.

ashleybrown6411 · July 2013

July1215:
OP...a bump burp is when the bump double posts something. I edited the second post and added bump burp, so the whole thing wasn't there twice. nbsp;

Gotcha, thanks!

ashleybrown6411 · July 2013

lolinshag:
Is anyone humming "dirty deletes...done dirt cheap"? It is going to be stuck in my head all night!
OP I wasn't saying you DD'd. Just laughing about the tune. On the original topic, I catch myself starting to oneup people all the time. I stop when I realize I am doing it, but sometimes it slips. BTW, if I do that to anyone on here FLAME ME!!

If you weren't saying I DD'd, then why did you feel the need to say that? It was an accident. If it was a true DD, I wouldn't have reposted.

ashleybrown6411 · July 2013

lolinshag:
Is anyone humming "dirty deletes...done dirt cheap"? It is going to be stuck in my head all night!
OP I wasn't saying you DD'd. Just laughing about the tune. On the original topic, I catch myself starting to oneup people all the time. I stop when I realize I am doing it, but sometimes it slips. BTW, if I do that to anyone on here FLAME ME!!

If you weren't saying I DD'd, then why did you feel the need to say that? It was an accident. If it was a true DD, I wouldn't have reposted.

bethughknee · July 2013

If I were you, OP I would also feel annoyed and maybe have my feelings a little hurt. People don't have to feel over the moon for me but if it's someone I had confided in about a loss and was now not able to just even say "That's great!" when you say you'll learn the sex soon, I'd find myself pretty cranky.

Tommy Toppers are all on my sh*t list and they seem to come out of the woodwork when you're making babies. If it were me, I'd stop offering info. If she asks, answer but otherwise, talk to someone else when you want to blab about baby. (We're here!)

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