I'd never!!!

HereWeGo2014 · July 2013

Ok, we seem pretty slow and boring today, so lets discuss.

STM+ moms - what are things you said you'd never do with 1st LO, and did you stick with it or not?

FTM moms - what are things you swear you'll never do with your LOs?

shakespearenluv · July 2013

I said I would never co-sleep. Oops! Did it with both kids

I also said I would never NIP. But by my second child I realized that it was my prerogative and right to nurse whenever and where ever I needed to.

BirdieToldMe · July 2013

I swore I would never, ever bed share. Well, DS and DD loved it as newborns. I didn't do it past 12 weeks (I'm now very strict about them not coming into our bed) but when they were so tiny, they slept GREAT all snuggled up close to me. I could easily BF and we all slept like a rock. I made my life with a newborn very, very difficult when we brought our first home. I was sobbing and exhausted. As soon as he came in the bed with me, my entire life got easier. (And yes, I took major precautions and was extremely comfortable with our setup.)

I also swore I would feed my baby every three hours and get him on a good feeding schedule. I think that this is a great goal ... that only works sometimes. Other times, you throw the book out the window and realize that your LO didn't read the same book as you did.

Kid #3 is going to go with the flow, mainly because that's how I parent now.

insertclevername · July 2013

I try to block out who I was prior to having DS. I am pretty sure I was one of those people that knew how to be an amazing parent prior to having any experience with kids of my own. Judgy Mcjudgerson.

HereWeGo2014 · July 2013

I'm not sure I swore I'd NEVER do something, but there are lots of things I didn't think i would do or judged before.

I never wanted to drive a mini-van or have a DVD player in the car. Well, I still refuse the minivan and while we don't have a DVD player, DD has a child's tablet she plays on quite often, so I'm not sure its any better.

I didn't want to co-sleep with DD as an infant for safety concerns, and i didn't. however, at about 2-3yrs she ended up in our bed for a variety of reasons... and still often is.

I had swore we wouldn't use a sound machine and that she would learn to sleep through noisy times... that homedics Lullaby Sound Spa was the BEST BUY EVER.

There are so many of the other "typical" ones as well, no TV before 2, no soda or juice, make my own baby food, etc. I've become WAY more relaxed on all of it, although she still didn't get much soda before 2 or 3, and we still don't drink it often anyhow.

The 2 things I AM proud of is that I met my goal of never having to do formula (great since she was soy and dairy intolerant and I stayed home for 6 months, then worked at her daycare) AND she is a great eater and not very picky. I've been adamant about never saying a food is yucky or gross and letting her make her own opinions, she ate chicken livers with grandpa and is willing to try most items.

Piach · July 2013

I actually had this discussion with my FIL last night.

I will be honest and I think that I had a pretty healthy approach FT momhood and I don't think that I used the words "never."

Things I stuck to my guns on:

- Breastfed exclusively for 6 months, pumped at work until 12 months & let DD self-wean (around 14 months)

- Made my own baby food

Things I caved on:

- Bedsharing. I never really co-slept officially, but when I went back to work, DD would get her morning (around 5am) feeding in our bed and we would sleep together until I got up for work

- Eating in the car. With a toddler, it is survival mode, and if a pack of goldfish will keep the starning child happy, I can clean my car more.

goldenB · July 2013

I will never spank my children.

dland0201 · July 2013

FTM here, I don't feel like there are things that I will never do, but there are things I would like to try and not do. My husband however has a never and it's no soda until the LO is a teenager/adult. I agree soda is bad but I'm just not sure how realistic this is.

ccip82 · July 2013

STM

Things I'd thought I would never do:

BF for 19 months and counting

BF in public..did it all the time when DD was younger

Let my children watch tv under the age of three

Give my children juice (DD gets about 10% juice 90% water in her sippy)

CD (we started when DD was 6 months old)

Give candy (DD occasionally will get a M&M when she helps clean up her toys)

salsamommy · July 2013

shakespearenluv:
I said I would never co-sleep. Oops! Did it with both kids
I also said I would never NIP. But by my second child I realized that it was my prerogative and right to nurse whenever and where ever I needed to.

THIS ... BOTH!! I always snickered at friends that had their kids sleeping with them ... but it ended up being more convenient to just have my boob out for an all you can eat buffet for DS, then get up, go to the nursery, sit in a glider (which i didn't have) and then struggle to get back to sleep ... he slept in his bassinet for about 4 months ... and then it was co-sleeping ... This time, I'm going to really try my hardest to keep LO in the crib!!!

I'm still Breastfeeding ... DS is over 2 years old and refuses to give up the boob!!! I again said I wouldn't be pregnant nursing, I said I wouldn't nurse past 18 months ... but low and behold ... I'm still nursing!!! Trying to wean at the moment, but it is SO difficult!!!!!!

Mommasay0 · July 2013

shakespearenluv:
I said I would never cosleep. Oops! Did it with both kids :I also said I would never NIP. But by my second child I realized that it was mynbsp;prerogative and rightnbsp;to nurse whenever and where ever I needed to.

This exactly, but I still won't NIP without a cover, it makes me uncomfortable, I'm working on it tho I will nurse at my parents house without a cover and at home with the door and windows open without a cover. But never in a restaurant or the mall unless I have a cover.

bensmommy518 · July 2013

I always said I would never co sleep and I started doing this like the second week and loved it. If you are breastfeeding it really is the only way to go - I would never have survived being a working mother without it - DS didn't start sleeping through the night until 10 1/2 months old and before that he would eat every 2-3 hours all night long.

Dishylo · July 2013

If there's one thing I've learned (and really....there might just be one thing!) it's to never say never.

I don't think I'll bed-share but it's more for safety reasons as DH is a crazy sleeper and takes up half the bed and moved around a lot!

I don't want my kids to grow up on pop, candies and fast food. I want to eat at home and go to restaurants every once in a while as a treat. When I was growing up, we got pop as a treat when Mom and Dad went out and we had a sitter. Now I rarely drink pop and I think it's because it wasn't the norm for me growing up.

Ideally I'm able to breast feed and it might take a while to bf in public but I will try although I won't feel bad or guilty if I have to use a cover. If I'm comfortable, then LO will be comfortable - right?

I will be the bad cop and DH will be the good cop. I know this already and I'm ok with it.

FSUNole31 · July 2013

I said DS would be in his crib from night one and we did really well with that for nights. He napped in the pack and play bassinet for the first few months, but it was nice having him near me during the day. I thought I would make my own baby food, but that just didn't happen. He did just fine on pre-made food though so it was fine. I am sure I have others, I just can't remember.

wiechs22 · July 2013

I swore I would never cosleep. Finally my mom who had been coming over to clean and watch DS when he was first born so I could nap she told me I don't move at all in my sleep. After that it happened. He also slept in the swing for some time that first month.

I also swore he wouldn't watch tv. Mickey Mouse was a life saver on long car rides.

Food wise I have been pretty laid back. Still no pop though and I plan on sticking with that.

Jen4033 · July 2013

I said I'd never give him pop.. have been able to stick with that so far. Not sure how long I wanted to nix it completely, but it was a Milk, water or juice at all meals plan. DH is one who would think it is funny to let him try a sip to see what he thinks, but I think he'd be whistling a different tune when DS starts throwing a tantrum because he wants it so bad.

One thing I didn't stick with is no tv, but he doesn't see it at all at day care so when I get home in the evening there is a list of routine things I need to accomplish to keep our household running. An hour of somethign age appropriate for him will not hurt.

vstevens · July 2013

STM, said I would never:

Give formula (I EBF'ed until 6 months, pumped at work until 9 months, and then said eff this and weaned. I do not know how EP moms do it, I really don't.)

Allow TV before 2 (DS started watching Sesame Street in the mornings with MH at about 18 months)

Allow a paci after 6 months (DS still has one for naps / sleep, we keep it hidden during the day)

Give juice (Actually, this one I pretty much stuck to, mostly because MH and I do not drink juice at all. This summer, I did start making him juice popsicles because other kids were having them at the park, but the artificial colors in popsicles gross me out.)

I do not plan to say "I never" with respect to anything with #2. I will go with the flow, which is what we do now. Whatever works, as long as it's a relatively responsible choice Smile

KimberlyTX · July 2013

I was never going to co-sleep. DD slept for the first four weeks of her life on my chest. I don't know if that was the reason, but she easily transitioned out of our room (where she went to the RnP after the first 4 weeks) to her crib at 4 months, and she has always been a good night sleeper.

I was going to make my own baby good. I tried a few things when DD was 6 months, and she wouldn't eat anything. She actually didn't eat anything other than BM until she was 9 months old, at which point I started getting jarred food and pouches.

I was able to stick with by BFing goals (DD never had formula and self-weaned at 15.5 months), and I think DD is a pretty adventurous eater who doesn't get soda or junk food.

valigrl21 · July 2013

I thought I would never let DD watch TV, play with iPads/iPhones/etc until 3.

That didn't last long. Sometimes as a parent, you need to get things done, those things can help! And be educational at the same time.

I also thought I would never make a different meal for DD. I thought I would make one family meal that was so nice and healthy and we would all eat it. Ha ha....what actually happens is I make a healthy meal, DD throws it on the ground, refuses to eat and then is cranky 20 minutes later.

So I compromised on that one - DD can have PB&Js or mac & cheese for lunch every day. But dinner she does have to try what we have. Usually with something else just for her that I know she will eat. And then before bed, she gets a healthy snack, usually a "green" smoothie.

sugarland726 · July 2013

I didn't have any hard and fast rules that I said "I never..." on because that's just stupid. There were things I didn't want to do, but so much of parenting is making a rough plan and trying to steer the boat that way, but reassessing as things don't go that way. We've pretty much stuck with what we thought we'd do on most things.

BirdieToldMe · July 2013

I'm chuckling at the minivan answers. I used to totally ridicule moms who did this and now I would love to have one. I'll be doing three across in my SUV and it is totally doable but it would be way, way, wayyyyyy more convenient to have a minivan. The kids could just push a button and shut the door. No injuries and no damage to my car or the other car next to us! Also, I have a very narrow garage and it's nearly impossible to get in and out. We don't like car payments and I do love my (Acura MDX) SUV. It's plenty big enough. I just wish I could give it to DH and get a Honda Odyssey for me. I can't even believe I'm writing that but it's true. It would make my day-to-day life so much easier and road trips would be a pleasure with all the kids having their own space and watching a movie or whatever. I can dream!

pennstated912 · July 2013

My brother got my nephew a helmet to wear when he was learning to walk.

I guarantee you I will NEVER do that.

PreDempsey · July 2013

I can't say I'll never do one thing or the next but ideally my children won't have pop and fast food for as long as humanly possible.

I take that back, as a server in my past life I will never order a $6 dish of kraft mac and cheese and have them not eat a bite of it. Good thing we don't eat out a lot.

juliasmama2010 · July 2013

I was adamant against co sleeping. DH was all for it. We had her in the bassinet for probably the first two weeks in our room and every stinking noise woke me up. She was a full time crib sleeper at two weeks and that was the best thing for all of us. Glad I stuck with my guns on that one or else I never would've slept!!!

I didn't want to have the kid that was constantly taking my phone or always watching movies. We've done well with the phone thing, movies not so much. I'm usually tired after work and cave and throw in a movie while I cook dinner.

I wanted to BF for at least 6 months but sadly, my milk never came in. I tried to pump and was only getting half an ounce out of each breast after 20 minutes. So we bought formula. I'm going to try to be more patient this time around and utilize local support from the hospital and try to make this work. Formula is way to expensive and I really don't want to do it again.

OSUWifey09 · July 2013

I didn't want to co-sleep, but I did. That's really the only thing I was set against with DS. I think I have a bigger list of things I want to do with this LO [try harder to BF, make my own baby food, use a baby sling etc.] than things I'm set again. And if those things don't happen with this LO, that's fine.

HereWeGo2014 · July 2013

PreDempsey:

I can't say I'll never do one thing or the next but ideally my children won't have pop and fast food for as long as humanly possible.

I take that back, as a server in my past life I will never order a $6 dish of kraft mac and cheese and have them not eat a bite of it. Good thing we don't eat out a lot.

I laughed at this, and only because we JUST DID THIS! Ughh!!! Although it was NOT Kraft mac & Cheese, it was still mac & cheese. And i swore last time we were there she liked it, but oh no, not this time. So frustrating!!!

LexGator · July 2013

I quickly learned that never is a dangerous word when you're a mama, especially when you're pregnant and really don't know what you're in for.

I said I'd never bedshare. Then, I had a newborn who would only sleep ON me, and I didn't lay down in a bed (at all) for the first two months of her life. I finally brought her into our bed, and things got much easier. I felt a lot of guilt about it, but looking back, bedsharing safely was a very good decision for us and helped both of us get more sleep.

One thing I was very serious about was breastfeeding -- I was determined to do it for at least a year. I ended up doing it for 18 months, and DD was exclusively breastfed until we introduced solids at six months. So, sometimes things go your way...and sometimes they don't.

sugarland726 · July 2013

PreDempsey:

I take that back, as a server in my past life I will never order a $6 dish of kraft mac and cheese and have them not eat a bite of it. Good thing we don't eat out a lot.

LOL. Here's a situation that happened two weeks ago while on vacation. We went out to eat and read DD the menu of things she'd like. She picked fish. She wanted ice cream afterwards and we told her she needed to eat some of it to get ice cream. We asked and she repeated the instructions no less than a dozen times while waiting for the food to come. Meals came. She refused all of it. She understood perfectly well that meant no ice cream. She chose her meal. We would have ordered her anything. But she refused. Toddlers are unpredictable. Short of holding them on the ground and forcing food in their mouth, there is nothing you can do to make them eat. And dear God, please don't ever do that.

hopeful808 · July 2013

I don't plan on cosleeping because the way that my DH and I move in our sleep would be dangerous to an infant. Also, I do not plan on being a short order cook. Growing up my mom only made one meal and we ate it. But, she did it the right way and have liked foods with unliked foods. That way there was always something my sister and I would eat in a meal but we still had to try everything that was on the table.

knottie3c0525a8a3c64eaa · July 2013

Using a nose Frida. I thought they were so gross and now I cannot live without one. I finally got one when my son was 8 months. my toddler appreciates it now since it helps him breathe. He actually places it in his nose.

gina0485 · July 2013

I don't know about 'nevers' but I do have some goals as a FTM:

1) I'd like to breastfeed a minimum of 6 months (ideally 9-12) and be able to pump/supply breast milk exclusively until my baby's ready to start engaging in some solid foods at his or her choice. As a working mom-to-be, this is a lofty goal, but I'm going to try darn it!

2) As a sort of different goal, I want to make sure I continue to build my relationship with my DH - I don't want him to feel left out or not wanted and I really don't want my marriage to suffer, so I am going to do my best to balance being both a wife and mother.

Other than that, I have no expectations, some 'wants' and a loose 'plan' but I think I'm going to take a more go with the flow approach.

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