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Natural Birth
cyprissa
member
Homebirth Transfer to Hospital...
cyprissa
member
So, I had DS2 on Saturday and it was quite eventful. He is healthy and so am I but I'm having a really hard time processing it right now and am just pretty depressed overall about my experience. Anyone have to transfer and if so...how do you now feel about your experience? If you are interested...my story is below.
To start off, I had an amazing, peaceful just awesome birth center birth with DS1 two years ago so I decided to do a homebirth with #2 with the same practice of CNMs. Pregnancy was textbook healthy and things were great.
At 39 weeks and 4 days, my water broke with a small gush at 6 AM. I called the midwives to let them know that today would be the day and around 7AM contractions started. They were sporadic at first, 8 mins, 2 mins, 10 mins but by 8 AM they settled into a good pattern of every 3-4 mins lasting about a minute long. My first was really fast so the birth team assembled pretty early with my birth assistant (also a CNM) arriving first. Once the midwife and student midwife arrived, my labor slowed a bit and contractions spaced out until about 9:30 AM. I noticed them checking me pretty aggressively with the doppler but no one had said that there was a possibility of a problem.
I went back to my bedroom and at this point labor really picked up. Contractions were coming every 2 mins and DH was using counter pressure and helping me get through. Around 10:45 I needed a position change so my birth assistant helped me climb on the bed and lie on my left side and then things went crazy. Within 5 minutes I was in serious transition and starting to feel very pushy but next thing I know they are telling me that we are transferring to the hospital. I was completely taken aback. They said heart tones were not what they should be and they didn't think I was going to deliver fast enough to stay. I told them I was starting to feel the urge to push but the decision was to go anyway.
The EMTs arrived and through sheer force of will I walked to the ambulance. I was still completely in shock and my labor really stalled although the contractions I had were still incredibly painful. We got to the hospital like 5 mins later and they brought me directly to L&D where they put me on EFM. It was very quickly dtermined that although baby's heart rate was dipping into the upper 90s there was plenty of variability and no emergency. They took me off the oxygen and didn't even end up starting IV fluids.
However, it was the first day of a new computer system so there were literally 20 people coming in and out of the room trying to figure out how to enter me into the system and it was like a 3 ring circus.
My contractions started coming on fast and strong again and without my focus and lying in that bed with so many people and very little comfort measures I started to absolutely loose it. The OB came in and checked me and said I was 7 cm (I had been almost 10 at my house) and I completely freaked. I was just being over taken by freight train level contractions one on top of another and could not deal. My midwife stepped into the crazy chaos and took charge of me and started calming me down and getting my focus back.
Within 15 minutes I was starting to feel super pushy again and my body was wracked with involuntary pushes. The OB wasn't there and my MW doesn't have privileges at that hospital so another MW came running in and was giving me some counter pressure to make the pushing more comfortable but then the OB came back and hell broke loose again. She basically made them crank my leg back. I was in side lying position and not ready for that and the pain was immense. I was also half off the bed the way they were holding my legs. Pushing was so intensely painful and I thought I would rip in two. It was not that bad with DS1. Luckily, he was out with 3 pushes and no tearing. On the positive, they respected my wishes for delayed cord clamping and immediate skin to skin and the OB was hands off with delivery of the placenta. They also let us have an hour of bonding before any newborn procedures. DS had Apgars of 8, 9, 9 and was 8 lbs and 20 in.
His cord was very short and that is most likely what caused the low heart tones. From a clinical perspective, transfer was the right thing. However from an emotional one, it is pretty devastating. It is even harder when I think about my awesome birth with DS2.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Homebirth Transfer to Hospital...
I tried to have a homebirth with DD1 two years ago and ended up transferring. My transfer was because I had pushed for at least 4 hours, was having horrid back labor, and my midwife felt that transfer was our best option. I ended up having a C section in the end, which made the whole thing worse. The doctor that did my section actually said to my face that I was "the failed homebirther".
I had a really rough time dealing with the outcome as well. I knew it was the best option at the time, and just knowing that, and knowing my midwife made the right decision, helped me cope. It took a good 6 months to feel ok about it, and to not feel ashamed about telling people what ended up happening.
I am pregnant with my second and am doing a HBAC with the same midwife, so I am hoping for a better outcome this time. I can understand how hard it must be for you, especially since you had such a good experience last time. It sounds like your midwife was wonderful, and just keep reminding yourself that you did everything right, and in time you will feel better about your birth experience.
First off congratulations!
Second, I think it's completely normal to feel disappointed that things did not turn out as you would have wished. I can relate in a very tiny way. I didn't have a homebirth transfer to hospital like you, but DD2's birth was not calm and peaceful like DD1's birth.
Long story short, my labor was fast and furious. I felt very out of control compared to when I had DD1. I arrived at the hospital and was 10 centimeters. It was chaotic, as DH barely got there in time (literally 4 mins before she was born) and the hospital staff was running around trying to get everything set up. It almost felt like I had this out of body experience and I kept thinking, what the heck just happened. I am sure you probably felt very similar feelings due to your transfer.
Afterwards, I felt cheated and sad about it. I kept telling myself that I shouldn't feel that way because I got my natural birth. But I did feel that way and it took me a few days to process it and to focus on the good qualities of DD2's birth like how it was very short, haha. Talking about it helped a lot.
We transferred from homebirth to hospital as well though things were much less chaotic for us. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that - very emotionally traumatising even though the right decision was made to go to hospital (though I'm sure it doesn't feel that way).
When we transferred it was much earlier in labour. I was 5cm and baby was not engaging and tucked behind my hip. My contractions were three back-to-back, a small break and then three more back-to-back. My midwife was concerned we would need interventions and I did not want to continue on without something for the pain if I was going to require forceps or a c/s anyway. DH and I were able to make our way to the hospital in our own time as it was not an emergency. It took FOREVER just to get me in to the car but we managed, eventually. Things picked up after I had an epi and Pitocin, my contractions regulated and baby engaged. I delivered my 8lb 12ozer without any tearing which I was very grateful for.
My hospital experience was a positive one though I do plan on a homebirth again this time. I hope you can come to peace with your birth - I'm so glad your wishes after birth were respected. Congratulations on your new baby!
We had almost the opposite of you in that for DD2 we had a planned hospital birth turn into an unassisted homebirth.
So although we didn't have the same issues you had, I think I can relate a little because for DD1 it was a lovely clam birth experience in the hospital and I really enjoyed it.
For DD2 it was fast and frantic and frightening. Although it was only 15 minutes from realising the baby was being born at home and DH would be delivering her, to her being born, it was a really stressful 15 minutes.
I spent a few days thinking, "I don't want any more babies, I can't face that stress again."
In hindsight, it's a funny story, and I love that DH delivered her, and I'm over the stress, but I regret that I couldn't get into a good headspace in the moment and enjoy it.
So I think, regardless of how your birth pans out, that it's common to regret aspects of it.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
More Green For Less Green
Thanks so much for sharing your detailed description. Honestly this is my biggest fear for my planned birth center birth. I believe you are with BirthCare? That is where I also plan to go. I wonder if you feel any differently after a few days processing time, if you still think they did the right thing in moving you, and what hospital you ended up at. Is there any better arrangement you could have imagined to make this go better for you? I am a ftm and nervous about all contingencies but also like the atmosphere a lot at birthcare, compared to where I was before (GW).
I am with Birthcare and still love them and the care I received. Honestly, it was a tough call and they made the decision that they had to make. They have a practice to protect and I completely understand that a hint or suggestion that there might be an issue is enough for them to transfer. It wasn't ideal under the circumstances but preferable to a cavalier attitude towards safety.
I do wish that they had given meat e even just 5 more mins because I was starting to feel the urge to push. Say la vie though who knows if it really would have happened that quickly even though I think it would have.
I'm still feeling pretty down about it but I'm trying to focus on the positives. I was transferred to Innova Alexandria and BC's backup was not at the hospital so a doc from Physicians and Midwives was the one at the hospital...Dr. Selgado. She was fine...not used to dealing with unmedicated patients but also not judgmental or super interventionist from what I experienced. She was very hands off with the placenta delivery and generally relaxed although was the one pushing to have them crank my leg up which was troubling for me. The nurses were very kind and the one in LD even made some positive comments about not having to abandon my birth plan and that natural deliveries are great because you can get up and move around right away. Also, Dr. Selgado did stop in to my room the next morning and told me how brave I was.
The worst part for me was the sheer volume of people in the room. It was chaos and insane. At one point there were 20 people in there for no discernible reason. Plus the computer system rollout made things a million times worse. That's and the way pushing went are the parts I'm having a hard time with.
Would I still attempt a homebirth after this transfer.....yes. Especially in light of my awesome birth center experience. It's worth trying...although preregister at a hospital, write a hospital birth plan and have it printed and available to your birth assistant and midwife and have a bag packed just in case. Luckily, DH is a rock and was amazing for both me and the birth team. He's a combat vet so this was nothing for him. If your partner doesn't deal well with situations like this then I would spend some time talking to him and prepping.
I'm pretty sure we were with the same CNM group in Alexandria - I also was a hospital transfer and it took a long time for me to process what happened. It sounds like you handled everything well and you were in good hands the whole time even though the surroundings were chaotic.
The midwife group at GW has really impressive vaginal & natural birth rates and they do have privileges at the hospital, so they're very much in charge of how you're treated there. I had a really healing experience going through my birth history with their head midwife - just throwing out another option.