TTC Checkin

KH826 · July 2013

I am mobile bumping for the first time since I can't seem to get on the board with my laptop and my iPad is at home... Anywho, if you are actively TTC or taking a break or in the planning/learning stages, let's hear your updates!

QOTD: What is the biggest misconception no pun intended you had about TTC before you started, that you have learned through experience is so not true? If you haven't started trying yet, what are expecting/hoping your TTC journey will teach you?

KH826 · July 2013

Today is CD13 for me. No smiley on my OPK indicating an LH surge. We are timing the IUI this month on our own without an u/s and we aren't using the trigger shot. We are hoping to reduce our costs a little and also to allow my body to ovulate on its own when it is ready. We haven't had luck yet with the trigger and I don't need it to O, so we figured why not try a little less intervention and see what happens. My RE agreed to this approach for this cycle, so this is what we are trying.

I also have my 2nd acupuncture appointment tonight. First one went well. I haven't posted about it since I have had trouble accessing the board since last week...

So we are on track for our 5th IUI later this week. I am thinking Wed or Thurs, but we will have to wait and see what my body does. Not sure if I am hopeful or not about this cycle...

QOTD: biggest misconception was that this would be easy and I would handle any small challenges in stride. I have learned patience still working on that one, I have learned how to live outside of my comfort zone, and I have learned that people often can not control their own fertility. The path we are on is our's to follow and navigate, but we don't always get to decide what direction we are going.

keepsawaythenargles · July 2013

Morning!

AF started this AM so I called the RE's office (which felt like calling a radio station to win Justin Bieber tickets or something because it was busy for over an hour when they first opened) and scheduled my day 3 blood work and left a voicemail to schedule my HSG womp womp...

I had K call her PCP so she can get her necessary blood work done and then I need to get the guts to call the required counselor to get our mandatory meeting with her scheduled.

Later today I have to go pick up my pre-natals and start those again more diligently and I think I may pick up one of those thermometer things!

QOTD: I didn't realize how MUCH was involved in TTC. The blood work, the counseling, the testing, the waiting OH the waiting. But we're just starting so hopefully I can keep up a positive attitude

lbugher · July 2013

Waiting... waiting... waiting for Aunt Flo. I've had cramps and spotting for a couple days and that's gone away. Agitated and frustrated because I haven't been able to use my OPKs since I haven't had my period since the end of May. I can't do my first IUI until my next period. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah... And my obsessing over it is REALLY not helping. Just bleed, uterus, BLEED! I want to move forward with the process! I want my baby!

QOTD: What is the biggest misconception no pun intended you had about TTC before you started, that you have learned through experience is so not true? If you haven't started trying yet, what are expecting/hoping your TTC journey will teach you?

My biggest misconception: how easy it would be. I thought it would be as simple as ordering an at-home sperm kit and figured it would cost a couple hundred bucks, we'd randomly do it at home and bam, one of us would be instantly knocked up. In high school they certainly made it SOUND that easy. Like, if you have sex without a condom, you WILL get pregnant. Just once and you'll have a baby! So I carried that with me through my 20's and into my 30's. Thinking to myself, yeah, sure! It'll be so simple!

Nope. Not so much, especially as a lesbian. Reading about the odds of ICI vs. IUI vs. IVF... I quickly learned that it's not so easy, and that timing has to be perfect, and you have to plan ahead, and holy cow, the expense! I had no idea it would cost so much. It will all be worth it, I'm sure. But it gets overwhelming. I wish someone would make a manual about what to expect when trying to have a baby in a lesbian/single-woman situation. Maybe I should start writing...

ball.and.chain · July 2013

Hi everyone! This week has been kind of up and down, TTC wise. On Tuesday I went to my RE's office for karyotyping, which we should have the results of this week or next. I'm glad I got it done but a little anxious that something will be wrong. On Thursday I went to the midwife for my post D and C follow up appointment. The good news is things seem to be progressing; my HCG is down to 32 which is fine for 2 to 3 weeks after the procedure. The bad news was that the pathology report came back saying there was no fetal tissue found to test for issues. The midwife said she'd try to get clarification from the OBGYN on that because I didn't really understand what it meant, given that I know there was fetal tissue in my uterus, but based on my research it seems that this is not necessarily an unusual situation. The bottom line is, we will not get any information about this pregnancy or why it failed.

I have a follow up appointment with my RE on 8/2 to discuss karyotyping results and talk about how we will proceed with the next FET. My wife and I have been talking about whether we should try putting 2 embryos in this time. Due to the increased health risks of a multiples pregnancy, the increased stress of raising multiples and the increased cost of daycare for two infants, we have been really careful to minimize our risks of having multiples, and we've transferred only one embryo both times, which has also been in line with my RE's recommendations. But this time we have to thaw 2 embryos because they are frozen in pairs, and if we transfer only 1, the other embryo may not survive refreeze and thaw again. That fact combined with my track record with miscarriages, my exhaustion with this process after 2 years of TTC, my 35th birthday, and my lack of enthusiasm for going through this process a second time for a second baby are all making me reconsider my position on single vs double embryo transfers. But we aren't making any final decisions until after we've discussed the issue with the RE.

QOTD: I read the Brill and Pepper books on lesbian conception and pregnancy before we started the process, so I was pretty well informed about the issues and difficulties that could arise. I hoped that I wouldn't have any trouble, but I knew it was possible. I was surprised, however, by how emotional the process has been; on the other hand, I've also been surprised by how far we've come in the last two years and how much we've found ourselves able to handle. I remember saying there was no way I would want to do this for more than a year, but here we are at the two year mark and not done yet!

firstcomeslove2013 · July 2013

Hello bumpers!

I am feeling very down about our TTC journey today. We have a sit down consultation with our OB office today...I am worried something is wrong, I am worried something is not wrong...I am worried we are going to go broke, I am worried we are never going to start our family. We had talked about C trying next since I've gone 5 IUIs with no results...but she has been so supportive and wants me to keep trying because she knows how bad I want to be pregnant. I am feeling selfish and bratty and unsure what will happen. I know people have had more IUIs than us and I know there are people out there with serious infertility issues so I should be grateful but I am feeling a lot of sadness and stress.

My spouse is so supportive and wonderful, there isn't enough thank yous or gratitude I could offer to her.

As far as the QOTD: I NEVER thought it would be this hard to get pregnant. We read a lesbian conception book, talked to some couples and really compared our journey to other people and their journey...which was a bad idea.

healz413 · July 2013

I finally finished my period, which doesn't really mean anything for TTC because we aren't cycling now. But it was my first period on birth control which I'm taking to control my endo. I'd built up most of my lining by the time I started BC so about 2.5 weeks into the pill I got my period for 6 days! I'm usually a 3 day person with some spotting on day 4. This period was no less painful than my standard period either, and I was hoping that it would be now that they've taken out a lot of my endo.
We are waiting until the fall to TTC again. The tentative plan, I believe, is that we will do two or three more IUIs with M in the fall since we have four vials of sperm already purchased. If we don't get pregnant then we will do IVF with me early in the new year probably.
We officially gave notice on the house we rent and will be moving to an apartment Oct 1. That prospect is a bit nerve wracking but is definitely the right financial decision for us.

QOTD: M and I had the advantage of taking a Dkes Planning Tykes course in Toronto that gave us a lot of the information we needed and helped us think through a lot of issues. But I would never have guessed that we would both be dealing with infertility issues, how much we would end up spending, or how many things would stand in the way of us getting knocked up.

healz413 · July 2013

firstcomeslove2013:
I am feeling selfish and bratty and unsure what will happen. I know people have had more IUIs than us and I know there are people out there with serious infertility issues so I should be grateful but I am feeling a lot of sadness and stress

I do not think you are selfish or bratty to be upset! 5 IUIs is a lot of time, emotional and physical energy, and money. In addition, while it in no way means that you cannot get pregnant through IUI, it does start to raise questions about how easy it will be, as you know. I think it is fair to be upset and concerned.
And I think it is also totally ok to feel not ready to stop trying.
If IVF is not an option financially, would you ever consider a known donor? Some people seem to have no luck and clinics with frozen sperm but get pregnant relatively easily with fresh, while other people are totally the opposite. M and I have discussed this possibility for us and don't feel ready to try a known donor yet, especially because we don't have good options for one, but it is on our list of things to potentially try if IVF doesn't work for us.
I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this. I hope that your OB has suggestions that will help.
I'm mobile bumping so I can't see your signature and don't remember if you had an HSG. I think you did. If you didn't, I would recommend it. That's how we found out about my tube issue originally.
Good luck and hugs!

bundleoluv11 · July 2013

well this all different to me. I had sex with a man to have a child and now for me to have a child through iui's and frozen sperm was so different. I had done two iui's this year and no preggo! So my ob/gyn has me start clomid 50 mg and I had my period and on day 3 I started my very first round of clomid. So this is all new i'm scared like hell ! but, I want this baby so bad that I will do whatever it takes to get here. So, ot everyone who is trying I truly understand how you all feel and this is why im here to learn and hope help someone in this ttc process

shelly2314 · July 2013

Same as before...taking this month off. We should be able to try again around the 1st or 2nd week in August. We shall see. I am really just trying to heal emotionally after my BFP then a BFN...stupid HPT.

QOTD...I think my biggest misconception would be that I would be able to handle BFN easily and move on. I also didn't think it would take forever to get through to our first IUI (blood test issues and whatnot).

Manada · July 2013

As a follow up to H's post -- she just finished and I'm just starting my period. Bah. Not that it matters because we're totally in a holding pattern right now for at least another cycle.

Nothing's new. My posting absence has been a direct result of both the high stress situation I'm under at work as well as my general lack of enthusiasm to talk about babies & pregnancies right now. Yes, I'm becoming THAT infertile person. But I find some comfort in the Infertility boards and people I recognize from there, so I keep lurking occasionally.

We'll see where we end up. H has mentioned that she is trying to convince me to have a go at a couple more IUIs. The dismal 2nd opinion consult we had a few months ago with another fertility doc was a recommendation of at least 2 more IUIs before I really accept my "sub-fertility" (her words, not mine). I'm not sure how I feel about it -- I'm feeling generally disillusioned by the whole process right now anyway.

QOTD: H and I did the D.ykes planning Tykes course here in Toronto before we started, and I have worked in a midwifery clinic before so I pretty much had the technical, legal, social aspects down in terms of knowledge. The biggest misconception I had was COST. I never imagined that we would be those people who spend $20,000 to get pregnant, and we will be - without a doubt. I wish I had been better prepared for that, it was never really discussed in all my education around it.

Other than that - I don't know if I was really prepared to think of myself as potentially infertile. It was a steep and very emotional learning curve - and I'm very much currently in the "anger" part of that grieving process right now. That sucked. I figured that as long as I was under 35 years old things would be good -- what a misconception that turned out to be.

2MamazInSeattle · July 2013

Well, it's on! Our FET is planned for Thursday, and we are just waiting for our exact appointment time. YAY!

Meanwhile I've checked a bunch of pre-FET boxes - rolfing, acupuncture, spa bdy wrap tonight - and finally drank our fancy wedding champagne last night as my 'last drink.' I was a little silly yesterday and bought a gift for our future LO's nursery, not to jinx us, but to send welcoming energy. Today I had an MFM appt. around my "low antithrombin III activity" bloodwork, she is re-testing because I was borderline and based on lots of other things, she doesn't feel it is likely I will end up on daily Lovenox or heparin shots! This was a relief, though the final decision will be made after the second test.

All in all - I am as ready as I'm going to be, and J is (like me) cautiously optimistic and hopeful! That's my update for now.

Nice hearing from you all above, and hugs to those who need them.

GoaliesWife123 · July 2013

KH826:
I am mobile bumping for the first time since I can't seem to get on the board with my laptop and my iPad is at home... Anywho, if you are actively TTC or taking a break or in the planning/learning stages, let's hear your updates! QOTD: What is the biggest misconception no pun intended you had about TTC before you started, that you have learned through experience is so not true? If you haven't started trying yet, what are expecting/hoping your TTC journey will teach you?

Hello all!

I'm on CD 29 with spotting so could turn into CD 1 depending on how the day goes, haha. I'm still seeing my acupuncturist and chiropractor and loving it. Though it costs a fortune to keep up with both, it's cheaper than insurance and guess what, no meds. My acupuncturist is totally focused on my fertility and I love that she is taking me seriously. She's very excited that we are going to have our first insemination in September.

QOTD: Biggest misconception in MY situation was that this would be stressful. I know that there are definitely situations that are stressful for people, but for DW and I, we have our limit on number of tries and our primary focus throughout the entire process is our own relationship. I feel if you set boundaries and stick to them, it seems to help.

kristi&p · July 2013

Just had my last dose of Femara last night super happy to be done with that major head aches with that med. I almost prefer mood swings from clomid. I go for mid cycle check thursday hoping for more than one follie and no GIANT ones like 29mm like last time (still annoyed that I went through with the IUI last cycle when I was so concerned about the size and turns out there was no egg) A little annoyed becuase I decided on doing the femara I figured why not... no need to jump to an expensive inject if there is the possibilty of another oral med that might work. The nurse is so caught up on what our plans are for the next cycle what inject meds we want to go with and so on I was like can we slow down and have a little faith in this cycle working. Another note FMLA paperwork has been submitted so when I arrive late to work I wont get any late arrival strikes. QOTD: What is the biggest misconception no pun intended you had about TTC before you started, that you have learned through experience is so not true? If you haven't started trying yet, what are expecting/hoping your TTC journey will teach you? I thought this was going to be much easier than what it is. I see so many oops I am pregnant people I didnt think it was this hard.

KH826 · July 2013

TTC check-in update for me: I got my LH surge on my OPK this afternoon, IUI is 8am tomorrow and acupuncture at 4:45pm tomorrow. I don't know why, but I am really excited! I haven't felt excited for the last few cycles per say, more anxious, but this time I am feeling excited!

kristi&p · July 2013

KH826:
TTC check-in update for me: I got my LH surge on my OPK this afternoon, IUI is 8am tomorrow and acupuncture at 4:45pm tomorrow. I don't know why, but I am really excited! I haven't felt excited for the last few cycles per say, more anxious, but this time I am feeling excited!

Hope it all went well and you have a speedy tww

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