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Adoption
Check-In Adoption/Fostering - July 15th
It?s Time to Check-In!
We?ve had a couple new people come out of the walls this week and we are
excited to have you around! Every adoption/fostering situation is unique and
each of us are able to share our incredible stories and journeys with each
other!
Welcome to all our newbies! Lurkers, come out come out wherever you are! Check in with us and post even if you?re not in the process yet, or you?re just thinking about someday adopting, check in and let us know you?re around!
Have a great week ladies! Be Blessed!
1. What kind of fostering/adoption process are you working towards? What age(s) is/are the kiddo(s)?
2. What is your most recent milestone or accomplishment? (Remember it doesn?t have to be adoption related!)
3. Where in the process are you at?
4. How are you feeling this week?
5. What?s the next step in this journey for you? (If waiting to be matched/matched and waiting for child, what are you doing to enjoy the summer/pass the time. Have you purchased items lately etc?!)
6. What have you done for yourself this week?
7. QOTW: We talked a bit this week in a thread about things people say? so let?s hear the stupidest/most hurtful thing someone has said to you thus far and how did you respond to it?
Began the Adoption process 4/2013
Home study Approved 12/2013
.... and the wait begins!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Check-In Adoption/Fostering - July 15th
1. What kind of fostering/adoption process are you working towards? What age(s) is/are the kiddo(s)?
DIA
2. What is your most recent milestone or accomplishment? (Remember it doesn?t have to be adoption related!)
It's silly, but I stood up to a family member who has been a critic in our journey and laid it out to them - Then with as much love as I could, I tried to educate them!
3. Where in the process are you at?
We were approved to start the homestudy... who knows when it will actually start!
4. How are you feeling this week?
In limbo! But excited. We are doing a photo shoot with our wedding photographers (we do it every year for Christmas cards) but this year, we are doing it earlier than typical because we are going to announce our adoption journey to friends and extended family members via a photo!
5. What?s the next step in this journey for you? (If waiting to be matched/matched and waiting for child, what are you doing to enjoy the summer/pass the time. Have you purchased items lately etc?!)
Starting the homestudy!!
6. What have you done for yourself this week?
I have cleaned the house and power washed the exterior of the house/concrete. As crazy as this sounds, it was a HUGE thing for me!
7. QOTW: We talked a bit this week in a thread about things people say? so let?s hear the stupidest/most hurtful thing someone has said to you thus far and how did you respond to it?
My husband's aunt (who is a know it all) was constantly asking my mother in law why we weren't going through with fertility treatments, asking her if we would live a life without our "own" children etc. I flipped out when my mother in law told me this and called the aunt who wasn't even supposed to know about our journey, and I gracefully educated her on medical treatments, costs, mental positions, and how incredible adoption is and how they ARE OUR OWN CHILDREN! ugh!
1. What kind of fostering/adoption process are you working towards? What ages is/are the kiddos?: Domestic infant adoption through an agency
2. What is your most recent milestone or accomplishment? Remember it doesnt have to be adoption related!: completed our seminar this weekend!
3. Where in the process are you at?: home study process
4. How are you feeling this week?: hopeful and excited!
5. Whats the next step in this journey for you? If waiting to be matched/matched and waiting for child, what are you doing to enjoy the summer/pass the time. Have you purchased items lately etc?!: should be scheduling our homestudy interviews in the next week or so, hoping to be finished with those by end of August, fingers crossed!
6. What have you done for yourself this week?: got to spend time with some friends over the weekend
7. QOTW: We talked a bit this week in a thread about things people say so lets hear the stupidest/most hurtful thing someone has said to you thus far and how did you respond to it?: I havent had much negativity yet, aside from my grandma asking nearly every time we talk 'what color baby' we wanted. I always tell her that it makes no difference to us, but she doesn't really get it.
1. What kind of fostering/adoption process are you working towards? What age(s) is/are the kiddo(s)?
IA from China, boy or girl, under 18 months
2. What is your most recent milestone or accomplishment? (Remember it doesn?t have to be adoption related!)
Nothing much lately, I feel like we are inching along!
3. Where in the process are you at?
Our file is very close to being ready to go to China. We had an unfortunate paperwork issue last week that put us back a little, but hopefully it will be fixed soon!
4. How are you feeling this week?
Annoyed and tired of the paperwork waiting, but I'm trying to keep my mind off of it.
5. What?s the next step in this journey for you? (If waiting to be matched/matched and waiting for child, what are you doing to enjoy the summer/pass the time. Have you purchased items lately etc?!)
I'm still hopeful to have our dossier submitted before the end of the month and be matched in August and travel by the end of the year.
6. What have you done for yourself this week?
I took some glorious naps this weekend. I could use one every day!
After 2 years of IF workups/treatments and 2 IUIs, we have closed the door on fertility treatments.
We are very excited to be pursuing international adoption from China!
6000 miles and a day
1. What kind of fostering/adoption process are you working towards? What age(s) is/are the kiddo(s)?
DIA
2. What is your most recent milestone or accomplishment? (Remember it doesn?t have to be adoption related!)
Finally found a pediatrician in the EM's state (for during our ICPC wait) and one near us for when we get back home.
3. Where in the process are you at?
Matched and waiting for the birth.
4. How are you feeling this week?
Anxious -- due date is very soon and we are just soooo ready to know if this baby is going to be ours.
5. What?s the next step in this journey for you? (If waiting to be matched/matched and waiting for child, what are you doing to enjoy the summer/pass the time. Have you purchased items lately etc?!)
Waiting, not so patiently, for the birth.
6. What have you done for yourself this week?
Not much yet.
7. QOTW: We talked a bit this week in a thread about things people say? so let?s hear the stupidest/most hurtful thing someone has said to you thus far and how did you respond to it?
Thankfully, we haven't had much negativity/hurtful comments other than a few early comments from MIL about race/ethnicity and the specifics of our EM's situation. I'm used to her lack of filter between brain and mouth, so I was able to shut down that line of questioning quickly and educate her a bit in the process.
1. What kind of fostering/adoption process are you working towards? What age(s) is/are the kiddo(s)? DIA
2. What is your most recent milestone or accomplishment? (Remember it doesn?t have to be adoption related!) Trying to start my own business and I think I identified a potential manufacturer in China.
3. Where in the process are you at? After two failed adoptions we are back in the waiting to be matched game.
4. How are you feeling this week? Frustrated
5. What?s the next step in this journey for you? (If waiting to be matched/matched and waiting for child, what are you doing to enjoy the summer/pass the time. Have you purchased items lately etc?!) Trying to stay cool, boy is it HOT out there.
6. What have you done for yourself this week? Working on my business. Played Tennis and Volleyball.
7. QOTW: We talked a bit this week in a thread about things people say? so let?s hear the stupidest/most hurtful thing someone has said to you thus far and how did you respond to it?
Q: "Do you have any kids?" R: "Not yet" Q: "Oh are you trying?" R: "Trying to adopt" Q: "Why don't you use a surrogate?" R: Do you have $100,000 to give me?
1. What kind of fostering/adoption process are you working towards? What age(s) is/are the kiddo(s)?
International Adoption from Uganda, ages 0-3
2. What is your most recent milestone or accomplishment? (Remember it doesn?t have to be adoption related!)
My dance studio works quite a bit with special needs students--specializing in inclusion education (where special needs students learn in the classes with other kids), and this summer we've had the incredible opportunity to work with students in wheelchairs. We produced a dance workout DVD for students in wheelchairs in June, and just yesterday several of my students had the opportunity to dance with students in wheelchairs at an event. It just makes my heart soar to see how much it means to the kids in the wheelchairs and their families, and it's GREAT for my students to volunteer and give back. Such a neat experience!
3. Where in the process are you at?
ALMOST paper pregnant! ALMOST!
4. How are you feeling this week?
Really great! Our child's nursery furniture came, and we've received some sweet donations to our adoption fund and clothing/toys from dear, dear people.
5. What?s the next step in this journey for you? (If waiting to be matched/matched and waiting for child, what are you doing to enjoy the summer/pass the time. Have you purchased items lately etc?!)
Our next step is waiting for a referral. I've been applying for various adoption grants this summer and gathering stuff to set up the nursery! And, according to my Facebook friends I've been nesting (LOL). I've completed an ENORMOUS amount of organizational projects around our house and the studio--yay for productivity!
6. What have you done for yourself this week?
I received some really great news last week, so after the event that my kiddos danced at last night, my husband took me out to Sweet Frog for some of our favorite frozen yogurt treats to celebrate! We believe in celebrating life.
7. QOTW: We talked a bit this week in a thread about things people say? so let?s hear the stupidest/most hurtful thing someone has said to you thus far and how did you respond to it?
Hmm...I don't like to dwell on the negative things people say. I don't write them in my journal or online or anything like that because I like to forgive and move on. But I will tell you that the most uncomfortable questions we get are when people make assumptions about why we're adopting ("can't you have kids of your own?", etc). When those come up, I just try to respond in grace remembering that most people aren't asking because they're mean--they're just asking because they're ignorant.
IA from DRCongo; little girl currently believed to be ~20mos old
2. What is your most recent milestone or accomplishment? (Remember it doesn?t have to be adoption related!)
We've informally matched with her! Will accept her formal referral when we get her full medical report back.
3. Where in the process are you at?
Hopefully referral (matching). Who knows how long it will take to get her blood work done. But I'm wishing and hoping and thinking and praying this week.
4. How are you feeling this week?
Good! Awesome, actually. A thousand of my friends announced they were pregnant, which I LOVE, so it's been a fun week.
5. What?s the next step in this journey for you? (If waiting to be matched/matched and waiting for child, what are you doing to enjoy the summer/pass the time. Have you purchased items lately etc?!)
Well, we need to change our homestudy and our 171H from Uganda to DRC, and figure out what we need to complete our dossier for DRC. We have everything we'd need for the dossier to Uganda, so hopefully it's exactly the same.
Also, we need to find out if I can translate our dossier from English to French (the business/court language in the Congo). Hopefully I can as that would save us some cash!
6. What have you done for yourself this week?
DH and I (and DS) have spent the summer at a YMCA for DH's work (he helps run a summer-long leadership training trip with college students); I just went to the Y's craft shop and made coordinating shirts for DS and this little girl. I shouldn't have since we aren't formally matched with her, but I totally did it anyway BECAUSE I CAN.
7. QOTW: We talked a bit this week in a thread about things people say? so let?s hear the stupidest/most hurtful thing someone has said to you thus far and how did you respond to it?
My MIL is a wonderful person, don't get me wrong, but she's not "up-to-date" on anything regarding HIV. In the Fall, we were seriously considering adopting a little girl who was HIV+ (she turned out to not be a legal orphan after all). When I broached the subject with her, she said, "oh, you don't want to adopt a child with HIV, you wouldn't want to do that to your other children." As if this LO could sneeze and the family would be infected! I decided we'd have to have a family-wide sit-down education session if we did pursue her, but it didn't work out.
Other than that, and a hundred different, well-meaning people referencing kids "of our own" vs adopted, nothing hurtful or mean has come up. Sometimes I educate and sometimes I don't. I'm sure, as we get closer to actually bringing home our kiddo, I'll get a little more proactive about correcting people.
1. What kind of fostering/adoption process are you working towards? What age(s) is/are the kiddo(s)?
DIA
2. What is your most recent milestone or accomplishment? (Remember it doesn?t have to be adoption related!)
We just had our profile appointment and are VERY close to finishing our profile book. It will probably be just a few weeks....I'm looking forward to that!
3. Where in the process are you at?
See above....we are almost in profile with our agency. We will then look into other agencies, lawyers, and online networking sites.
4. How are you feeling this week?
Pretty happy, but HOT! It is super hot in NJ this week!
5. What?s the next step in this journey for you? (If waiting to be matched/matched and waiting for child, what are you doing to enjoy the summer/pass the time. Have you purchased items lately etc?!)
Wait for a match. I am just doing lots of reading and will be looking into starting a nursery. I can't wait to do that! I have not bought anything, besides dresses for me. That counts, right?
6. What have you done for yourself this week?
We booked a trip to Mexico with our friends. This is the first time we are going away with another couple. I am super excited about that!
7. QOTW: We talked a bit this week in a thread about things people say? so let?s hear the stupidest/most hurtful thing someone has said to you thus far and how did you respond to it?
The only stupid thing so far was, "Why are you adopting? You have embryos left over from your last IVF." I basically just said that we thought long and hard and we felt that adoption was something that we both wanted to pursue and that those embryos will be there for as long as we want (if at all).
After 1 IUI, 3 IVF's with CGH/CCS testing, 10 early miscarriages, and lots of tears and frustration, we are moving on to Domestic Infant Adoption! We are so excited to see what the future holds.
1. What kind of fostering/adoption process are you working towards? What age(s) is/are the kiddo(s)?
Domestic infant adoption, but we're open to up to 12 months if a situation came up
2. What is your most recent milestone or accomplishment? (Remember it doesn?t have to be adoption related!)
Have everything done for our homestudy update and we'll be talking to the SW tomorrow to schedule our home visit. I'll just be happy to get it all over with.
3. Where in the process are you at?
Waiting, renewing our homestudy right now.
4. How are you feeling this week?
A little better than last week, not for any particular reason. Still pretty discouraged in general though with the wait and the fact that we have to renew our HS now.
5. What?s the next step in this journey for you? (If waiting to be matched/matched and waiting for child, what are you doing to enjoy the summer/pass the time. Have you purchased items lately etc?!)
I usually buy baby items as I find them on sale ($65 organic ergo on zulily this week!). I made a list of things I want to do this summer (drive-in movie, Bronx Zoo, kayaking around Governor's Island, Yankee Game, Shakespeare in the Park, etc) so I'm trying to use that to keep myself busy. But frankly there are some days lately where I'm just completely unmotivated and don't want to do anything. I totally don't feel like myself lately.
6. What have you done for yourself this week?
Not much. DH and I went to a drive-in movie on Friday so that was fun.
7. QOTW: We talked a bit this week in a thread about things people say? so let?s hear the stupidest/most hurtful thing someone has said to you thus far and how did you respond to it?
When one of the NP's I worked with found out we were adopting she said "Oh really? You don't want one of your own? You have such beautiful eyes- don't you want to pass those on?". I was trying just to end the conversation so I said something about how we may have a bio child in the future after adopting and any child we adopt now we will consider "our own". She then said "So if you do have one of your own later, do you still keep the adopted one?". Umm what?! Another coworker (who is from Russia and was discussing the Russian-US adoption ban) suggested that we just pay for a baby from Ukraine because there are pregnant girls there who need the money and it would be a good trade. Umm, no we're not buying a baby.
2. What is your most recent milestone or accomplishment? (Remember it doesn?t have to be adoption related!)
Nada.
3. Where in the process are you at?
Matched, waiting for the birth (sometime in the next few weeks)
4. How are you feeling this week?
Anxious.
5. What?s the next step in this journey for you? (If waiting to be matched/matched and waiting for child, what are you doing to enjoy the summer/pass the time. Have you purchased items lately etc?!)
Swimming a lot, hanging out with the emom a bunch.
6. What have you done for yourself this week?
Nada.
7. QOTW: We talked a bit this week in a thread about things people say? so let?s hear the stupidest/most hurtful thing someone has said to you thus far and how did you respond to it?
I've been getting a lot of "OMG SHE KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE" yup. She does. And I know where she lives.
IA from China, toddler
2. What is your most recent milestone or accomplishment? (Remember it doesn?t have to be adoption related!)
We were assigned a social worker and were invoiced for our home study yesterday!
3. Where in the process are you?
Home study
4. How are you feeling this week?
Good. Excited. My sister is visiting for a few days, which makes me SO happy. I love my family!
5. What?s the next step in this journey for you?
Complete the home study; huge fundraiser coming up in August...
6. What have you done for yourself this week?
I am, at this very moment, eating a brownie-cookie Frankendessert that my mom made and sent to me. It is awesome.
7. QOTW: We talked a bit this week in a thread about things people say? so let?s hear the stupidest/most hurtful thing someone has said to you thus far and how did you respond to it?
The most hurtful things aren't words for me; it's a general attitude of distrust toward us and our adoption plan. I just ignore it as best I can, cry when I feel like it, and shrug it off.Our Adoption Blog & Fundraising Efforts
Heading to China in November 2014 to bring our son home!
JEALOUS.
What the what?
Our Adoption Blog & Fundraising Efforts
Heading to China in November 2014 to bring our son home!