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court approach: kitchen sink or focused?

SigirSigir member
in Blended Families

we are preparing to go to court for the vax issue.  As you may recall, we have other issues where I feel my exh is violating the CO (driving, make up parenting time from business travel).  My dh is saying we should address all of them in this motion.  I feel that putting too many items into one motion muddies the water and can confuse the judge.  I have had that happen before... not all judges are the sharpest tools in the shed in my experience.

So what do you all do?  Do you take a kitchen sink, or a focused approach to motions?  What has worked for you in the past, and have you found any pitfalls that you have encountered, going one way or the other? 

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Re: court approach: kitchen sink or focused?

  • MrsHetzelMrsHetzel member
    From personal experience, and from watching cases in the news, if you take a super aggressive stance from the beginning, it can intimidate the defendant into submission. So that if you just want x, but you blow into the courtroom demanding x, y, and z, then you can "compromise" and "settle" and walk away with only x which is all you wanted and it makes everyone feel like they won. Hey it worked with Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise.
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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    I would go in for more than one issue so the next time the judge does not wonder why you are back so soon. But only pick a few things. But the OP is right that if you have more things you might at least win on some. Can you also get a letter from the Pediatrician recommending vaccines?
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • SigirSigir member
    imageLittlejen22:
    I would go in for more than one issue so the next time the judge does not wonder why you are back so soon. But only pick a few things. But the OP is right that if you have more things you might at least win on some. Can you also get a letter from the Pediatrician recommending vaccines?


    I got letters frm the current and former ped, and the dentist bc I am including the vitamins in the motion.
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  • IlumineIlumine member

    I would pick and choose wisely.  I would lump similar issues together.  

    In your case, I would have more than just your pediatrician's letter.  I pull together all of the studies that have proven the naysayer's beliefs false, so you can pull out the science to counter any of your Ex's idiotic views.

    I would also pull together any other supportive information, like the CDC's maps of the various outbreaks.  Telling the judge that you want to vaccinate for the Mumps because there was a Mumps outbreak 10 miles from you is a pretty darn good argument.  

    file:///Users/Ilumine/Desktop/Family%20Portrait%20for%20gift.jpg
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  • twister22twister22 member
    I can't believe you can't get your kids vaccinated, that's BS! My pedi only asks for one parents' initials, not both. How is your X stopping you from getting the gets vaccinated? 
    image
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  • haileygonzohaileygonzo member
    My husband has had to take his ex wife to court for many issues, including her constant breaking of the parenting plan. What we have discovered is each motion has to be for a specific issue, we did not have the choice to lump them together. Which means many many court dates, it gets expensive and stressful. Choose your battles and good luck!
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  • SigirSigir member
    imagetwister22:
    I can't believe you can't get your kids vaccinated, that's BS! My pedi only asks for one parents' initials, not both. How is your X stopping you from getting the gets vaccinated?nbsp;


    I dded the op, bc I am nervous about spying, but quick capsule is that exh is a crazy conspiracy theorist against vaccines and fluoride. When married I went along to try to save the marriage. Now I want to do what is right but we share med decision power and he forbids it. I could go behind his back and do it but she is old enough where she would tell, plus I am tired of lying.

    I am leaning towards just focussing on this one issue in this motion. How fun.
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  • WahooWahoo member

    I would also have a printout of the school rules re: vaccinations, and that while the school allows for religious exemptions it does NOT allow for an exemption just because you don't like vaccines!  Unless your exH is a member of a specific religious group that discourages vaccines, the school requirement should help you.

     I would also request as part of this hearing that YOU be the tie-breaker if you and exH can't agree on medical issues. (So you don't have to return to court every time you disagree)  Come with evidence that you are the one to care for your child when they are ill, you take them to the doctor / dentist for well appointments, etc.

    image "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
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  • SigirSigir member
    imageWahoo:
    I would also have a printout of the school rules re: vaccinations, and that while the school allows for religious exemptions it does NOT allow for an exemption just because you don't like vaccines! nbsp;Unless your exH is a member of a specific religious group that discourages vaccines, the school requirement should help you.nbsp;I would also request as part of this hearing that YOU be the tiebreaker if you and exH can't agree on medical issues. So you don't have to return to court every time you disagree nbsp;Come with evidence that you are the one to care for your child when they are ill, you take them to the doctor / dentist for well appointments, etc.


    I was actually reading about other cases on vaccinations, and normally the parent wanting them goes for full medical decision making so that is probably the route I will go.
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  • SigirSigir member
    imageWahoo:
    I would also have a printout of the school rules re: vaccinations, and that while the school allows for religious exemptions it does NOT allow for an exemption just because you don't like vaccines! nbsp;Unless your exH is a member of a specific religious group that discourages vaccines, the school requirement should help you.nbsp;I would also request as part of this hearing that YOU be the tiebreaker if you and exH can't agree on medical issues. So you don't have to return to court every time you disagree nbsp;Come with evidence that you are the one to care for your child when they are ill, you take them to the doctor / dentist for well appointments, etc.


    I was actually reading about other cases on vaccinations, and normally the parent wanting them goes for full medical decision making so that is probably the route I will go.
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