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Comparing twins

Wishing35Wishing35 member
in Multiples
When I first found out we were having twins I really had it in my head that they would be boy girl for some reason. They are both girls and ever since I found out I have a fear that they will always be compared. Like what if one of them is more attractive than the other ? I know this probably sounds wierd and shallow. Obviously they will both be beautiful to me but I worry that once they get older people will compare them, like so and so is the pretty or smart one etc. Anyone else think these things ?
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Re: Comparing twins

  • staceymackstaceymack member
    I had not thought about that for my own twins, but growing up my bff's are fraternal twins. In our teenage years there was drama with those sorts of issues. Their mom was always spoke to them in a positive voice. I think they both learned to embrace the qualities that make them so wonderful. We're all thirty now, and they're closer than ever. Honestly, I think it could happen to siblings close in age too. I guess all we can do is teach them self respect and confidence and deal with these issues as they come up. 
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  • Reilly626Reilly626 member
    Well I have boy girl twins and I get all the time, one is bigger than the other or one is blonde one is brunette, or what's the Same about them.... So they compare them whether they are boy girl also!
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  • katiebeneskatiebenes member
    that's my biggest worry.
    what if one is an athlete and one is a geek like me? well that affect how people around us act?
    like, if one of my boys likes all things geeky, my family won't understand most of his interests... I'm saying that from a place of experience. I know my family doesn't understand my geek side lol.

    the world well compare them no matter what... the world compares siblings and cousins too... not sure why, but for some reason people think that's okay to do
    Eat your food people. You are pregnant, not made of glass. ~PrimRoseMama
    The Benes Boys were born 9/3/13! woooo
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  • Wishing35Wishing35 member
    imagekatiebenes:
    that's my biggest worry.
    what if one is an athlete and one is a geek like me? well that affect how people around us act?
    like, if one of my boys likes all things geeky, my family won't understand most of his interests... I'm saying that from a place of experience. I know my family doesn't understand my geek side lol.

    the world well compare them no matter what... the world compares siblings and cousins too... not sure why, but for some reason people think that's okay to do

    I know your right siblings will always be compared. I just hate the thought of it. I have 3 sisters so I had my share of it and it really sucks. I always felt like the
    chubby one, I guess that's why I'm worried about it.
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  • Darcie EliciaDarcie Elicia member
    Yep. My girls are fraternal and people do this all the time. "Which one is the out going one? Oh, she must be the happy one. Which one is the aggressor?" It's so irritating. Like they have to be polar opposites. It's kind of like, which one is the better one?

    I've learned that people are just trying to converse and they don't really mean anything by it. But I hate to think of my girls growing up and being compared to each other and feeling self conscious about it. I still haven't thought of a good response to people. I just tell people how they go back in forth in what they do because its true.
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  • NikkdamNikkdam member
    Being an unidentical twin myself, yes we did have those challenges and were mighty competitive and fought badly. But now we are closer than ever and surface appearances don't matter anymore. I must say we always stuck up for each other though. There will alway be that bond no matter what. Any siblings are compared so I don't think it's much different that way...
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  • BananaPancakeBananaPancake member
    You WILL compare them constantly, but not in the way you think. I compare Max and Miles every day in some way, but my unique love for each of them cancels it out. It feels bad at first, but once you love their personalities, you compare them less in a "which one do I like better" way and more as just a general curiosity. Mine are ID and they are both just so amazing in their own ways. We compare them physically on a development scale, but everything else is taken as a "what makes them special" level. 
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  • katiebeneskatiebenes member
    imageMrsLee04:

    imageDarcie Elicia:
    It's kind of like, which one is the better one?

    I was literally asked "which one is the best?" once.  I responded "at what?!" Confused

    in everything of course. everyone knows parents secretly have a favorite child 

    Eat your food people. You are pregnant, not made of glass. ~PrimRoseMama
    The Benes Boys were born 9/3/13! woooo
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