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Multiples
Day outing
Hi lladies im a bit frustrated and annoyed. Looking for either some support or someone to slap me silly and say I'm being ridiculous either one. So my brothers gf family has a house up in the Vermont mountains. I've heard it's very nice and they've been kind enough to invite me the kids and DH and our parents as well. I appreciate the offer so much. However it is 2 hours from our house and it takes us SO insanely long to pack everything. I'm still pumping, we pack all the bottles in a cooler and then the pack and plays with sheets, etc. I feel like they just have no clue as they don't have children. Not that I'm saying we can't ever do anything, it's just now it's still so tough. They just turned six months and have a great schedule going. But without their naps they are a nightmare! Both my husband and I work full time, albeit from home, but we still have to be on the road a couple days a week. I just don't feel like I should feel obligated on the weekend to put in four hours of drive time plus all the prep time in order to go see my bro's girlfriends family, nor do I feel like its right to ask DH to do that either.
They continue to ask us to go and have expressed their disappointment to my father about us not going and how we have to "branch" out with the babies. I've tried explaining that as they get to be 9 and 10 months and drop one nap that things will get easier. But to top it all off they've just started some solid foods and bringing all of that to someone else's house is a nightmare thought as well. I'm just not comfortable in a strangers home as I would be my parents or in laws. Am I justified in my feelings right now? I'm upset because I feel like my bros gf is chirping in his ear a lot about us not going a lot of places and its irritating. They have no idea what is involved with multiples and I feel like they think its all easy and roses all the time. The only other thing ill say is that they go up to Vermont almost every weekend and pass within ten minutes of our house. Instead of offering to come and visit the babies they merely pass by without even calling to see if they can come by which I always tell them they are welcome. These are my brothers only niece and nephew and I feel like they should be a little more accommodating and less judgmental. Thoughts?
TTC #1 Since January 2011 Dx: PCOS and Anovulatory April 2012 BFP! Beta 1 5/22 - 1,000+ Beta 2 5/24 - 3,009 1st u/s 6/5 - TWINS!!! A/S Reveals we are Team PURPLE!!! 
12/27 - surprise BFP - due August 2014
12/27 - surprise BFP - due August 2014This discussion has been closed.
Re: Day outing
Unfortunately I think people who haven't lived through it first hand are never going to "get it". It is frustrating but in the end you have to do what works for your family! Sometimes I'm up for all the work it takes to go places and sometimes I'm not....and I don't feel bad about it either way! As they get older it will get a ton easier so not to worry you won't be stuck feeling like this forever!
As far as the bro and gf go, sounds like they are just at a different stage of life and no matter how you try to explain it to them they probably still won't get it. Keep the offer on the table for them to stop by for a visit on their way and hopefully they take you up on it! It's hard when people want you to put yourself out for them when they don't seem to be willing to do the same but I find in most situations it isn't intentional, they just don't realize what they are doing!
Just wait, by next summer you'll be hitting the roads with much more ease
My LOs are the same age as yours and we just got back from our first family road trip; DH had a conference about 4 hours away at this resort and we came along (he was free in the afternoons). I had super low expectations; figured it would be a huge pain, that I'd never get out of the hotel room, being a slave to their schedule (esp. while DH was at the conference and it was just me and LOs in the room). In some senses that was true...."vacation" certainly takes on a new meaning as parents, esp. parents of multiples, and we had to be super organized and pack a TON just for 4 days. But it ended up going a lot more smoothly than I thought. After one bad night the babies sttn in their PnPs, napped halfway decently, and the resort was laid out in such a way that I could easily take them for walks in the stroller and we brought them to the pool twice! So, all in all, it was kind of empowering to know that we could do something like this with them....though, on the other hand, we're not going out of town with them again any time soon.
In your situation, I would advise not to go unless you actually wanted to. You're right that it will be a ton of work....all the same work as at home without the convenience of home (esp. if you're pumping, omg). You shouldn't do it just b/c you feel pressured by your brother and his gf. They clearly don't get it, as most people who have not been there don't. Ditto PPs to reiterate the offer to visit; if they really want to visit their niece and nephew so badly, coming to visit is a good compromise, esp. since they are the more flexible ones.
GL and I hope you guys can work something out....any sort of family "drama" is never fun. :-P