Secondary IF

Nightmares...

Unfortunately I don't ever get "baby dreams", I get nightmares.

Last night I dreamed I took a hpt and it said bfp AT FIRST, but it was a digital and the words switched to literally "not this month" what the crap?! It was hpt not a magic eight ball!

I probably shouldn't share this. Ya'll are going to think my crazy ship done set sail for the never sea.

Okay, so it wasn't the worst nightmare. I've had others that are worse and a lot crazier sounding.

This is the first cycle ttc 2 and I'm only 3dpo I can't be going this crazy this soon.
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Me: 27 DH: 33
Married 6 years
Conceived DS after 4 years of MFI

TTC # 2 (not trying,not preventing ever)
May 2013 - August 2013 Timed Intercourse = BFN
September 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs=BFN
October 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs, and "warming foods" = BFP
Beta #1 19, Beta #2 18 Progesterone 4.6 Miscarried 11/9/13
November 2013 - Benched, waiting for first post-loss AF.
No longer benched per New RE/OB!
Jan. 15 2014 - BFP. HCG 3900 - Ectopic :( 
Jan. 16 2014 Left tube removed and D&C
March 2, 2014 First AF


Re: Nightmares...

  • I had a similar dream to that a few months ago!  I had used a hpt, and it said something on it like that, some kind of kick in the gut smart*ss response!  I remember being pretty irritated about it when I woke up.  I wish I could remember what it said. 

    I had a bad ttc dream last night too.  Today is 10dpo for me (in real life), and this is usually the day I start spotting and know it's all over for the month.  I dreamt last night that I went to the bathroom and it was more than just spotting. TMI (sorry), but it was huge clots.  It was depressing, and very yucky on top.  I am a crazy dreamer, never know what my mind is going to come up with.

     

    Me: 42. DH: 46.

    1st Pregnancy: MC, 11/19/00.

    2nd Pregnancy: DS born 04/10/06.

    3rd Pregnancy: CP, 03/11.

    4th Pregnancy: MMC, D&C 11/30/11, Genetic testing revealed Trisomy 4.

    5th Pregnancy: Ectopic, 2 doses of Methotrexate unsuccessful, surgery 4/10/12, right tube removed.

    Tried Letrozole January 2013-July 2013 (including 2 IUIs), all BFN.  After 2 1/2 years of trying for child #2, decided to "give up" after July cycle, based on AMA.

    August 16, 2013:  BFP our first month of "not trying!"  Still in shock.  Beta #1 (14dpo): 183.  Beta #2 (17dpo):  611.  Ultrasound 8/30/13: baby measured 6 weeks, 1 day, heart rate of 118 bpm! 
    Ultrasound 9/13/13:  8 weeks, heart rate of 176!
    Baby is due 4/26/14

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  • KC1212KC1212 member
    I'm glad it's not just me! I hope your spotting stays away and I sincerely hope you're knocked up and will start throwing up any day now with morning sickness.

    Yeah, but that is why I don't buy the digitals. I didn't until I got pregnant with my son only then did I want a confirmation with words.
    image

    Me: 27 DH: 33
    Married 6 years
    Conceived DS after 4 years of MFI

    TTC # 2 (not trying,not preventing ever)
    May 2013 - August 2013 Timed Intercourse = BFN
    September 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs=BFN
    October 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs, and "warming foods" = BFP
    Beta #1 19, Beta #2 18 Progesterone 4.6 Miscarried 11/9/13
    November 2013 - Benched, waiting for first post-loss AF.
    No longer benched per New RE/OB!
    Jan. 15 2014 - BFP. HCG 3900 - Ectopic :( 
    Jan. 16 2014 Left tube removed and D&C
    March 2, 2014 First AF


  • imageKC1212:
    I'm glad it's not just me! I hope your spotting stays away and I sincerely hope you're knocked up and will start throwing up any day now with morning sickness. Yeah, but that is why I don't buy the digitals. I didn't until I got pregnant with my son only then did I want a confirmation with words.

     I'm butting in.. :)  I did the same when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter! I only bought the digital when I thought I saw the 2 lines on the other. But then, in ttc #2, each month I thought maaaaaybe the regular poas was wrong.. better get the digital!! Seeing those words NOT PREGNANT in big bold letters is so hurtful!! It should have a nice little message like, "I'm so sorry, but this isn't the month for you. Keep trying and you'll get there soon." Right??? 

    I'm sorry about the nightmares. I get them too. Yesterday, though, I had a full on panic attack thinking I may never get pregnant again. I'm worried about my appointment tomorrow. We may have to cancel the IUI if I have a polyp. I keep telling myself that the injections were no big deal, but really I can't help but think that all that poking was for nothing.

    I am so jealous you both are in the TWW! Only a couple of days and I'm right behind you. Get the bfp trend goin' girls! :) I'm praying for you! 

    DH & I: 29
    TTC #1 4/2009 -  DD 2/5/10
    TTC #2 since October 2011
    2IF issues
    7/2013 - IUI #1: 50 units Follistim +  Ovidrel  = BFN
    8/2013 - IUI #2: 50 units Follistim +  Ovidrel  = BFP! Beta #1 (12 dpiui) 8/21: 45  Beta #2 (16 dpiui) 8/26: 301 Beta #3 (21 dpiui) 8/30: 1,929. 1st Ultrasound 9/4 - One perfect sac. 2nd Ultrasound 9/13 - Heartbeat at 124 bpm! Anniversary  

    image


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  • PS. In the world of IF, nothing is crazy sounding to me!!
    DH & I: 29
    TTC #1 4/2009 -  DD 2/5/10
    TTC #2 since October 2011
    2IF issues
    7/2013 - IUI #1: 50 units Follistim +  Ovidrel  = BFN
    8/2013 - IUI #2: 50 units Follistim +  Ovidrel  = BFP! Beta #1 (12 dpiui) 8/21: 45  Beta #2 (16 dpiui) 8/26: 301 Beta #3 (21 dpiui) 8/30: 1,929. 1st Ultrasound 9/4 - One perfect sac. 2nd Ultrasound 9/13 - Heartbeat at 124 bpm! Anniversary  

    image


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  • KC1212KC1212 member
    MJC

    Glad you don't think I'm crazy! Haha. I'll keep you in my thoughts tomorrow. I hope it's not a polyp because everything else sounded like it was on the right track.

    Did your doctor say how many IUI's he was going to let you try? Mine only gave us 3 shots and we did 2. He said if it was going to work it would do so within 3 tries. I don't know if I agree with him. I felt like he was just going to push us to IVF which we cannot afford and I don't believe we need anything that aggressive.

    In hindsight if we do the RE thing again I will have to shop for a new one because I really wasn't a fan of him.
    image

    Me: 27 DH: 33
    Married 6 years
    Conceived DS after 4 years of MFI

    TTC # 2 (not trying,not preventing ever)
    May 2013 - August 2013 Timed Intercourse = BFN
    September 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs=BFN
    October 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs, and "warming foods" = BFP
    Beta #1 19, Beta #2 18 Progesterone 4.6 Miscarried 11/9/13
    November 2013 - Benched, waiting for first post-loss AF.
    No longer benched per New RE/OB!
    Jan. 15 2014 - BFP. HCG 3900 - Ectopic :( 
    Jan. 16 2014 Left tube removed and D&C
    March 2, 2014 First AF


  • imageKC1212:
    MJC Glad you don't think I'm crazy! Haha. I'll keep you in my thoughts tomorrow. I hope it's not a polyp because everything else sounded like it was on the right track. Did your doctor say how many IUI's he was going to let you try? Mine only gave us 3 shots and we did 2. He said if it was going to work it would do so within 3 tries. I don't know if I agree with him. I felt like he was just going to push us to IVF which we cannot afford and I don't believe we need anything that aggressive. In hindsight if we do the RE thing again I will have to shop for a new one because I really wasn't a fan of him.

     

    My RE said the same thing. She will only do 3 as well, but she told me it was based on statistics. I guess "statistics" show that your chances of having a successful IUI will take place within the 1st 3 cycles. I really like my RE. She lets me email her with questions and responds usually within 24 hours even if I email her a million times. She told us that she thinks our plan of an injectible IUI cycle sounded very promising, especially given my recent hormone levels.

    The only thing is sometimes I wish she was a little more comforting. I don't know if that's the right word... she's super sweet and I feel really comfortable with her, but I want her to tell me something reassuring and not based on statistics. I guess that's a good thing - I don't want her to blow smoke up my . But, sometimes it would be nice to get a reassuring, "Don't worry - it'll happen." I know she can't say that, so I can't hold it against her.

    Thanks for thinking of me. I have been trying not to worry about it until I need to worry about it, but I can't seem to brush off the thought of wasting this cycle. So frustrating!! RE told me that she will try to see it via ultrasound before the IUI tomorrow...I'm worried one will be there and out of sight. So I'll probably consider this cycle to end up with a bfn since a polyp will reduce our chances. 

    DH & I: 29
    TTC #1 4/2009 -  DD 2/5/10
    TTC #2 since October 2011
    2IF issues
    7/2013 - IUI #1: 50 units Follistim +  Ovidrel  = BFN
    8/2013 - IUI #2: 50 units Follistim +  Ovidrel  = BFP! Beta #1 (12 dpiui) 8/21: 45  Beta #2 (16 dpiui) 8/26: 301 Beta #3 (21 dpiui) 8/30: 1,929. 1st Ultrasound 9/4 - One perfect sac. 2nd Ultrasound 9/13 - Heartbeat at 124 bpm! Anniversary  

    image


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  • I had a dream a few months ago where I was in a science lab and they ran all these tests on women TTC. Each of us had a chart with all these scribbles they wouldn't let us see until they finished. I finally couldn't take it anymore and as I was going to peak, one of the scientists looked at me and shook his head grimly and says "It is too early too see that!!!" Then I read my result and it said positive, but then I looked at the scientist and he said, "Not yet." When I looked back at the chart it said "not yet." Too. So I woke up knowing that wasn't my month but it had to be coming right??? That was March. Stupid dreams. At least it didn't say not ever...my subconscious still has hope.
    January 2007- Stop BCP! Let's DO this!
    June 2010- MFI. BS. IVF! Ectopic. BS. image

    November 2010- FAILED FET! BS!
    January 2011- BFP FET! TWINS!
    February 2011- lost twin. BS. image

    SEPTEMBER 2011- DD Born! Most awesome girl in the world!

    November 2013- FAILED FET! BS! (screw you November FETs)
    April Fresh Cycle, FAILED. Frozen embryos frozen for future FETs.
    FROZEN CYCLE JUNE! BFP
    BABY BOY VINCENT!
    image

    We can't wait to meet you!
    Conception:image
    imageimage Potato Love!

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