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new and need someone to talk to

ana+jakeana+jake member
in New to The Bump
Hi,i'm new and am 10 weeks pregnant. This is my first pregnancy and things were going well til earlier. My fiance told me he made a mistake staying with me,and then added that our baby is a mistake too. It was hurtful that he said that,and to be honest,i am crying still. We're both 22 and he had been telling me before I got pregnant that he wanted a baby,so we concieved. I just feel like i'm lost and hurt.
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Re: new and need someone to talk to

  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member

    I'm so sorry.

    Did he say this as part of argument, or out of the blue? Do you think he really feels this way, or said it in the heat of the moment?

    In any case, I'd see if you could find some counseling to work through this. Your dr may have some recommendations.

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  • ana+jakeana+jake member
    He said it in the heat of the moment. He's got bipolar which has gotten a little worse since pregnancy began. he apologised though, but I still plan on seeking advice on this to help us through it. And thank you for the response :
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  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member

    Ah, I had a feeling there was more to the story.

    I'm sure that he's feeling pressure to keep it all together, what with you being young and him dealing with bipolar, and now adding a baby to the mix. I hope he's keeping up with dr appointments to stay on his meds, etc.

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  • ana+jakeana+jake member
    Yes,he has been under pressure,but he's trying his best. And i'm sure my heightened hormones don't help any either. And he is.
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  • ana+jakeana+jake member
    But aside from the issue there,this is,my first pregnancy and i'm due in January. Tomorrow is my prenatal visit and i'm actually quite nervous about it. In truth too,i've always wanted to be a mom one day and now that I will be,the thought scares me because i'm nervous I will mess up on parentingplus labor is a bit scary to think of
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  • imakeeff0rtsimakeeff0rts member

    Personally (and this is just me), but I wouldn't stay with someone that says those things about my child. 


    Stress like that can not only hurt you, but hurt your child. And you have to consider, too, how he's going to act when the baby is born when neither of you are getting much sleep or time together (or even time alone for that matter). I imagine that issues will get much worse (especially since you're so early on) and I wouldn't feel safe bringing a child into that environment with someone that says things so readily in the heat of the moment, bipolar or not. 

    If you really want to stay with this guy, I would suggest giving him an ultimatum: either seek more intensive help or don't be involved. He needs to understand that his outbursts don't just affect you anymore.

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