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Baby Showers
bensmommy518
member
need some advice...
bensmommy518
member
in Baby Showers
I am currently 12 weeks pregnant with my second child. My first will be just under 2 1/2 when this one is born so not a long enough time in my mind to even entertain a second shower. personally I subscribe to the one and done rule and dont believe in second showers at all really. In my mindif you cant provide for a baby dont have one and showers are kind of like a rite of passage celebration not just a gift grabbing event.
What I am struggling with is a very close friend was talkingto me last night and said she wantedto throw me a shower for this one to celebrate. I told her how nicethat was of her but I really did not think I needed/wanted one because I have all I need and I would feel uncomfortable with another large celebration so soon after the other one. She then suggested a sprinkle or celebratory lunch where people could bring gifts if they wanted. I said that still seemed a little awkward for me but I really apprecite her thought of wanting to celebrate this little one. I suggested instead she help me plan a party after the birth to celebrate and introduce baby to everyone.
She seemed less excited about this option. My questions are this, 1. I know offers to throw a shower are themselves a gift and am I being rude byrefusing a shower or sprinkle and 2. If I just give in and accept what she is offering how do I not come accross as hypocritical to other friends who have had second showers or sprinkles that Ihavechosen not to attend because of principle?
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Re: need some advice...
1. You are not being rude by refusing. To me, a sprinkle is nothing different than a shower, no matter the name. People know the point of it.
2. If you are against this, tell your friend thank you for the offer but at this point you think it'd be best for you to have a meet the baby (if that's what you're wanting.). She may be disappointed, but I feel like you'll be more disappointed if you did something that you are so against. If you've vocalized that you didn't attend those other ones because you're against them, then I'd definitely not have one.
Well, I'd definitely not have one anyway. You also can't dictate if people bring presents or not, even if you think it'd be more polite to say no presents. IMO, you're best to not have one. 2nd showers are tacky, and I think you know that..
ETA: Congrats on your 2nd LO, as well!!
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I'll echo PPs. It's not rude to refuse. It's like an invitation, only in reverse. It is an offer, and it is your prerogative to accept or decline. If you are uncomfortable with the options presented, then it is okay for you to decline.
The most acceptable option that she presented is the lunch one, but it still has conditions. I would ONLY be comfortable with it if it is a small group of people who have all agreed to come and bring a gift if they want. Sending out a mass invite to lunch does look a bit gift grabby, especially if she were to mention celebrating the baby. Besides, would she be willing to pay for everyone's lunch, or would it be Dutch treat?
Your compromise sounds fine- she can help organize your Meet the Baby party. I would tell her that is the only option that you are comfortable with, and she can choose to go with that or do nothing at all. Leave it up to her, but don't feel bad about refusing. If she truly cares about you and your comfort level, she will understand.