How do you discipline your 2 yr old?

jeska511 · July 2013

Hi everyone. I have a 2 year old 26 months and a 3 week old daughter.

We are having some trouble with discipling our son. I will say he is actually not that bad. He does not throw tantrums and other things I expect from the terrible twos. He has also being doing grand with the new baby. The only problem we have is his stubborness to listen and learn. When he does something wrong, we give him stern warnings to stop. Sometimes he listens but most of the time he does not. We were raised to believe in spanking but that does not work on him either. Sure it will stop him then but he will just do it again later. Also, i notice spanking has kind of taught him it is okay to hit plus I an a Psych graduate so I am trying to find other ways to make him learn. I have only done time outs a few times but I do not think it will work either but I will keep trying. In the end, i just blame it on his stubborness from his father. Lol. I just really want him to learn to stop doig thing he knows is bad and has previously gotten in trouble for sich as spanking, throwing things when his sister is near, getting into certain things, etc.

So how do you discipline your 2 yr old and does it work? I know everyone has different styles and opinions, especially about spanking, so I just want to hear everyone's trial and error experiences.

JMU_Bride09 · July 2013

I could be wrong, but I think that the stubbornness is just par for the course at that age. They're testing their limits. Our almost 26 month old behaves similarly to yours. We mostly just scold and correct the behavior. I think that no matter what you do, be consistent and be prepared to repeat it as your son repeats the behavior.

kgs0505 · July 2013

Spanking is definitley not effective, plus it teaches it's ok to hit, like you said. We do timeouts. 1 minute for each year, so 2 years old = 2 minutes in timeout. This is my routine: He is doing something wrong. I ask him to stop. He doesn't. I tell him if he doesn't stop, he will get a timeout. He doesn't stop. I count to 3. If he hasn't stopped by the time I get to 3 it's a timeout. If he does stop before I get to 3, then I praise him for listening and making a good decision.

Now, you have to be 100% consistent with the timeouts. At this point my son really gets it and knows that if he doesn't listen (which it 85% the reason he goes to timeout) it's a timeout. There are other hot button things, like throwing food on the floor, etc that are timeouts. Now, for stuff like throwing food on the floor, we say if you do it again, you get a timeout. And if he does it again, we immediately put him in timeout.

Again, consistency i key. You may have to put the baby down in the middle of a feed to follow through, but it's critical to do so. You must follow through everytime. There may be days where your kid is in timeout more than he's not, but I promise you eventually he will get it and they will become much less frequent. My son no longer gets daily timeouts, but he does love to test the limits often. Especially when I am busy with babies.

Good luck and welcome to 2!

jordycakes · July 2013

My 2 1/2 year old is also stubborn. She actually says she wants to go to time out and runs there like its a fun place to be. I dont spank because I tried it once and she started hitting me, oh and she laughed like it was funny. I am at the end of my rope with her some days. I will be interested to see what others say they do.

sarbieb · July 2013

I have a 27 month old and a 3 week old as well! My 27m old has her meltdown moments, but for the most part she's really well behaved and listens well. When she has a meltdown over something always ridiculous I find she just wants a hug. I know this sounds totally hippie of me but it's almost always bc she just wants attention. If I give her a hug and tell her he needs to calm down and stop doing whatever it may be she responds really well and we move on quickly.

TiffanyBerry · July 2013

fredalina:
There isn't a magic formula to make a child instantly comply and never do the misdeed again. They are people with their own agendas and desires, which frequently conflict with the safety of themselves or others, parental schedules, etc. They need to be taught other ways to meet their needs and solve their problems as part of a community. It takes time. Years. Some kids are naturally more compliant and some are naturally more spirited, but asserting independence is actually a vital part of development. I suggest you pick up some good books on toddler development so you can get some perspective on typical development and constructive ways to guide them through it. I'm not a fan of spanking or really any authoritarian punishment techniques because they put the emphasis on the punishment instead of on problem solving. If you're interested in books that can hp with the problem solving side, try "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk" and "Positive Discipline". Hope that helps!

This. Especially the first paragraph.

OP, I feel your post is based on unrealistic expectations for a two year old, and if you can adjust, and accept that you will sound like a broken record (for many years to come), it may help you realize that what he is doing is normal, healthy, and good.

momofmanyinthemitten · July 2013

This is a great group of parenting books to check out. They've added some parenting/discipline books since I last looked at it, but the ones I did read from this list were worth the time. They're books that you could read each year and get something different out of them, as our children change so frequently.

dairygirl19 · July 2013

Crash Into Me:
Timeouts are okay here, but I cannot get her to stay in the corner for two minutes. I can't imagine holding her there or forcing her in anyway. Lately, I've been doing re-direction with activities. For example, if she starts jumping on the couch i will pick her up and move her to the floor and tell her that we only jump on the floor. Same with coloring, we only color on the paper. If she gets a ball for the dog I show her how to roll it on the floor instead of throwing it. Those are the things that really seem to stick in her head.

This. Time out doesn't really work for us though. She thinks it's fun. She's naughty, laughs, runs to the corner and says, "I sit." It's too much of a game for her.

They're still so little, I find that when they get naughty it's time for something new or they need some attention.

I do a lot of, "We do X with that, not Y." If she throws something etc. the item is mine for awhile. You don't play nice, we put it away. Immediate consequences seem to work best.

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