Hi ladies! Wow, I feel like I have been MIA forever. We recently moved back to Vegas, but staying at my parents house with DH and two infants hasn't been the easiest thing ever. We finally moved into our new home on Tuesday and its so nice to have our own space again! The best part: I finally get to decorate a nursery for my girls! Woohoo!!!
On a different/sad note, I need to start off by saying that even though we went thru our struggles with infertility, I look at my girls every day and just think about how lucky we are. A good friend of mine was 22 weeks with her first that she conceived naturally when she started having complications. Her placenta was beginning to come out of her cervix; they tried stabilizing everything until 24 weeks when they'd be able to start her on steroids, but unfortunately, she had to give birth yesterday and her son didn't make it. My heart goes out to her, but I don't know what to say. For those of you who have experienced a loss, do you have any advice? And in the meantime, any thoughts and prayers are appreciated!
Skylar Elena and Hollyn Isabella... our two beautiful blessings arrived April 18, 2013!
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Re: Finally settled in... and back on The Bump!
Thoughts and prayers to your friend. That's such a terrible situation. I hope she can eventually find peace.
IVF # 1 ~ Antagonist ~ ER 1/27/11~ ET 1/30/11 ~ + HPT 7dp3dt
DD born med-free on 10/24/11
I'm so sorry for your friend. I don't think it matters much what you say, but that you say something. A simple card that says thinking of you, a small flower arrangement, or fresh baked cookies and a hug if she is nearby. I'm crying for your friend. Hugs.
IUI#2 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 5-9) = BFN
IUI#3 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP!
beta #1 11/23 = 270, P4 = 75
beta #2 11/28 = 2055
Our daughter E was born 7/29/2012!
Surprise, our 2nd daughter P was born 5/22/14!
Having your own space is a wonderful thing!
I am so sorry for your friend. I can't imagine..... I agree with PP, send a card maybe flowers. Offer to listen if she ever needs a shoulder cry on. It may be hard for her to be around you and your babies after her loss.
Me:34 Type 1 Diabetes, Ankylosing Spondylitis, Hypothyroid DH:35 Perfect
DX: Unexplained IF
Many IUI's with various meds all BFFN
IVF #1 11/11 canceled due to OHSS
IVF #2 Feb/March 2012 ET of 2 on day 3 4/7 BFP! 5/1 u/s blighted ovum
IVF #3 July 2012 ET of 3 on day 3 7/24 BFP!
Healthy baby girl born at 36w4d on 3/9/13
TTC#3
IVF #5 June 2018- PGS planned, no surviving embryos
IVF #6 August 2018- ET of 2 on day 3 - Chemical pregnancy
IVF #7 August 2019-....?
Welcome back! Glad you guys are getting settled. We stayed with my parents for three weeks last month during renovations. It was hard.
Sorry about your friend. No advice to I've you on that one...
Me-36, Unexplained Infertility, DH-35, all clear
Clomid 50mg 12/2011 = BFN
Clomid 100mg 1/2012 = BFN, with Cyst
IVF #1 Lupron/Menopur/Gonal-f/HCG Trigger
ER 4/19/12 = 11 retrieved, 6 fertilized,
ET 4/22/12 = 2 transfered (day 3), remaining 3 weren't good enough to freeze
Beta 5/3 = BFP, 87 Beta #2 5/7 560.9 Beta #3 5/9 1376.5 First u/s One Baby, 125bpm!
Second u/s, 176bmp! Kicked over to the OB by the RE at 8w. Team Green!!
Thank you all for your responses.
I agree completely. I'd love to visit her and leave the girls with my parents. All I can think about is how hard it was for me to be around pregnant people when we were going thru our IF issues, I can't begin to imagine being around new babies after such a tough loss. I think that flowers and a card are an excellent idea! I don't want to be overbearing so I'll probably just drop them at the hospital and let them deliver them to her room though. Thanks for the tip!!
It must be nice to finally be getting settled.
As for your friend, tell her you're sorry for her loss and be a person willing to listen to her when she's ready to talk about what's happened. So many people are horribly uncomfortable talking about death and especially the death of a child and it's hard to be a parent who loses a child because at some point you desperately want to talk about your baby and yet you feel no-one wants to listen. Continue to check in with her for days, weeks, months and even years to come (especially around when her due date would have been, and this time next year when she'll be remembering his or her birthday.) Call her baby by his or her name, acknowledge him or her as a real person and that her hurt will never go away. It will lessen over time but it will never completely go away.
Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
This Cluttered Life