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Resisting pressure

TattooedandCraftyTattooedandCrafty
in Natural Birth

We're insured with Kaiser, so a CNM or birthing center is not an option for us unless we wish to pay out of pocket.   My 1st birth was at a birthing center, and 100% intervention free, and as hard as it was, I am desperate to recreate the freedom of choice for myself.

I am deseperately afraid of being "bullied" into choices I don't want to make.  Does anyone have any tips or stories that might help?  Without paying a CNM out-of-pocket, my dreams of home birthing are only that: dreams.

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Re: Resisting pressure

  • Tigerlilym15Tigerlilym15 member

    Find a doctor who is natural birth friendly. At the very least you will want an OB  that you trust. That way if interventions are suggested you will know they are actually necessary. If anything is suggested ask questions. Why is this necessary? What are the risks/benefits? What happens if we don't do it? Are there any alternatives?

    I don't have any personal experience with kaiser but in my opinion hospital birth is not as bad as all of the natural birth resources make it out to be. I don't think most OB's are bullies. They may suggest things that aren't necessary but if you are educated and trust your doctor I think you can still have a great experience in a hospital. There are no birth centers in my area and home birth isn't for me so I will be delivering at a hospital for the second time. Try not to be too disappointed about what you won't have for this birth and focus on having the best birth you can in the hospital.

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  • Haley.BethHaley.Beth member
    If paying out of pocket for a midwife isn't in the cards, can you move around your budget a little for a doula? 
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  • helia.dhelia.d member
    We are insured with kaiser also and I had the same concerns. My OB is very supportive and the kaiser that I am at has many midwives available. Based on what I have been told, a midwife is on call to deliver for 16 hours of the day while the OB is there in the evening for 8 hours. I hired a doula so I could have that extra support. We are due 10/1 so hopefully all will go well. You also don't know who will be there to deliver the baby either. I also heard that kaiser is supportive on allowing the mother to birth the way they want but I guess it really depends on your nurse
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  • pixieprincsspixieprincss member

    I have Kaiser Mid-Atlantic and did a hospital birth with DS1 for money reasons. It was a challenging birth. While I was never bullied into anything, the reality is that the medical model (in my situation) was just not equipped to deal with my multi-day, OP baby labor in a natural way. Even with two doulas, it was a challenge. We found the money to have a CPM for all of my care with DS2 and it was worth every penny.

    That said, the best thing you've got going for you is that you are not a FTM. Since you've done it once, "they" might actually give credence to the idea that you can do it and know what you are talking about.

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  • BriDailyBriDaily member

    Pay for a doula if you have a hospital birth. It is well worth $500 out of pocket to have someone there to be an advocate for your desires!

    How much does a CPM run in your area? Where I live it is less than $4000 and sometimes the midwives are flexible on payment plans.  

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  • nosoup4unosoup4u member
    imagepixieprincss:

    That said, the best thing you've got going for you is that you are not a FTM. Since you've done it once, "they" might actually give credence to the idea that you can do it and know what you are talking about.

    This! I would interview doulas and see if they would be helpful. Talk to your DH/partner about being your advocate, write a (simple) birth plan and make sure your provider knows your plans. Stay at home for a good long time while you're in labor, so you don't have to be in the hospital very long!

    DS1 - Feb 2008

    DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)

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  • aylafsu88aylafsu88 member
    I agree with PPs, find a doctor who is supportive of natural birth. They are out there and I had a wonderful intervention free birth at a hospital with an OB.  I also recopmmend staying home as long as possible when you are in labor.  By reducing the amount of time you are in the hospital it greatly reduces the number of interventions they will push on you. I stayed home until I knew LO was coming soon (6 hours into labor).  I arrived at the hospital and things went very quickly. I was holding LO in less than 2 hours.  There really was not time for the staff to push interventions on me.  GL!
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  • ssemovskssemovsk member
    I told DH that no matter how much I complained that He can't let me cave and get an epidural. At about th 34th hour or labor I almost caved and he talked me out of it. He was awesome through the whole thing so I guess he was like my doula lol my ob at one point suggeted pitocin and without even thinking I said hell no and that was the end of that discussion
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  • carolinefriesencarolinefriesen member
    We hired a doula, and she was crucial to helping us navigate the hospital experience.  She helped guide us in our decision making, and she gave us the strength and knowledge to know when to push back against the doctors.  Without her, I know we would've ended up with a csection.
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