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Working Moms
aswan10
member
Children at work
aswan10
member
in Working Moms
Do your children go to work with you? What has or hasn't worked for your and your little one(s) at work?
My experience:
When I first asked if my baby could come to work with me, when I return from maternity leave, I more or less hinted that working and paying for daycare was probably not going to be a financial possibility. That of course is my problem, not work's problem, but they REALLY didn't want to loose me (talk about job security). My monkey started going to work with me (after my maternity leave) two days (short 4 hour days) a week and went to daycare the other three (6 hour days) days of the week. I work as a part-time church secretary. After a trail period (6 weeks), I asked if he could come every day, and they agreed with the understanding that we are all going to be open and practical about this, in the case that it no longer works. He is 18 months old and comes to work with me every day.
After he stopped napping in the pack & play, he started napping in the stroller. He recently started climbing out of the stroller's safety straps, so we switched to just one afternoon nap, and he no longer tries to escape the stroller. We use the pack and play just to play in (and to keep him trapped when Mommy is too busy to let him run around my office). Today, he figured out how to escape the pack and play, so I'm not sure what we are going to do now.
I have my own separate office with doors (no cubicle). There's a high chair in my office, the pack and play, toys, and room for the stroller. I don't have a special trick to keep him entertained and out of trouble; it's a "we learn as we go" type of thing. However, he has started to notice the phone, so he has and old cordless phone of his own to talk on.
There's a big room between my office and the other offices, so when we have a chance I let him run around out there to burn some energy. People actually come to the church ONLY to see my son (mostly elderly), and if he for some reason isn't there, they get a little sad. (Now #2 is on it's way, so it will be interesting to see how things work out for us) When we get off the elevator every morning, he likes to run to the Assoc. Pastor's office to say "hello." Everybody finds him to be an absolute joy! Don't get me wrong though, some days are better than others, but that's normal for children. Heck, I'm an adult and some days are better for me than others.
My experience:
When I first asked if my baby could come to work with me, when I return from maternity leave, I more or less hinted that working and paying for daycare was probably not going to be a financial possibility. That of course is my problem, not work's problem, but they REALLY didn't want to loose me (talk about job security). My monkey started going to work with me (after my maternity leave) two days (short 4 hour days) a week and went to daycare the other three (6 hour days) days of the week. I work as a part-time church secretary. After a trail period (6 weeks), I asked if he could come every day, and they agreed with the understanding that we are all going to be open and practical about this, in the case that it no longer works. He is 18 months old and comes to work with me every day.
After he stopped napping in the pack & play, he started napping in the stroller. He recently started climbing out of the stroller's safety straps, so we switched to just one afternoon nap, and he no longer tries to escape the stroller. We use the pack and play just to play in (and to keep him trapped when Mommy is too busy to let him run around my office). Today, he figured out how to escape the pack and play, so I'm not sure what we are going to do now.
I have my own separate office with doors (no cubicle). There's a high chair in my office, the pack and play, toys, and room for the stroller. I don't have a special trick to keep him entertained and out of trouble; it's a "we learn as we go" type of thing. However, he has started to notice the phone, so he has and old cordless phone of his own to talk on.
There's a big room between my office and the other offices, so when we have a chance I let him run around out there to burn some energy. People actually come to the church ONLY to see my son (mostly elderly), and if he for some reason isn't there, they get a little sad. (Now #2 is on it's way, so it will be interesting to see how things work out for us) When we get off the elevator every morning, he likes to run to the Assoc. Pastor's office to say "hello." Everybody finds him to be an absolute joy! Don't get me wrong though, some days are better than others, but that's normal for children. Heck, I'm an adult and some days are better for me than others.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Children at work
OP I think you have a unique job where bringing a child to work is feasible. It would not be possible in most office settings. I also can't imagine confining my 17 month old to a small room. I would much prefer him/her to be with a nanny at home or in daycare having "fun". But I see that he's only with you for short 4 hour work days- that's not too bad. Also you're trying to save money. I think in your situation if your employer is fine with it and it works for you, then good!
Obviously it won't work with 2 kids. I imagine you would then stay home with both of them since your PT job probably isn't paying enough to support both of them in daycare?
Anyway in my experience it is very rare for people to bring their kids to work.
http://balletandbabies.blogspot.com
That's great that it's working out for you. I had resigned when DS was born (and SAH) and my prior employer wanted me to come back for a temporary basis (she was in a pinch) and DS was about 5 months old. I asked her if I could bring him with me. She said she would check into it. I decided not to do it.
Fast forward 5 years later, I think DS is old enough now to come in with me next year for two half days during his school's Spring Break. I'll just bring some homework, books, and DVD movies.
OP, I think you are unusually lucky in both your work circumstances and your LO's temperament.
When DD1 was very young, there's no way I could have brought her to work; she was too energetic, needed too much attention, and my job involved mostly meetings. On the few occasions I brought her to work between ages 4-6, my productivity definitely took a dive that day, even though I often changed my schedule to accomodate my little visitor. Now that she's older (8), she can more easily amuse herself for longer periods of time, but it's still difficult to be as effective and productive with a visitor in the office.
With DD2, just turned 1, she's so interested in trying to walk that I'd spend my day either holding her hands or trying to avoid the very many child hazards in the office!
Bottom line, given my profession (management) and my kiddos, bringing LOs to the office isn't really an option for me.
I agree with this. It would not work for me. I have brought my daughter in to visit coworkers before, and tried to do a couple of quick work tasks while there, and it was barely possible.
I'm joking, joking ...
... Sort of.
I think it's great that this has worked out for you for the time being, but for 99% of the people I know this set up would be impossible.
I am sure your LO is lovely, but I can't imagine that every single person you work with thinks of him as an "absolute joy". Just sayin'
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
2010: Infertility
October 2015: missed miscarriage #2 at 11 weeks (trisomy 22)
This is how I feel. I don't see how this would be beneficial to you, your employer, or especially your child. This would not work with my employer. I can't imagine wanting to do this either.
And with 2 kids. Not a chance!
I agree. Working with your kids there isn't the same as being a SAHM or a working mother. In both of those scenarios the child is getting lots of attention from someone and has the ability every day to play outside and learn lots of the new things, including social interaction either at daycare or at playgroups, etc.
My work is different in that I'm a teacher and DD1 goes to my school so she's "at work" a lot. But not when I'm teaching - I don't see how that would work. I do bring her to events and things at school a lot.
I LOLed at several things in your post but in all seriousness, it doesn't sound like an ideal situation for him.
That being said, I'm also looking at options for "helpers" to come in and look after lo during the times of the day when I KNOW I'll be too busy or distracted to be able to attend to her the way I'd like.
Its definitely going to take some time to figure it all out, but I think its doable with outside help.
I would agree with the pp s though. It sounds like your current set up is going to work for a limited time, at best. I know a few moms in similar situations who decided that with two, it made more sense financially and developmentally to become SAHM s.
Good luck!
This. DD was in the same huge room all day with 7 other kids, two engaging teachers and a fun playground out back. Also, tons of toys, books, story time, painting, art work, activities, learning, etc. Not even close to the same thing.
ITA w/all of these comments.
I just don't think that arrangement is beneficial LT for a child.
We had a woman who brought her baby into work with her. I don't think she got much done and it was a distraction for everyone else in he office, too.
However, I work in a law office and it sounds like you work in a church so I think there is a fundamental difference between the two office environments.
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
I think it is awesome that you can make it work!
I run our churches daycare(100 kids). My daughter (4 months) is in the infant room. I still breast feed her and when she needs fed I just get her and bring her to the office and feed her. Also after her shots she had a fever which means she can't be in the infant room so I had her with me in the office. I think in certain situations it works. I don't think it would work for everyone. What kind of work do you do at the church? I know there have been people in the past here that have brought their babies to work. I think it can work great.
I have a Daughter born 2/26/2013. She is pretty much amazing!
It sounds miserable to me! I can't imagine having to try to entertain a toddler and accomplish work. I can see how it could work with the right job and right baby, but once they get mobile and into everything, it would become a lot more difficult.
Strange question, but if you could just focus on work and not worry about entertaining a child, could you work shorter hours and still accomplish the same amount? As an employer, I can't imagine paying someone who is only focus on work the same as someone who is 'working' and watching their child....
Instead of responding individually to everything, I quickly put it all together into one response:
What's funny about this is that the previous pastor semi-joked, semi-seriously mentioned bringing the baby to work. Hubby and I talked about it and asked the church pastor and committee. The pastor at the time said she didn't mind him coming to work with me as long as my work was getting done (motivation for me).
I mostly just answer 99% of the phone calls, send reminders for meetings, etc. and make the bulletins and newsletters, but sometimes there are other random tasks. I work the same hours now as I did before (26/wk).
I know somebody who works as a church secretary, and she actually brings all three of her children with her to work. However, she is lucky enough to have the nursery across from her office for the big kids to play in. If the church agrees to let me try bringing both to work, then I will do it because I am determined to make it work for as long as possible.
I actually am far more productive than you would think. When we first started doing this, I was more productive the two days he was there with me than the three days he was at daycare, and I HATED being at work those days. I simply learned to manage my time better when he is here. The things that I really need to focus on I work on more when he is napping.
We have a lot of fun too! We are both silly so we sing silly songs while I work at my computer, and I always take mini breaks to give him my full attention so we can read, tickle, play, run, etc. He actually learned to climb up and down the stairs at work because we don't have stairs at our house. When we get home, (depending on if nap time is done or not) we play outside with the dog and cat and experience nature. He gets LOTS of social interaction! He "talks" to co-workers, the coffee group that comes in every morning, the families and children that come to the church for assistance every week, etc. At work, he is learning some great values in the process without even realizing it (generosity, caring, etc.), and I am definitely improving my resourcefulness skills on a regular basis. The only time he is taught that he needs to be quiet is during our staff meetings, and as you can see, he is definitely NOT being ignored; people seem to be forgetting though that children shouldn't be given 100% attention 100% of the time, meaning that he is learning to play independently just as he should. He spends some time in the pack and play, then he gets our and explores my office. The Sr. Pastor here has a wife and two young children, so they come in and play with my son sometimes.
Around Christmas and sometimes Easter can get really hectic, so when I know I'm going to be super busy a grandma babysits. Once in a while, which is hard to do because of finances, I will take a day off to go to the county fair, go play with cousins or something like that. If for some reason I start getting really stressed or busy at work (mom's are good at sensing these things), my mom will make a surprise visit at my work; she watches him for a while. They explore the church while I sit in my office and work.
I wasn't really looking for advice. I just thought all the moms out there lucky enough to take their child to work with them could share their experiences. Since I can't afford to be a SAHM like I have always dreamed, this has been working very well for us.
I have something that I made special for him, but I keep it at home and only use it occasionally when he is cranky and I'm trying to make supper. I got a long tote, filled it with rice, beans, cups, scoops, etc. He LOVES it! It's like a sandbox, but it's in my house. I put a old shower curtain under it so that mess stays fairly contained.
No offense, OP, but if I had an employee who could manage to do her job while also caring for 1 (let alone 2!) child, I'd think that I need to cut her hours dramatically because she can get the same job done in much less time without a child around.
Obviously, this isn't your situation, and it's great for you that you've found the one-in-a-million situation where bringing a child in may work. But it's just not realistic for most women, or tenable for most employers (especially for-profit companies and positions where many acceptable candidates are readily available).
DD #1 passed away in January 2011 at 14 days old due to congenital heart disease
DD#2 lost in January 2012 at 23 weeks due to anhydramnios caused by a placental abruption
Looking back on it, we realized that we had a horrible experience with daycare, and that has been even more motivation for us to make this work as long as possible. 1) The daycare director had to take a leave of absence due to family illness so nobody knew what was going on, 2) I sent homemade baby wipes to daycare and they apparently left the lid off of them, they got moldy and didn't tell me about it so they continued to use them on our child, 3) they were suppose to give him a 3:00 bottle each day so that he would be fed when I came to pick him up. There were a couple of times when I got him home that he was extremely cranky for no apparent reason for a few hours, which was odd because as long has he had a full time and clean diaper he was generally a happy baby. Looking back at it, after we took him out of daycare, we realized that he was probably cranky those couple of times because they didn't give him a 3:00 bottle and failed to tell me, so he went 8 hours without a bottle rather than 4 hours. The daycare director has been back for a while now, so I'm sure it is 100% better now.
Yes, I realize bringing children to work is not the norm. Obviously people are missing the point, so I will try spelling it out more clearly. I have only seen a handful of blogs/websites that discuss bringing children to the workplace, but obviously there are people out there (like me) who are lucky enough to have the privilege of bringing their child(ren) to work with them. This post was published with the purpose, I will say it again, to share experiences of having children in the workplace, whether it was a successful experience or not. And who knows... maybe it would inspire/motivate other moms out there to attempt bringing their children to work.