Intro and thank you

Sharon216 · July 2013

Hi, ladies. I didn't know this board existed until a few days ago. I've been using the Secondary IF board for a couple years now, but it looks like this might be a better place for me now. Sorry for the long message and thanks in advance for any advice/support you can provide. I appreciate very much those of you that responded to my previous post.

We conceived our DD naturally in 2009 after 3 months trying, almost a year after getting married. I assumed getting pregnant again would be no problem. Boy, was I wrong! I first saw my Ob/Gyn after about 6 months with no success. He put me on Chlomid for a few cycles and then recommended seeing an RE. At that point, all our tests came back normal. I was having normal cycles, ovulating, tubes were clear and DH's sperm was good. We tried 4 IUIs and all resulted in BFNs. After picking up DH's medical insurance at the beginning of this year, we tried another IUI cycle with injections - another BFN. At that point, we decided to try IVF since we were told that would give us our best chance at pregnancy. We purchased an IVF package for $11,000 and I started my first IVF cycle in March with Lupron, Follistim and Menapur. I only produced 2 follicles so they recommended cancelling. We did an IUI instead and that was another BFN. The next cycle we couldn't do anything because my baseline appt revealed a cyst on my right ovary. Tried again last month with Chlomid and Follistim and had no response at all. My doctor called and said he didn't think there was a point in doing anything else and I hung up the phone feeling lost and confused. I decided to seek another opinion and DH and I met with a new RE last week. It was a much more personal experience than the large clinic I've been going to but the news wasn't any better. The first thing he said was, "You know you need a donor egg, right?" While I did know this was a possibility and DH and I had already discussed it, my previous RE never said anything about it so I was still holding out hope that we'd be able to conceive using my eggs, if I could just get a response to all the stims.

DH handles all our finances because he's much better at it than me. He said we could probably afford a DE cycle but not until next year after we both get our year-end bonuses. I know this makes sense but it's so frustrating to have to wait to do anything. If money was no issue, I still think it would be a tough decision, but since it is, it's that much harder. I have so many questions constantly running through my mind. Will we tell people that we had to use a donor or let them wonder why the next child looks nothing like me (DD looks exactly like me)? Will I still feel as attached to a child that's not biologically mine? I think carrying the child would help with that but I'm worried I would treat him/her differently than my first born.

Sorry... now I'm just rambling and I should be working. As I said, thanks in advance for any advice you can offer. I hope to learn more from all of you as we wait to make a final decision.

BabyVDM · July 2013

Hi Sharon welcome to the board!

Sharon216 · July 2013

BabyVDM said:

Hi Sharon welcome to the board!

Thank you BabyVDM. I hope that I'm not upsetting anyone that is still trying for their first child. I know that we are incredibly fortunate to have been blessed with a healthy baby girl but I desperately want a sibling for her to grow up with. I lost my dad to brain cancer when I was 27 and since my parents were divorced 9 years before that, and I wasn't yet married at the time, I was on my own to handle things with my sister. As kids and adults, we've had our ups and downs, but I can't imagine how I would have dealt with the loss of our father without her.

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