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Could use advice regarding multiple donors

sheetskrsheetskr
in Infertility Veterans

Hi Vets I know I may not belong here based on my number of posts though I just have one question for you and from an IF standpoint I do at least feel like a veteran. 36YO, 6 years trying, persistant endometrioma, undetectable AMH, cancelled IVF on strongest protocol because I only made two eggs. Trying to make it to retrieval with one more attempt at IVF this month, but eagerly moving to donor if it fails again this time.

So here's my situation and question if you'll let me pose it to you. Recently I worked up the courage to ask for a donor since I prefer known over anonymous. I was considering two women, one my 37YO cousin and the other my cousin's wife, a 34YO. The two are sisters by marriage. Both are amazing, beautiful women and I'm honored (read: floored) that either would consider donating. I decided to start by asking my CIL because she had a previous experience that may have made her more likely to understand my situation and consider it. She was thrilled and her numbers were excellent (high AMH, low FSH). With the momentum of the good bloodwork, she and I decided it was time to let my cousin know what was going on. I explained every detail including the part that I was considering her too and she wanted to help. She asked her husband that night about donating and he was supportive.

So somehow I'm so loved and supported that both girls are seriously considering being a donor!?! How would you handle this situation? Should my cousin get blood tested even though my CIL's numbers look good? I haven't asked my doctor yet but I imagine he would say to wait on my CIL's answer because my chances are improved with the slight age difference. That I can understand, but the difference is probably minor and there's an emotional piece here too. Thoughts? TIA!

35yo, DH 40, 5 yrs TTTC. Normal HSG and SA. Challenge is low ovarian reserve (AMH=.16) due to moderate endo. Two laps, 2 IUIs with injectables, no baby. Trying first IVF cycle 4/13. Actively seeking egg donor.
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Re: Could use advice regarding multiple donors

  • BzeetyDBzeetyD member

    Hey there -

    This question might be best posted on Infertility or on the Third Party Reproduction board.

    Hopefully you'll get some answers there that help you decide what to do.

    I hope that helps.

     

     

    BzeetyD = 38, Mr. BzeetyD = 44 together 12/02 married 9/08
    TTC #1 since 1/10
    DX: Unexplained/??? MFI issues

    Our lil' lost sparks:
    5w3d loss 7/30/10 - EDD March 2011
    8w loss 4/15/11 - EDD November 2011
    8w3d loss 8/2/12 - EDD March 2013
    4w c/p loss 10/29/12 - EDD July 2013

    Long story: trying on our own + testing testing testing with 6 rounds of Clomid, more testing, injectables + TI, laparoscopy - one tube blocked, 2 IUIs with Follistim...BFNs.
    RPL testing all normal, Karyotyping normal

    Moving on to IVF.

    IVF #1 April 2012 = BFN, IVF #2 June 2012 = BFP. U/S 7/23 = saw heartbeat but measuring behind. Follow up U/S on 7/30 - no heartbeat. D&C 8/2. Trisomy 12. IVF #3 Oct 2012 = Chemical Pregnancy

    Phone consult with CCRM on 12/12/12 - ODWU 1/4/13 - both tubes clear(!) - AFC 24, AMH 3.2, FSH 9.6, LH 5.4, E2 25. DH has high frag rate but improved!
    IVF #4 March 2013 CCRM. EP protocol w/ Menopur, Gonal-F & Dexamethasone. ER 3/29 & IMSI, PICSI. 43R 13M 10F 6blasts bio'd. CCS testing reveals 3 normals!!!
    FET 5/31/13 of 1 4AA blast - thawed and expanded. 4dp5dt BFP.
    Beta 9dp5dt = 181, 11dp5dt = 427. 1st u/s showed a healthy heartbeat! EDD 2/16/14

    After 4 years of hoping and heartbreak, our sweet little bean was born on 2/19/14
    We are so in love with her.

    "I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."

    Everybody is welcome!!!
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  • BeeBee08BeeBee08 member

    Wow!  What wonderful people you have in your life.  That's amazing!

    If it were me, and this is just me, I would get my cousin tested too.  I would personally really want it to be cousin so that there could still be some kind of genetic relationship - not that it really matters in the end, but if I could, then I would. 

    Good Luck with your current cycle though!!  FX that it works for you.

     
    me 33/DH 36
    ttc since 10/2008; d/x: mild MFI, stageII endo
    ~~PAIF/SAIF Welcome~~
    11 IUI’s = 1 m/c (7w4d)
    IVF#1 January 2012 BFN, FET #1 April 2012 BFN
    Surprise BFP October 2012 m/c (7w), Surprise BFP April 2013 m/c (6w4d)
    IVF #2: July 2013, ET 1 embryo 7/18, beta 1 @ 14dp3dt - 757, beta 2 @ 16dp3dt - 1762
    U/S 1 @ 6w4d = 1 little frogger with HB of 118, U/S 2 @ 7w3d measuring right on track with HB of 160
    Stick Frogger Stick! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!   It's a Girl, EDD April 7, 2014

    BabyFruit Ticker

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  • PrettyAccountantPrettyAccountant member
    Honestly I would get both tested. IF is so effed up that I always think what if something goes wrong. If she gets tested now and something happens where you have to go to your second donor, you would have already have the testing out if the way. I know it sounds crappy to always wait for the worst to happen but that always seems to be the way things happen.
    Good luck and you are very fortunate to have two wonderful people like that on your life.
    TTC 1/2010 DH Dx - Azoospermia 2/2011
    Hysteroscopy 3/2011 2 Polyps removed 4/2011
    DH on Clomid / Arimidex to address hormonal issues - Sperm found July 2011!
    IVF #1 September 2011 - ER 9/8/2011- 8R, 5M - icsi - 1 made it to transfer - BFFN :-(
    IVF #2 Lucky November 2011 - ER 11/25/2011 - 15 eggs!, 13 mature, 10 fertilized with isci - 7 made it to transfer! Transferred 1 - 8 cell and 2 - 7 cell. BFP!!!!
    1st U/S - Twins! 2nd U/S - 3 heartbeats!!! - HOLY COW!!!
    Prayers for our take home babies!
    2 babies born on 3/27/12 and lost. Last baby born on 3/29/12 and lost at 20 weeks.
    My angels grew wings shortly after birth.
    Ahava Raisel, Matisyahu Nissim & Zev Chaim - Mommy and Daddy will always love you.
    IVF #3 July 2012 - ER 7/17/2012 - 10 R. 5 F. 4 made it to ET
    Transferred 2 on 7/20/2012 no snow babies :-(
    Beta on 7/31/2012 = BFMFN
    A miracle gift expected to come to us through adoption around 9/2012
    Baby girl adopted - Birth Mother changed her mind and took the baby back
    IVF #4 October 2012 - New RE. Doing PGD Testing. 8 R, 7F, 2 made it to 5 day blast for PDG testing. Both Normal (Thank you G-d!!!) 1 boy and 1 girl
    transferred one beautiful 5day blast (girl)
    Please G-d the almighty one - let this be our take home baby!
    Beta #1 158, Beta #2 318, 1 Absolutely magnificent HB at 175! Thank you G-d!!!
    Baby Girl born August 5th. Thank you G-d for our precious miracle.
    AMA. PAIF & SAIF always welcome - I need all the prayers I can get!

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • sheetskrsheetskr
    Thank you ladies! Sounds like the consensus is to have my cousin test now not later. Sounds like a plan to me, and YES! I do have some pretty amazing people in my life. Who knows what will happen, though that I can hang my hat on.
    35yo, DH 40, 5 yrs TTTC. Normal HSG and SA. Challenge is low ovarian reserve (AMH=.16) due to moderate endo. Two laps, 2 IUIs with injectables, no baby. Trying first IVF cycle 4/13. Actively seeking egg donor.
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