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Far From The Tree-Andrew Zimmer
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I am reading "Far From The Tree" by Andrew Zimmer and found a couple of quotes I thought were worth sharing.
The opening paragraph got me:
"....In the subconscious fantasies that make conception so alluring, it is often ourselves that we would like to see live forever, not someone with a personality of their own. Having anticipated the onward march of our selfish genes, many of us are unprepared for children who present unfamiliar needs. Parenthood abruptly catapults us into a permanent relationship with a stranger, and the more alien the stranger, the stronger the whiff of negativity. We depend on the guarantee in our children's faces that we will not die. Children whose defining quality annihilates that fantasy of immortality are a particular insult; we must love them for themselves, and not for the best of ourselves in them, and that is a great deal harder to do. Loving our own children is an exercise for the imagination."
ugh...right through the heart.
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Re: Far From The Tree-Andrew Zimmer
I am reading "Far From The Tree" by Andrew Zimmer and found a couple of quotes I thought were worth sharing.
The opening paragraph got me:
"....In the subconscious fantasies that make conception so alluring, it is often ourselves that we would like to see live forever, not someone with a personality of their own. Having anticipated the onward march of our selfish genes, many of us are unprepared for children who present unfamiliar needs. Parenthood abruptly catapults us into a permanent relationship with a stranger, and the more alien the stranger, the stronger the whiff of negativity. We depend on the guarantee in our children's faces that we will not die. Children whose defining quality annihilates that fantasy of immortality are a particular insult; we must love them for themselves, and not for the best of ourselves in them, and that is a great deal harder to do. Loving our own children is an exercise for the imagination."
ugh...right through the heart.
and from the Down Syndrome chapter:
"Deirdre (a mom of a Ds girl who is a type A personality and did not know about the dx until birth) surprised even herself. "I was so sure I was the parent who was not going to be able to deal with a child who was in any way different" she said. "I was just relieved to love her. She was very lovable. All my friends had these children they thought were perfect, and then they've had to come to terms with their children's limitations and problems. I had this baby everyone thought was a disaster, and my journey has been to find all the things that are amazing about her. I started out knowing she was flawed, and all the surprises since then have been good ones."
*sniff, sniff*