When did you know you wanted children?

krzcoupon · July 2013

I grew up in a large family and when I was younger I always wanted kids. The number of kids I have wanted has steadily declined since I've gotten older. I'm only 25 so I know I have more time to think about it but I just can't picture myself being a mother. I have been with my spouse for 5 years (married almost 1 year) and we both want children and have decided to wait. The more I wait the more I think I don't want kids, or at the most only want one. Does anyone else feel like this? How old were you when you decided you wanted kids? How old were you when you started trying to have children?

Thanks

oneblessedmess · July 2013

No kids yet, but I've had baby brain on and off since high school. Like you, I always wanted children. When I try to picture my life years down the road, I can't picture myself without at least one, preferably at least two. DH wants four! We've only been married a month, and we're probably going to wait to start trying until 2014 at least, but we are both definitely impatient for babies!

I'm 23 now, and will probably be around 25 when we start trying. DH is a year older. You definitely have plenty of time to decide. If you're not ready that's okay. And if you never feel like you are ready, and ultimately decide you don't want kids, that's okay too.

CowgirlK39 · July 2013

I was the most anti-kids person my whole teen/early adult years. I worked in a pet store which seemed to be a magnet for annoying children. I was the yongest in my family, and the youngest of all the cousins, so I had zero experience with young kids.

When I got out of college I started working a job with lots of older women. When they would get to talking about their kids, and laughing about all the fun experienced they had raising them, I started to realize that was a part of womanhood and family that I wouldn't dare miss. Then I met DH, who has been baby crazy since he was fresh out of high school, and realized this was the man I wanted to have a family with. We are probably going to start TTC next year, and are so excited. I held a three month old baby this weekend and felt so whole and happy, whereas in the past I would have been uncomfortable and embarrassed.

Lola246 · July 2013

I was like this for the longest time!!! I have been with DH for 11 years married 2. We are both 27. Then something happened a few months ago. My entire thought procces on have kids changed. It was like something clicked! Now we are TTCing and I couldn't be more excited! You'll get there. Good luck!

Nechie122 · July 2013

At 25, I was absolutely sure I did not want kids. At 28, I changed my mind and at 29, I became a mom.

I would not give those four years back for anything. Being a mom is wonderful, but so was having time to focus on my career, travel to three continents, form strong friendships, pursue my hobbies, etc.

Some people are ready sooner, some later. Don't force it! Especially at only 25. When it's time, you'll know.

P.S. There's nothing wrong with not having kids if you don't want them, nor with having an only child. When THAT time comes, there's even a One and Done board here.

mmiller7460 · July 2013

DH and I talked about children when we were dating and we both knew we wanted them. Actually, we were "ready" to start trying before we had everything in place that we wanted before a baby arrived- ie. be married, own a house, save money etc etc. Now that we have achieved all of those things, we are TTC! I am 26 and live in a small town, so many of my friends were married with two kids by the time they were 22. I often wondered if something was wrong with me since I did not have the "urge" to settle down so early, but everyone is different. Take your time and do things at your own pace

55 · July 2013

I'm 28, and I only recently decided I wanted to have children. A big part of it was that when I was younger, I wasn't around a lot of small children. The ones I did know made me question why anyone would ever want to have children!

In the past two years, my husband and I have started spending time with couples who have small children. These kids are nothing like the ones I knew as a teenager. Though none of them are "perfect," they are completely delightful. They laugh and play with us, they sit still and read books with us, and they attempt to share their snacks with us. We love spending time with all these children, and we realized that it was really hard to leave them when we went home. It was then that we realized we would never have to leave our own kids behind, so we decided to we were about ready to start trying.

ap142193 · July 2013

I never wanted kids until I met my husband and even then i wasn't 100% sold on the idea. After we were together for a year and he made it clear it was very important to him I started to change my mind. My mother was the worst role model for motherhood and I'm sure that played a part in my previous desire not to procreate. Now I can't be more excited to have kids!

anssett · July 2013

I knew around 17 that I wanted children. That has never changed but I've put my career as top priority first so I'm 32 and we're going to start TTC later this year.

You're young. Give yourself time to figure out who you are and what you want before you stress about it.

curlygirl2004 · July 2013

I've always wanted to be a mom. I would have moments of baby fever even in high school but I knew it was impractical.

When I got married 2 years ago, DH and I decided to wait so we could focus on our marriage. Also, I had just started a new job. I didn't think it would be healthy to handle so much stress while pregnant. In March 2013 I gained permanent status at my job, finished a professional development course, and DH got a more stable job all in one week. And it was like BAM we were ready! But God had other plans and we're still TTC. Hopefully this will be the month!

LifeHappens2011 · July 2013

I have wanted kids ever since I can remember. I use to want 12, then it was 6, then it was 4, which I still want but I would be content with 2 (as long as I get a girl next). I am 25 and have an 8 month old baby boy. I married my husband when I was 23. We both wanted kids and as soon as we decided to try for one I got pregnant. I do not regret for one second having my baby boy but we do feel like we should have spent a little more time just us. Although our entire relationship before we got married was long distance so I guess we feel like we missed out on the dating part of being able to do things whenever. We are both so in love with our baby and he brings us more joy than we could ever have imagined. He truly is a gift from God.

AMM10 · July 2013

WndrlstJosephine:
A big part of me fears that I'm too selfish to be a parent right now. There are things my DH (btw, can someone please tell me what DH stands for?) haven't done together yet that we won't be able to do for a long time if we have a child soon. I also worry that I won't be good at it, that I won't have the energy and patience required to properly care for a baby. Has anyone else ever felt this way? I'd love to find a mother out there who would admit to getting pregnant while still also being somewhat terrified, but generally people say "I just knew I wanted to be a mom!" So either they're not being totally honest, or I'm not ready yet. I just wonder if I ever will be ready. I'm completely consumed by the thought of having a baby, but when we actually get serious about it I kind of panic.

Anyone ever been through something like this?

Yep, this is me. I love my relaxed life right now - DH & I each have a few interests/activities of our own, a few we share, and our easy-going fur baby. I know a baby will change everything, hopefully in a good way, but I also know that up until recently I was feeling too selfish to be ready to change that.

I spent my mid- to late 20s feeling like this, but right after I turned 30 a few weeks ago, something clicked for me. I know even if I don't know exactly what I'm doing, I have a fantastic DH & family that will help. I am learning to be more patient (thanks to my pup) and I can deal with (much!) less sleep because I'm confident I will adjust.

I'm still nervous, a little more so now that I've stopped BC, and I'm sure that will continue all throughout pregnancy. But I'm ready for the adventure!

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