She is seriously the biggest brat ever to walk the earth. It's strange because MIL and FIL do not strike me as the spoiling sort of parents. She rejected the first weekend we are in town for Howell's birthday because she's getting back from vacation the day before and her kids will be "thrown off." Fine. We switch it to the following Saturday and last weekend we're there. She calls and says that doesn't work either because her kid starts kindergarten the following Monday and she will need both weekend days to mentally prepare.
My niece is very smart and sweet and well behaved. I took care of her for three months while her nanny was on maternity leave and I was on summer break. She is not the delicate flower SIL is describing. So now she says she will bring the younger kid but leave the older one home. Imagine your mom doing this to you as a kid. It's SIL's loss, I guess. My niece will be that girl who moves out and spends holidays with her ILs. She needs to rest before school, she says. Like, she can't just come from noon to 2:00? That's two hours out of her day. I know I don't have school age children, but isn't this way over the top?
She suggested doing a special party with their family and H said no. We're only there a short time and we do not want to become those people who have 30 separate birthday parties. She can come or not. H also told her just bringing the youngest is not an option. Either come or don't. Isn't this ridiculous?

Then and now. How did my boy get so big?
Re: SIL
Baker, that's BEYOND ridiculous. I am so sorry you have to deal with that mess!!
Thumbs up to your H for putting his foot down. Who leaves one of her kids at home and goes to their cousin's birthday party with their sibling????
That is freaking bananas. For fck's sake, it's a one year old's birthday party, not a tweaker rave. Nobody is going to be destroyed all weekend for having attended.
Ugh.
In all seriousness, your SIL is a moron. If the party was at 8 pm, I could see her concern, but seriously? She needs to get a grip.
Maybe SIL has an alterior motive and is trying to strong arm you into just having a little party with them.