Working Moms

XP: how long did it take you to adjust going back to work?

Moms who went back to work... how long did it take for you to adjust being back at work and not having any separation anxiety (if you had any at all)? I've been back about 6 weeks now and I'm having some severe separation anxiety as of late. LO is being looked after by a family member, so it's not worry about her well being. I just HATE being away from her. I felt like I did pretty good the first month or so, but I feel like it's getting harder lately! Maybe I'm just hormonal? I just miss her terribly lately. I just want to be with her and watch her develop and grow! Lousy full-time job getting the way and everything. LOL
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Re: XP: how long did it take you to adjust going back to work?

  • mb314mb314 member

    I've been back to work for almost 6 months.  The first few weeks were the worst - I counted down to 4 pm each day when I could go get DS and longed for the weekends.  At 6 weeks, I was still adjusting. 

    In a way, it gets easier as LO gets older and you know they are playing at daycare and can be entertained more.  But I still have days/weeks where I miss LO like crazy and I can't wait to get him and see him. 

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  • It came in waves, as D1 learned new things, I would want to be home with her and feel guilty that I was at work.  Then it would kind of go back to the norm and I would feel fine at work.

     With D2, I pretty much ran to work without looking back.  ;)

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  • I went back at 8 weeks and adjusted really quickly. My mom watches DS at our house, and I felt really good about the routine we were falling into and I enjoyed being back at work. When he was about 7 months old I started to feel like I was missing out on a lot and not getting enough fun time with him and I was just kind of sad about it all. I took a week of vacation when he was 9 months old and we just hung out together at the house or ran errands. I also had a spa day for myself during that week. It was a nice breather, a lot of fun, and when it was over I was happy to go back to work.
  • I adjusted very quickly both times.  I'm very "out of sight of mind" though and I try to keep busy at work so the day goes by quickly.  Once in a while I do think about being at home, but I try not to let it get to me. 
  • I agree with PP who said it comes in waves for me. It got harder for me at certain times and then I'd get busy at work and a few weeks would go by smoothly.

    Since he became more mobile and interactive at around one year old it has gotten easier. Now I can see that he is excited to go to his DCP each day and they are doing more "fun" activities while I'm at work. 

    DS: 2/17/11          DD: 9/4/13
  • I didn't have any separation anxiety, but I'm also only 2 miles from the DC and go see him every day at lunch (still nursing too).  The occasions when I can't go for lunch means I don't get to him until 3, but those days I'm so busy with work (which is why I can't make it to him) the day goes by quickly enough that I don't dwell on it.
  • I dread this. Mine start next month as I start work and I'm so sad about it all.
  • Ditto PP on the coming in waves thing. Generally speaking, it got better for me ater about 2 months. It helped that we moved closer, and I could leave later. It is REALLY hard. I have been back almost four months now and I still count the minutes until it's time to go pick him up. Although, I do love that now that he is getting older, he can play and "be entertained" while I am working, instead of just being watched. Also, I loathe Mondays in a way I never thought possible now.
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  • I dunno I think I was numb and just did what I had to do with DS. With DD she was colicky and work was a nice break for the first few months. I miss her now but also feel we have a great relationship, so I know we'll both be ok.
    DS born 8/8/09 and DD born 6/12/12.
  • I adjusted quickly.  I felt a bit guilty at first and missed spending so much time with him, but honestly he can be a lot of work so sometimes I feel like my actual jb is more relaxing!  I missed the interactions with adults too during the day.  I don't think I could be a stay at home mom. 
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  • jd614jd614 member
    I've been back 6 weeks as well. The first week was hard then I was ok and now this week is tough again. I'm hoping it doesn't last bc I'm not as productive at work as I'd like to be while I'm missing him ! Good luck to u... I can totally sympathize as can many moms on this board !
  • Probably a month. But she went to daycare in the hospital where I worked, so I spent lunch with her every day.  I didn't suffer from separation anxiety at all though.  I really enjoyed the break (i.e. work) and still really enjoy going to work each day. 
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  • Honestly, my oldest is 9 and there are still some hard working mom days.  The day a FB friend posts that she popped in for lunch with her DS at school, or the class party to which parents were not invited but half of them went any way or the activity you cannot attend because of work.

    You just have to focus on your priorities and get a routine going.

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  • imagethedash:

    I agree with PP who said it comes in waves for me. It got harder for me at certain times and then I'd get busy at work and a few weeks would go by smoothly.

    Since he became more mobile and interactive at around one year old it has gotten easier. Now I can see that he is excited to go to his DCP each day and they are doing more "fun" activities while I'm at work. 

    I am also like PP who said it comes in waves.  For me though I find it harder as she gets older because she is so much more interactive and I wish I could be home with her to do fun activities.  My mom takes care of her and I am happy that DD is happy and but sometimes I get a little sad when my mom tells me all of the fun things they did.

    Hang in there mama.  Being a working mom is super hard.  This board is great for support. 

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  • imagemexicolombiana:
    I adjusted very quickly both times.  I'm very "out of sight of mind" though and I try to keep busy at work so the day goes by quickly.  Once in a while I do think about being at home, but I try not to let it get to me. 

    This exactly.  I took 3 months and was ready to go back by then.  We have a wonderful caregiver that we have complete trust in, so I really don't have the mommy guilt.  I do miss DS when I pause to think about it, but I know I'll see him soon so I'm ok with it.

    DD 12/20/99, DS 12/14/12, M/C 9/2014, M/C 1/2015


  • It took me over a year to feel like I really had the hang of it. (probably also got a lot easier because we stopped BFing/pumping at 13 months) But I never felt like I HATED working. Definitely give it some time, 6 weeks is still really early. I try to remember all the great perks and personal satisfaction that I get from working, and that helps.
    DD born March 2011
    DS born Dec 10, 2013
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