Question — The Bump
Military Families


My ex and I have a child together and he constantly threatens to call my husbands chain of command USMC to "ruin" his career every time he doesn't get his way or we get into an argument. We do have a custody agreement in place, which I follow to the T, but my question is... Can he call my husbands chain of command to try to get him in trouble? If so, what is the possible outcome? I'm so sick of these threats, and having to alter our lives to satisfy him. Any advice, opinions experience with this would be appreciated.


Re: Question

  • Sure, he can call them all he wants.  However, unless your husband is an S-bag and unless X has hard evidence that y'all are doing something wrong, they're going to talk to your H to figure out what's going on and then drop it.  If I were your H, I'd let my CoC know about your X and his issues.  Next time he threatens to call, take out the phone and dial the number your selves.  You shouldn't be giving in to his childish behavior if you aren't doing anything wrong.  You shouldn't be altering your lives if there is no issue other than him being a whiny jerk.  Frankly, I would have called an attorney by now.  
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  • Lol, Thank you for the response. I can assure you my husband is far from a S-bag, and no, my Ex has nothing to show as proof except his own childish behavior. I think that's a great idea to go ahead and let the CoC know whats going on, thank you. The only reason I give into him is because according to our court order I had to have either a judges permission or my ex's written consent to move more than 50 miles, Well when we got stationed in NC, I moved from FL without either of those things to follow my husband to the new duty station. My ex lives in NY, you would think that he would be happy that I moved 600 miles closer to him. Instead he throws it in my face that he will get me in trouble for not clearing this move before hand with the judge. Im a little scared to start back tracking the situation but clearly it needs to be done in order to get out from under my ex's thumb. Again, I appreciate the response. & will follow your advise on this.
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  • If I were you, I would retain an attorney ASAP to get your custody situation resolved.  I don't know if YH's CoC will care about the specifics of the situation, but the reality is that you are in contempt of the custody order and you could, in theory, be compelled to return to FL in order to comply.  Is YH aware that you were violating the CO when you moved with him to NC?  

    While I can't see how this would ruin YH's career, how a spouse conducts him/herself can impact how a service member is perceived by his CoC.  We all make mistakes, but this is one that involves a child.  I would work to get this resolved.  Your ex's poor behavior nor the fact that you moved closer to him obsolve your requirement to follow the CO.

    Best of luck.

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