Did Ferber not work?

Eitak82 · July 2013

DS is 5 months old, but I'm posting here as it seems more of you have experience with sleep training. We did Ferber at 4 months DS went from STTN to waking 24 times. By night 3, he was back to STTN with less crying than I expected on nights 1 2.

He STTN for about 2 weeks, but since then still wakes around 3:30 am at least a few times a week. Sometimes he lets out a cry for a few seconds and goes back down, other times he cries for upwards of 15 minutes before going back down and other nights he STTN. Has this been anyone else's experience? Did I do something wrong? Any advice?

opaque1997 · July 2013

Ummm.. I think maybe you are confused about what sleep training does.

Sleep trainign teaches them to self sooth.. it does not mean they will sleep through the night (having this fight with my husband)

My nine month old puts herself to sleep so she has been "sleep trained" - but she wakes sometimes upwards of 6 times a night - I just saw a sleep specialist and was told this was normal for a child of her age and she will grow out of it.. the fact that she self soothes back to sleep 95% of the time was the key.

GrantHenson · July 2013

I agree with the last post, the key is that your baby has learned to self soothe and there for is able to fall asleep without your help most of the time. I have found that on the nights that my baby still wakes and needs me to intervene it is just that. There is something that has happened that she can not fix on her own such as getting into a corner in her crib etc. I have also been told that it is quite normal for them to wake up once or more

Eitak82 · July 2013

opaque1997:
Ummm.. I think maybe you are confused about what sleep training does.
Sleep trainign teaches them to self sooth.. it does not mean they will sleep through the night (having this fight with my husband)
My nine month old puts herself to sleep so she has been "sleep trained" - but she wakes sometimes upwards of 6 times a night - I just saw a sleep specialist and was told this was normal for a child of her age and she will grow out of it.. the fact that she self soothes back to sleep 95% of the time was the key.

Thank you for this because I think I was unclear/had unrealistic expectations of what the outcome would be. May I ask then, now that you have "sleep trained," do you still just follow the intervals and go in and soothe, do you leave her and allow her to self soothe, or do you go in right away?

I don't want to let him cry longer than necessary, but I also don't want to un-do the positive changes we've had as a result of the sleep training as well.

Wild_flower25 · July 2013

That is completely normal. Ferber is not a 100% guarentee. There are going to be bad nights and sleep regression, oh up to the age of 5 or 6 really

orangegoggles · July 2013

I did ferber for the initial put down and to decrease the frequency of his wakeups. DS was waking after every sleep cycle, 1 1/2 hours because he couldn't self soothe. He still gets up 1 to 2 times a night but its been 5 plus hours before waking so I feed him then.

puppy_love6969 · July 2013

I ferbered and C sometimes STTN and sometimes wakes to eat at 4 ish. When she wakes in the night to reposition, she cries a bit but then goes back to sleep. SO im in the same boat.

this decaf life · July 2013

Nicb13:
Maybe he was too young at the time for sleep training and it isn't guaranteed to work for every child.
it's normal to wake in the night.

This. We just started Ferber 3 days ago and it's working really well but she does get up to feed once at night. She's waking up more than that but usually she's easy to settle, it's just once around 1 AM I get up and feed her. I sort of love that feeding more than any other now that she's waking less.

opaque1997 · July 2013

Well... Remember my daughter is nine months.. But what I do is I have a set time... For us it's four am right now, if she cries before that I give her five or ten minutes to settle... 90 of the time she does... When she doesn't I look on the video monitor and decide... Honestly I'm not consistent I judge by the sound of her cry, the time of night and sometimes how tired I am. If she's screaming that's not normal for my child so I go find out why... If she's just fussing I make sure she has her binky and she's not stuck.. Then I leave her. I would guess you could skip the first two intervals and go in for the long check.. If it's just fussing wait and see... But as others have said you need to attend to hunger.. At five months my girl was going at least six hours between night feeds but at six months she hit a major growth spurt and was eating every three hours...

A hungry child will not settle easily so I'd bet you'd know and I believe five months is too young to night wean... The right age is really parental decisions tthough

And fyi my husband still thinks sleep training means sleeping through the night and lots of people say I did Ferber and they slept straight through... But the doc today said that's not really true.. Some babies self soothe faster and quitier then others and some sleep better... But up until a year waking even six times a night isn't uncommon or worrisome.. obviously if they need help everytime that's an issue

Eitak82 · July 2013

Thank you all for your input. He actually has not eaten in the MOTN since 6 weeks he stopped waking for it. Also, his cry when he wakes is not the same cry he has when he's hungry if he were hungry, I wouldn't have any questions about what to do, I'd feed him!.

Thank you again for the help!

Kingston54 · July 2013

Waking one time at 5 months is normal. Maybe he's hungry, maybe he just wants a snuggle. Doesn't sound too bad!

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